Okay, front down, no one i want to talk about it in RL with

[MyLittleMiracle]

Some of you will already know me and what i went through and it was horrendous. So why do i feel sad, having handed in my divorce petition? I dont know It just felt like almost 8 years of my young life has been scrubbed out. Feels weird. I was warned to expect strange feelings after i got the divorce. He treated me like shit was verbally, physically, emotionally and financially abusive. My life is SO MUCH BETTER without him. So, despite putting on a front do i have this slither of sadness deep with in me? Maybe its cos its coming up to my second mmc's due date 26th March? Maybe its moving into a new area, and it feels like it should be a family home, with mum and dad and the kids. I am not sure tbh. Just feeling generally sad. I want to sit and cry and get it all out. Someone tell me it will get better? I am chatting to someone through an online dating site but now on msn, and we get along really really well. Considering meeting him!! So why, when my life is going perfectly do i feel this sadness?

Anyone? Please dont flame me, its got to be hormones or something right?

I don't know your situation but I remember getting my decree absolute through the post about.. ooh... 14 years ago and just breaking down sobbing. And my XH was a twat and knob of the highest order and the divorce was 100% at my instigation.

So what are you experiencing cannot be abnormal surely? Cry, get it all out and then put it behind you.

Whether it was for the best or not,you have still experienced loss and massive changes, so it is understandable that you feel sad.

I think that you always grieve for "what could have been, but hasn't", allow yourself to do this and be kind to yourself.

You are at the same time making new plans, so these feelings will go, as you achieve positive changes and goals.

You will look back on this time and tbh it will make you grateful for what you make of your life. It will also give you confidence, knowing that you have come through to the other side and held it together.

Maybe its just being homeless, and now having somewhere to move into, the divorce, mediation looming (shuttle so we dont have to see each other) little one is two this year. Everything happening at once.

Thank you, so glad this is normal. It feels like 8 years havepassed me by.

Perfectly normal feelings hun - we were together 16 years, it was like the things we went through had been re written. Big things like miscarriage, illness,all disappeared. Happy times -children being born, holidays all suddenly because almost some one else's history.

I felt like I had lived a lie for all those years and all my precious memorys were ripped away from me. I grieved for those happy times, I was literally bereft. I dodnt know where to turn and had no one to talk to who could even begin to understand how I could be sad about getting out of a terrible relationship.

Deep down like you I knew it was the best thing, I used a journal and wrote everything down - its utter drivel but it really helped me deal with my feelings.

Now I can hand on heart say i have never been so content with life, I have moved on and can look back at those precious times again with a happy heart. It takes a while (and the going to court to hand in the petition is a lousy day anyway!) but you will get where I am

You poor thing, your grieving the death of your old life. You have nothing to be ashamed about

Your probably highly anxious about all the unknowns of the future too.

Big hugs

I got divorced from my starter husband a few years back. Feeling sad is part of it, although he too was a twat. Best decision I ever made. I haven't looked back and have got happier and happier. Now married with a DD and a lovely new place. I bumped into him at a friend's party a while ago and it was great. I have grown and moved on and it looks like he is still a twat just not my twat any more.

You will move on and the last 8 years are not wasted. You learnt some very valuable lessons. If it takes you 8 years to learn what you absolutely won't put up with, it is time well spent. My first marriage was about that long and I now thank my lucky stars for it because my current DH shares none of the faults that my first H did. Because I know myself now. It's a hard road but well worth it.

Good luck!

By the sound of it you've had a rough time lately, sometimes it takes a while for the stress and anxiety to work it's way out of your system ... Take it easy for a bit and give yourself time to settle and find your feet again.

I've been there, too. You have a life ahead of you so look forward not back. I would add one thing though. Give it a lot of time before you make any major decisions about your Internet friend.

We are just chatting and he doesnt want anything major. He has just seperated from his wife too, i suppose thats why we understand each other, among other things. We have both opened up to each other. And if we never meet, we have still helped each other.

Thank you for everyones support. I was half expecting oh well your still in love with him you sily cow blah blah blah, so to be told that these feelings are normal makes me feel so much better!