breastfeeding...

[notitswerebritish]

namechanged, cause i know breastfeeding topics bring out the evil in mums net!
yesterday i had my friends dd over after school as her mum had to take her baby to the baby clinic and its a drop in and be seen in order type one. baby is 11 weeks.
so i bring her dd home, my dd, both 7. my ds, 5 and my older one, 13 comes in same time. my oh is home on a half day and is working on the comuter.
friend comes to pick her older dd up and comes in for coffee. at this point my ds1 is at the table doing homework, girls upstairs and hubby on comp still
she sat down with her drink and her baby started fussing, friend said that baby needed a feed. i ask if she needs a cussion of a drink or anything, no she says, but can ''they'' go upstairs. meaning my hubby and son. i ask why and she said she doesnt like to feed infront of people. ok i say, feel free to go and use my bed, close the door, relax and crack on.
she says that she hates feeding upstairs and shouldnt have to go up there on her own to feed.
i said i wouldnt ask dh or ds to go upstairs, they are both busy. so she collects her stuff calls her elder dd and walks out. with the parting shot, thanks for the support breastfeeding is hard and she thought i was her friend.
now i seriously think wtf!!
but was i U?

She's a silly cow tbh, I fed everywhere, if u are discreet and use a light shawl no one can see your boob anyway, tell her to grow up!

Her demands were completely U. Silly and ridiculous.

YANBU, she was but as others have said she might not have realised (although I still think its precious to expect your family the vacate the room so she can feed).

You picked up her DD from school, offered her drink, cushion and use of your room for BF. You were very supportive of her. She was rude and very silly to alienate such a kind friend. I hope she realises this and apologises soon. I am an extended breastfeeder, but would never expect another family (or even my own) to reorganise their lives around BF!
On the plus side it's nice to see MN so united over an aspect of BF! :o

Ahh, at last a BF thread where we are all in agreement. She's batshit crazy if she thinks everyone should move out of the way for her.

I'm bf at the moment, DS is 4 months. I'd have thought by 11 weeks you should have got the hang of how to do it in awkward places. I hate getting my tits out but needs must if you want to bf and have a life too so you just have to deal with it in all sorts of places.

If she is that self concious then she should get her self a shawl or one of those horrendous hooter hiders. She has no right to tell people to "go upstairs". She is being a complete and utter diva. She was offered a place to feed privately and was completely and utterly unreasonable.

Maybe she has postnatal depression.

I happily BF anywhere and everywhere, but I do appreciate not everyone feels comfortable doing so.

I don't think you were being unreasonable at all and she was BU to ask your DH and son to leave the room. However, in the interests of friendship and being a good host, as well as the fact she may be over tired and hormonal, I would probably have asked my DH and son to leave the room anyway. I doubt either would have minded if I explained my friend wanted to BF but was embarrassed.

She (your friend) is being completely UR.

I can't really see what the fuss is about with these shawls to cover up the breast. It's just a breast, nothing to get worked up about.

Ring her up and ask if she's ok, but don't back down. You weren't being unreasonable at all to refuse to ask your family to leave so she could breastfeed in your living room. Why not offer to show her how to breastfeed discretely. Lots of first time mums don't know how and don't even realise it can be done.

YANBU

I feed all over theplace but I appreciate some people are a little more coy, however the onus was on her to go upstairs. You offered an alternative. You can't ship your family out to suit her

She was being very unreasonable - so much so that if she is normally more easygoing (and I guess she must be, if she's your friend and this has surprised you!) I would see if she is actually ok - she might be embarrassed now.

YANBU at all. She is bonkers!! I' m still BF my 18 month old and I feed her anywhere. I certainly wouldn't expect people to move out of the room if I did not feel comfortable. I'd go upstairs like you suggested.

YANBU. You were very supportive - wow a unanimous MN breastfeeding thread.

Blimey! I didn't expect that! You weren't asking her to sit in the bathroom or the coalshed FFS! Your family shouldn't have to clear out, thats ridiculous.

I whipped mine out anywhere mind you!

yanbu she was

Look on the bright side. If she left your house with a poker up her ass the hump she'll be unlikely to return. She'd have left mine sooner still, with the words, "How dare you! Go issue demands in your own home, to your own family, not mine!" ringing in her ears. I sure as hell wouldn't have her in my house again.

I love "boobzilla", I so want an opportunity to use the term now!

Agree that she is an unreasonable diva.

YANBU

I would never have dreamed of asking people to leave the room so that I could feed DS. I know that it can be daunting to feed in front of others, but if that's what you've got to do then do it. You offered her a perfectly acceptable alternative if she didn't want to feed in front of your DH and DS and I think that you were more than supportive of her breastfeeding.

That said, like some others have pointed out, could be down to hormones, tiredness etc.