To be fantastising about a fling I had 10 years ago

[mrsbertiewooster]

Am very happily married, great affection/sex life , have 3 DC together, been married for almost 7 years.

We recently got away for the night to a lovely hotel, spa treatments, gorgoeus meal, etc, but I spotted a guy I had a fling with YEARS ago, back in 1999 to be precise.

He didn't see me or anything and left before I spoke to him or before we had any mutual recognition.

I sometimes think of him as 'the one that got away' as it was an intense fling at the time. I met my DH shortly after that time, but bumped into him on a night out a few months after that time and felt there was still chemistry. I thought about leaving DH (or boyfriend as he was at the time) for him but didn't. I don't know why..

I love my DH very much, although things have been a bit stressful, long hours with his corporatey job, and also having 3 kids under the age of 4. I know DH was the one I was meant to marry, he's a wonderful guy and we have 3 lovely (most of the time!) DC.

Do I just love me then as a carefree 20 year old? I've no intention of pursuing this, but I often wonder about him. I get a bit wobbly-kneed thinking about him. I heard on the grapevine he got married anyway. He looked well, but aged a bit. Am more in love with the memory of him as he was then.

Do I sound a bit like the bridges of madison county?

I do hope I don't call out his name on my death bed when I've lost all reason!

[settles down with to wait for MN to tell me to get a grip]

get a grip.

What you have is better than a what of might of been

MBW, not unreasonable, I think a lot more people than you realise fantasise about an ex from time to time, ESP if they have just caught a tantalising glimpse of them...it's clear you DO realise what you have, and I'm sure you also know that life wouldn't be more exciting with this guy than with your DH. Kids make things so different don't they, sometimes it's great to get a look at the carefree person you were before it all...doesn't mean you don't like your life as it is though right!?

I do think my life is probably richer now with DH but it's a bit like that Robert Frost 'Road not taken' poem - am just wondering what kind of a life I'd have had with him?

It was very whirlwindy whereas it was more of a slow burner with DH - sometimes I think myself and DH come from different planets, but we work very well together. And make a good married team.

Of course he has seen me in my dressing gown lots of times, held my hair back through morning sickness, helped prop me up with the midwives when I gave birth to our DC.

But it's all very settled now, we do have romantic night but also talk about paying the gas bill, removing weetabix from the kitchen table and the benefits of getting piano lessons for the kids...

Just occured to me that this might be a case of the 7 year itch?!

romantic 'nights' rather

Isn't that the point of old flings? Who knows what might have happened. Enjoy your memories but remember reality ( which it sounds like you do :) ) and don't worry about it.