To think that if I get to my ideal healthy weight and you dump me because of it then fuck you

[shaketastic]

Been with bf (neighbour) for last 5 months, lost a stone and a half since then, lost my way abit since xmas but now back on it, was told last night that if i go below 10 stone then he will dump me, he doesnt like skinny women though at my height and that weight i will still be overweight,
I am so pissed off

Why wait til you've lost the weight? Ditch the weirdo now.

Dump him now!

tell him to fuck himself!

he's probalby worried that you will go off with someone else, or that they will find you attractive if you are slimmer.

its reverse bigotry.

You go girl, be the weight you are happy with/is healthy and screw everyone else! seriously you want someone who loves you for who you are not what you look like!

God, what is he, he Weights and Measures Man?

Obviously you must dump him for being a complete and utter twat, but first tell us what other stupid things he says.

the, not he!

"was told last night that if i go below 10 stone then he will dump me"

Agree with fuckity - ditch the extra weight right now.

ImperialBlether

Sounds like you will be well shot...

A man wouldn't say that because he doesn't like skinny women or likes you as you are. A man who loved you would love you no matter what size you are and would support what you wanted, as well as wanting you to be healthy.

Only a man who is insecure about himself would say something like that, it shows he wants you have less confidence in yourself, get less attention from other men, and allow him to treat you like crap because you think you can't do any better.

Ditch him, he is not right for you.

I would but i'm in love with him, he was all for making me low carb meals at first when i'd done a late night at work and he knew i hadn't eaten,
I'm totally gobsmacked by what he said last night, I thought he was behind me losing the weight.

Sound like you can easily lose another 11-12 stone without much effort.

I would be dumping him right now! There is no way I could be with someone like that.

omg just seen the other messages, he has put on weight since we started seeing each other, he willl not knock my confidence if anything it has made me more determinted to lose the weight

"I would but i'm in love with him..."

So then, not 'fuck you', as you said in your thread title. But rather, 'that's fine, I'll do whatever you want because 'I love you''...

Obviously what you do is up to you but this kind of behaviour is seriously concerning. What next? Will he think he can tell you how to dress, how to wear your hair, who to see?

There is a difference between "you look lovely you don't need to lose any more" comments and "do what I say or you're dumped".

How on earth can you still be in love with a man who says he will dump you if you weight less than 10 stone? Really? Find your self esteem and kick him to the kerb.

I won't do whatever he says because I love him, I am gonna lose more weight whether he likes it or not,
I did get the "I love you for the way you are" speech when I first started to diet and I will carry on regardless,
Just sad and shocked that he said that.

How would he know your weight unless you told him?

It's at the same time so controlling and so arbitrary.

You can just imagine him in bed, thinking about it. "I'm going to tell shaketastic that I don't want her to get too thin. But what weight should she be?" Dwells. "Nine stone? Nine and a half? No, she'd have a thinner waist than me, can't have that; I don't want to look fat next to her. No, what about 10 and a half? Hmm no, don't like that either. Her waist would be nearly as big as mine. I know!" Lightbulb moment. "I'll make it a round ten stone. Nobody can argue with that." Drifts into a comfortable, judgemental sleep, where he dreams that he has control over everyone's weight, right down to the last ounce.

I probably did tell him as I felt more comfortable with him as I would a new man I didnt know as he is a neighbour, that passed alot of things, he has been here as long as I have, he has seen me skinny and fat,
I will continue to try to lose the weight, if he dumps me then it is his loss, can't be arsed with this shit anymore

Tell him it's ok, you have plans to dump him when you reach 10st 2lb. So this is never going to be a decision he has to make.

Why? BECAUSE YOU CAN!!!

It's no different from if you were underweight, and he said he'd dump you if you went over say 7 stone because he doesn't like 'fat women'. Anyone who has a problem with you being healthy and happy is not worth bothering with, if he dumps you over this you'll be better off rid of him.

Have you tried pointing out to him you are reassessing your relationship as if he would dump you because of your body shape, he obviously doesn't really care about you as a person, just your body and you're not sure you want to be with a man who doesn't love you, just fancies you? If he's not intersted in your personality, it's not much of a relationship.