to leave the UK to give my kids a better chance in life

[anychocswilldo]

I have 2 little dc and my dh and I are seriously talking about emigrating. This country is on its knees and this is surely only going to get worse. I'm just interested in your opinions, or if anyone has left UK, any advice. Would my kids and my dh and I have a better quality of life in a country like Canada, Australia or New Zealand or is it a grass is always greener myth that other countries offer more. Leaving my mum and other family behind would b very difficult for me, would the sacrifice be worth it?

Emigrated to Canada 6 years ago. Its not all perfect, but overall I am happy to be here. There is a much more positive outlook. And my 2 daughters play football, as do I. Don't think any of would play if in UK.

I had to weigh in, because some of the things said on these threads are so ridiculous.

I'm in Australia. We haven't really been hit by the recession. People are cautious about the future, but there is nothing like the sort of pessimism that I see on mn. You would never hear people here talking about discouraging their dcs from going to uni, or being afraid that they had no future.

Sydney is very expensive, and I would not encourage anyone to come here unless they have two good incomes. But there are other parts of Australia that are more affordable. I lived in Canberra and we were able to afford a very nice 3 br house on 900 square metres on one fairly average salary. It was considered the outer suburbs, but in Canberra that was only 20 min drive to the centre. It was a great place to live too, family friendly, nice people, good cafes and restaurants, good schools, lots of outdoor space, very obvious seasons (although everywhere has seasons - wtf is that about?).

And my ds plays football. I would say almost all little boys and a lot of girls play football.

Like tryingtoleave I would have to say Oz has weathered the global storm a LOT better than the UK, people are pretty confident in our economy, not spending like crazy but not as fearful as the UK.

Sydney is a bloody lovely place to live*, if you have the cash.

Nowhere will change who you are though so if you are the sort of person who says 'This is too hard, lets move' it won't actually matter where you are.

Not really getting the football/seasons thing either, we have seasons and DS1 plays football.

I don't know much about Canada or NZ for living. But I do know you can't just decide you are going to live in Australia and get on a plane, you need to offer something worth being given a visa.

*Though NOT it has to be said, THIS summer!

We had the move to Australia just 2 months ago and it is as stressful as hell!!

Having said that we're glad we did it (despite the rubbish sumer over here this year) as DP was in the trades industry and life was becoming increasingly tight over in the UK where as work has been easy to find for him here.

The cost of living I feel is quite expensive compared to the UK but the wages are also higher, renting isn't cheap and cars are very expensive!!

You need to research it like you wouldn't believe, even then you won't fully get how different it is until you actually get here, you need to look at all the visa options (they are getting stricter for Oz in June), as they all come with different benefits/drawbacks, for example on an 457 visa over here if you become unemployed you are expected to either find a job within 28 days or leave (which would be pretty rough with a young family), I didn't think I'd miss family etc but life is harder when they aren't in driving distance anymore, then there's medical insurance (medicare is included on some visas) all sorts of other things you just wouldn't think of.

Do I think it's worth it in the end though, No Worries Mate lol

I live in NZ I love it here and couldn't imagin living anywhere else :)

My DH and I emigrated to Aus in 2007 and although there are downsides, on balance, I think it is a fantastic place to live and raise a family.

It is quite expensive and we are fortunate that my DH works in a well paid industry, but we have also chosen to live on the outskirts of Sydney, and I don't have to work.

Upsides to Oz - lots and lots of free outdoorsy things to do, wonderful parks, great beaches, children's playgrounds and BBQs all over the place. I can get through a week barely spending if I choose as there are so many great free things to do.

The people are friendly, welcoming, kind and generous.

The scenery is stunning.

We are skating along ok in an economic sense. people aren't spending too much but there is v low unemployment still and plenty of jobs.

Downsides - it's a bloody long and expensive trip back to the UK.

