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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To ask for holiday vouchers?

15 replies

LargeGlassofRed · 06/03/2012 22:36

Getting married in June, we've already sent out invites, we didn't put anything about presents in the invite, as it just seamed wrong and rude.
Have had a few calls of people asking what we'd like as presents, have said nothing just your company. A couple of friends though have said they would get us thomas cook vouchers, I'd never heard of them before.
So would we be unreasonable to ask for vouchers if approached? Still makes me feel uncomfortable.

OP posts:

scotlass · 06/03/2012 22:40

I think the key is if approached. If I was invited to your wedding and wanted to get you a gift I'd rather my money was spent on something you'd like than something stuck in a cupboard never to see daylight. I'm sure those who ask you are keen to get you something

For friends who have lived together for a while I normally do B&Q vouchers.

Original poster

LargeGlassofRed · 06/03/2012 22:46

Thanks, there isn't anything we need, we rent and space is limited, also if we end up getting loads of vouchers from random
Shops, will end up buying stuff we don't need.

OP posts:

FlossieTeacakeShouldFakeIt · 06/03/2012 22:50

Opinions are divided on this, but I think it's ok to say you want holiday vouchers if you are asked. But it really does have to be only when you are asked. Which means that it might not end up being worth it unless you are asked by quite a few rich and generous people.

Personally, I think its awful when people ask for money or vouchers. Really truly awful. I'm ok with lists as long as they are fairly traditional and have a lot of easily affordable items on them.

JasperJohns · 06/03/2012 22:53

This is very divisive on MN.

Many will think it OK, many will think it vulgar.

I'm the latter, I'm afraid.

Original poster

LargeGlassofRed · 06/03/2012 23:04

Ok, thanks. So what do you say to a guest who's insistent on getting a present?

OP posts:

FlossieTeacakeShouldFakeIt · 06/03/2012 23:09

If someone insists on getting you something you can say that you would appreciate something of their choosing that would make you think of them, or you say you would appreciate holiday vouchers. It's ok tobe honest if you have been asked, it's just not ok to ask for money/vouchers in an invitation without being asked what you would like.

Original poster

LargeGlassofRed · 06/03/2012 23:20

Sound good Flossie, think I'll go for that approach.

OP posts:

zipzap · 07/03/2012 00:46

Be careful though - before you get Thomas cook vouchers... Would you actually use Thomas cook normally for your travel? You don't want to end up annoyed with your travelling because you paid twice as much for it vs buying from another agent or the Internet...

If it's towards your honeymoon and there are things you want to do - eat at a special restaurant, visit a particular museum, go to a special club, do a special tourist thing etc then howabout making a list of all of them and the prices, people could give you a particular bit of your hol and thank you cards become easy - pic of you at the place turned into a card and sent when you get back.

CaoNiMa · 07/03/2012 03:01

Heavens, no. It's the height of rudeness and vulgarity. Why should anyone else pay for you jollies?

ifancyashandy · 07/03/2012 07:42

As others have said, this is hugely divisive on MN.

I can see your reasons but I hate it. My instant reaction is; it's outrageous to ask people to contribute to your honeymoon or holiday. If you can't afford a trip, don't have one (or have what you can afford). I would rather someone bought me a gift they had chosen with love & care, even if space were limited. Travel vouchers make me feel part of a homogenous mass & only invited for my financial contribution (even if I were only told of the plan once I'd asked).

ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway · 07/03/2012 09:21

I don't see a problem with it if people are already asking you what you would like as a present, I wouldn't attend a wedding without giving something to the happy couple especially if invited for the full day meaning a meal, toast drinks etc provided. Makes perfect sense if you have a small house and I don't see why some have such a problem with paying for "your jollies" instead of paying for your toaster, dinner service etc. Times have moved on, most people are living together and have all their household stuff before marriage now.

featherbag · 07/03/2012 09:26

I say go for it - I think it would be more crass to insist your guests risk wasting their money on something they like but you have no use for. You will get all answers from the 'yes, it's fine' of mine to 'I'd never speak to you again if you did something so rude' on here though so don't expect any actual help making the decision, just a load of very different opinions!

susiey · 07/03/2012 10:38

I like giving money or vouchers as a wedding present.
Close Friends of ours have asked for money towards their honeymoon and I know they simply cannot afford to go away even for a night , I'm hoping people give generously to them so they get away for a few days before they begin married life.
They are both poor students who have all the cooking stuff they need or can manage with what they've got.

ArielNonBio · 07/03/2012 10:41

Do it. It's a good idea

But be prepared to be called names by some posters on here.

memphis83 · 07/03/2012 10:43

Make sure if you do tell friends holiday vouchers, you tell them for the specific travel agent or you could end up with different agents one, also look into what denominations they come in, my brother asked for them for a specific agent a while ago and the smallest was £50 which might seem too high for some guests.

Flip