for this to have made me a bit sad?

[hatesponge]

Was walking home with DS2 (10) yesterday from his childminder.

He was telling me about his class, who was who's boyfriend/girlfriend etc.

I said to him, half-jokingly 'do you think mummy should get a boyfriend then?' (I've been a LP since I split with his dad 4 years ago).

His reply:

'Yes, you need to find one with a good job, so you won't have to work so hard, and you'll be able to take me to school and pick me up every day'

:(

I totally get why that hit you in the heart. But look on the positive side - you're there being a good parent, talking to each other, he obvioulsy loves you and you him. Count your blessings and dwell on the positives.

I think it's the fact I've always worked FT, taking/collecting from school isn't something I've ever done. And I didn't realise he minded about it :(

I think it seems sadder in some ways because he's in year 6, he only has 1.5 terms til secondary school when he certainly won't want me around!

My friends five year old daughter told her she wished she'd marry a rich man so she could quit her job and look after her full time. I think your boy sounds very sweet, he loves you and wants to spend time with you.

My parents were married when I was little, but my mum made far more than my dad and couldn't afford to extend her maternity leave beyond 6 weeks.

In some ways, I would have liked to have been at home with my mum all the time. Mostly, I massively respect her for pulling through. Even more so because she left my dip-shit of a father and made our lives a million times better.

my DD says similar to me every so often and it does make me she actually offered to tell my "big boss" off for making me go to work there when i need to be at home to make her dinner

i just try and remind myself that if i didnt work we would be in a much worse position money-wise and she wouldnt get nice things etc i am married though but DH also has to work fulltime so he could hardly keep me so i copuld pick DD up anyway (must put lottery on one of these days)

I can imagine why that would pull on your heartstrings OP (your DS sounds lovely) although in the grand scheme of things I doubt it will have a big impact,. Like DoMeDom said you were obviously doing the motherly chat thing and he feels comfortable talking to you, so make the most of what you have and try not to worry about the small stuff, real life gets in the way sometimes

Please, educate him out of this way of thinking. It's not cute, sweet or adorable. Seeing you work hard to provide for him can be a valuable life lesson for him if you explain it the right way.

My DS1 (6) asked me if I was ever going to get a job and go to work!!

Don't worry I have been a lp for 8 years, its ok to tell your kids you need and maybe want to work.
My kids wanted me to get a bf to help move the washing and machine,and other heavy lifting,informed them this is not the basis for a happy and healthy relationship!
Don't worry the fact he is telling you this is a great sign of a good relationship.

I understand. Although not a lone parent I remember going into school and seeing a bit of work my DS then 5 had done about his family. Along with a picture of all four of us it said "my daddy is hairy, my brother is annoying and my mummy works a lot".

It did pull at my heart strings despite the fact that actually I only worked part time and his dad worked many more hours than me. Life isn't perfect, sometimes we want to work or have to. You clearly love your child so just focus on the fact that you're doing he very best thing for you as a family.

Kids have a way of getting you where it hurts.
My mum was a SAHM all my childhood. My mum says I used to make her feel bad all the time by telling her "Sarah/Jane/Julie's mum is a teacher/ nurse/secretary...why don't you do a job mum? "
When kids are older they can understand the choices adults make but until then we have to suck it up

awwwww!!!! bless

Samuel - I'm with you, my DS constantly moans at me for meeting him from school or going in to help with reading etc - he says I am an embarrassment - you just can't win as a parent

You are doing a great job looking after your DCs. They have a very ego-centric and short term view of the world, and there will always be things they want and can't have. Even your DS was acknowledging the material things are important when he said you should marry someone with a good job - he doesn't want to loose what you are providing for him, just wants to see more of you too! You should be proud that you have such a good relationship with him.

If it's any consolation, I'm at home with my DCs full time at the moment and DH goes out to work. He sees them for 1 hr+ in the mornings and is home to do bedtime in the evening. Weekends are pretty much all family time. DCs still say things like "you shouldn't go to work today Daddy, you should stay home and look after me instead." They will guilt you no matter what.

thanks everyone :)

It pulled me up short a bit, I'm not someone who has ever felt guilty about working (until he made that comment!) I've always been very clear that I was doing it for the boys, so we have our own home, I can put them through uni etc. Plus because I enjoy it and am (mostly!) good at my job.

He really is a lovely boy, I'm very lucky to be his mum (DS1 is lovely as well I should add, but a teenager so a v different kettle of fish!) If I can work on DS2's listening skills he will make some girl a fab husband someday., as he's quite good at housework and always tells me how pretty I look when I'm dressed up to go out :)