Snakes and spiders, big ants, leeches, ticks etc. If this bothers you, it's not fab (although we live on the edge of the bush, never saw any of these when we lived closer in, and I kind of like the quasi danger of it!)

Things are expensive like houses and food but only if you come from the UK, you're used to it when you're here.

The other things that have been raised - we do have seasons, they play football here and the bushfire risk around Sydney (and around the majority of the major cities) is really low. And you just have a bushfire plan, it's no drama at all.

If watching/playing football is really important to you then I don't think it is a totally unreasonable concern. We all have different things that mean home.

We live in Canada and I am very happy here, just waiting for permanent residency to be (I hope) granted. I think it is unwise to think emigration is a good financial move - apart from those lucky people who get expat contracts or who are headhunted I think for most people it is an incredibly expensive thing to do. We certainly could have done a lot of other things with the money we spent (although we did end up doing two international moves in 6 months, so not typical).

I think that my children's quality of life has generally improved, but I suspect that we could almost certainly achieved the same result by moving somewhere rural in the UK, as most of the change for us has been about moving to a small town from a big city. Also my son would certainly have preferred to stay put, he found the move very hard (don't assume that children will automatically enjoy moving).

YABU... but if you're so negative about the UK, better you ship out

Oh and just for balance, my sister moved to Melbourne and is desperate to move back to London. I'm not sure how she's going to manage that with her Aussie husband, who hated living in London probably about as much. It is one thing to consider when moving abroad - what will you do if some of your family love it, but some hate it?

We moved to Oz 2 years ago and have never looked back. We were here for 4 years before moving back to Europe for 6 years with DH's job. We love it here and having those years back in northern Europe made us confident that we were making the right decision. I think if you do have an opportunity to try things out for a couple of years first before making a permanent commitment, it's worth a go.
We are a long way from family, however, that's a good thing in our case.

I am staying. Me and DD recently moved back to the UK from foreign parts. DH is joining us in July.
He was recently offered a good job in Singapore. I declined his kind invite. Me and DD are staying put. He is joining us in July.

Didn't you post this last week?

How good do you think your quality of life would be with 2 week's paid holiday a year?

Remember too that it's possible to move within the UK and find a slower pace of life, more outdoor space, cheaper houses etc. I think when it's your own country it's easy to assume you know everything about it and forget that there are a wealth of different places to live. DH and I moved from Ireland to the UK 3 years ago and I love it. We've bought a house at a fraction of what it would cost in Ireland, live in a nice quiet area and we can afford for me to be a SAHM. We have all the benefits of home (language, tv, food etc) with added fantastic added benefits such as the NHS, better cultural events, access to more universities (so more potential jobs for DH), and just a better organised society. I sometimes miss Ireland a bit but I don't think I'll ever want to go back. Native UKers think the UK is on its knees, but to me it's brilliant - I think it's all a matter of perspective!

Whether you'll do well abroad depends on you as a person rather than where you're going to. You have to be able to accept a different culture and to adapt to a new way of doing things. You need to be able to make new friends and to be ok with not seeing family/old friends for long periods of time. There are a lot of little frustrations associated with being in a new country - acres of paperwork, not knowing where important things are, not knowing how certain systems work etc, but if you can overcome those and start to feel at home then it can be great.

You need to research your countries, but you will find each does have its own issues. When i lived in Oz, nurses were grumbling/threatening strike action,general wages ok but paying for,health and decent education is not cheap. When I lived in Canada, same issue, fire fighters threatening strike action, folk grumbling about their government. Read local/national online newspapers, you will soon get the drift. It suits some, not others.

Being British is about riding the storm and coming through better for it. This country is bloomin brilliant, why do you think so many people want to come here? Count your blessings! Step one for a better quality of life for your DC - Get rid of their Grandparents? I wouldnt. My DDs adore their Granny and their cousins.

My DSs friend from South Africa says that we don't know how lucky we are in UK. We do tend to take things for granted-they are often far worse elsewhere.

