This is a bit silly and I am long-winded, so I apologise in advance. The brief version for those that don't like to read much is this:- I made a sodding huge diaper cake for a friend and am worried it is far too OTT and will make me look crazy if I give it.
Background:- I am an obsessive gift-buyer and giver, always have gone overboard on every birthday, Christmas etc for my near and dear. Most people are used to it. One of my worst over-gifting situations is baby showers.
So the problem is this:- a friend is having a baby shower this weekend. I like her very much - I don't do close friends, but if I did I would probably make more effort to see her often - she is a lovely person and I know she has wanted this baby for a long time. So I have been planning her baby cake for several months... I wanted it to be my biggest yet. I must have been to 40 shops in the hunt for the perfect items, I wanted it to be full of useful things I found good with my three kids. I also just inherited some money so must confess I spent more than I would ever have spent normally as I wasn't really counting what I spent on each thing... I just bought anything that fitted the theme and that I liked.
Unfortunately, I went totally overboard. She sent an email when I was halfway through building it, asking me not to go over the top or spend too much as it would make her uncomfortable. I felt terrible as I had already done this, but we talked about it and she said she was very excited about the cake, and just didn't want me to think I had to make a big deal because she knows I always do. She said it would be fine, just to promise not to buy anything else. I haven't...
I finished the cake yesterday. I feel sick looking at it - it is like my own personal albatross sat there on the table blocking the light as it pretty much fills the window. I covered a 2ft by 2ft plywood board in silver paint and cellophane to look like a cake board - and the cake hangs over the edges of it :-(
2ft squared at the base, and the same height as my 3 year old. It is crazy. Every inch of it is covered in stuff - 180 diapers are inside, and there are enough toys for a daycare, everything from nappy cream to cool gel breast pads, blankets, outfits, towels, bath stuff... it is insane. I made a list of everything on my computer as I built it, for the 'recipe' - it is 3 pages of word document. 12pt. Single spaced list.
Now I am faced with my creation I can no longer deny my total shopaholic tendencies or obsessive over gifting. It is sat there judging me. I know if I take it to the shower there is no way I can pretend I didn't spend too much - it is very clear that such a large cake with those items has cost hundreds of dollars. I will have to have a friend with a truck deliver it as it is too big for our car. Two people will struggle to carry the fecking thing.
If I take it the shower it will dwarf everyone else's gifts. It will steal attention from everything. I don't want that. It is the sort of a gift the expectant grandmother might give if they were particularly excited about the baby... not something you would expect from a casual friend you see maybe once a month. It was so crowded I had to put the 22 pairs of socks I made into sock roses on a separate wreath for decorating the front door, because there was no space for them on the cake.
What to do? I can't face pulling it all apart and couldn't return half the stuff as tags were removed/been two months since purchase etc. I could maybe save half for another baby shower, but it is all themed to this cake so hard to split.
I want her to have it, but feel I have to apologise and am scared it is going to make her feel forced into a closer friendship than we have right now. I had already made it clear I am happy to help out with babysitting anytime as her husband is Navy so away a lot. I don't want her to think I am forcing my way into her life. It was meant to just show I like her and am happy for her, but it seems to say more that I am lonely, bored, baby obsessed and unhinged.
What should I do? I already think if I do give it to her I will do so after or before the shower, not at it, so it won't be on display when everyone does the gift opening. Probably everything everyone else brings is on the fecking cake anyhow.