OP whatever it is in your family that you're trying to "fix" will travel with you to your new home abroad.

Move for a great job offer, for love or because you like the sunshine, but don't expect life to magically better or different just because you're in a new country.

The struggles of trying to settle in, understand the health service, employment rules, immigration rules etc etc etc of a new country can far outweigh any nebulous benefits of a "better life"

I say that as a - very happy - expat

Proximity to family, especially grandparents, was the main thing that drew us back to the uk several years ago. We were very happy living overseas, and desperately miss many aspects of what we left behind. But family is very high on our list of priorities, and in my view, nothing can replace the amazing relationship that dd has with my mum and dad. She has brought so much joy to their lives in recent years, and she has got so much out of the relationship herself, I wouldn't want to swap that for anything in the world.

Do you know anything about these countries? I laugh everytime someone says they are moving to nz for a better future for the children. NZ has a population for 4mil and there are an estimated 1mil kiwis overseas. Does it sound like a great country your kids can stay and build a career? Maybe research about the nz brain drain problem first, instead of being seduced by the scenery. It is incredibly remote, more than you can imagine.

DH and I are both kiwis. DHs parents moved to NZ because they thought the UK was on it's knees. Now he's back here and they really wanted to move back but their house isn't worth enough for a move.

CailinDana and CupofBrownJoy make some very good points OP (and I've also lived overseas - four times in fact, in three different countries).

Go because you are going TO something, not to run away from something. Do massive amounts of research. Are you close to your families and used to seeing them/getting help from them on a regular basis? Are you flexible, adaptable people by nature? Be really honest with yourselves about this. I know it's hard if you've never lived abroad before, but it's NOT like being on holiday every day. The first couple of months you will feel like it is and then reality will hit and you might find you're actually feeling really depressed, alone and isolated. You will have to create a whole new life for yourselves - new friends, new support network, new colleagues, new everything. Do you think you could do that?

Just like to add that most of the expat kiwis are in Australia. So I'd definitely look there if you want to head down under.

And the person who talks about commute in NZ. I have less of a commute here than I had when I did my summer jobs back home. I lived in Auckland if that makes a difference. Travelling from Remuera to Glenfield took an hour each way everyday. And Remuera is central Auckland! I pity those who used to commute everyday to university from the eastern suburbs like Howick. (Auckland Uni is in central Auckland). It takes 1.5 hours each way easily. All of these are suburbs of Auckland btw. I don't think I've ever met anyone doing a cross Auckland commute (ie east to north or south to north).

BTW, it's all by car. You can't live reasonably in Auckland without a car. We had 4 cars for 4 of us, when my brother and I were at university. The good thing is the garden is large enough that all 4 cars are on our front driveway. And we still have a huge front garden left with 4 cars.

I think MN is going to add a new section. We can have "Living Overseas" and then "Not living overseas yet but hate the UK"

I actually don't think the OP's underlying reasons for wanting to leave (primarily economic ones) are bad ones - at least it's better than moving because you want to live somewhere with better weather or (ironically) fewer immigrants.

OP- if you want economic growth, come to SE Asia (jobs dependent obviously). We've got economic growth, beautiful beaches, lots of sunshine, tonnes of greenery, low taxes, friendly people and fantastic food. However, we've also got terrible pollution, no social welfare, astronomical rents in many large cities, not that much democracy, bad traffic and 100% humidity on days like today.

Someone said upthread "same shit, different bucket". I'd say it's more like different shit but there's still shit. You have to decide what you want.

Difficult to say without a clearer idea of exactly what your concerns are. If it's future employment, maybe stay here but get them learning languages so they have more flexibility in the future should they need to move abroad to find work. A fluent second language can sometimes open up more opportunities as well.

Surely the hideous commutes, lack of outdoor pursuits etc is just a London thing?

I live in Edinburgh and take a 20 min bus ride to work.

Loads of lifestyle options here in the UK if you want to quit the 'rat race'.