to think that parents shouldn't get involved in every little playground spat?

[lottielou39]

bit of background: my 9 year old daughter has a love/hate friendship with a girl in her class and has done since they were both 5.
Whenever they have a fallout, she always texts or phones me to discuss it. She's even phoned me at work before! It's always from the angle that her daughter is blameless and being picked on. This is bollocks because my daughter often comes home in tears because this girl has said or done mean things. Their issues always blow over within a day or two and then they play fine for weeks at a time; so for this reason, I don't get too involved in it.

It's playground stuff, which the girls resolve for themselves quite quickly. I'm not quite sure why this girls Mother believes her to be faultless. At a recent parents evening, I was told that my daughter is not involved in any of the friendship problems going on in the class. I know she's not perfect, (as no child is) and I also know that these spats blow over quickly, so I don't phone or text this girls Mother about it.

Tonight I've received another text, because they fell out in class again today, and this Mother wants to phone me for 'a chat'. I texted back to say I was busy and I'm sure they'll be friends again by weekend (which they will be).
AIBU?
Is it normal to get involved with every little detail of their lives and phone/text other parents when your child falls out with them?

YANBU
She sounds nuts!

She does sound ott

Maybe she's lonely and trying to engage you in a friendship you're not comfortable with

YANBU

Some parents micro manage every single detail of their kid's lives and then wonder why they can't manage alone when they get older.

No - not from my POV anyhow. I definitely don't interfere with all their disagreements and spats; not enough time in the day!

It's only ever happened to me once via facebook where another mother decided a comment I'd made was about her pfb.

This woman sounds rather insecure about her dd's friendships, and a tad clingy too.

YANBU

Oh god, she sounds a nightmare!!

YANBU. How weird.

YANBU.

Have a 9 year old daughter myself - one week she has a best buddie the next week a big fall out.

My mother was like this looking back and it did me no favours whatsoever,because she fell out with lots of neighbours over trivial kids stuff and told me not to play with them and their mums said the same.

Which is why i always leave them to it unless i really really have to get involved, which will be hopefully never!

She sounds mad, but you have to refuse to engage. If you keep responding to all her approaches she'll keep doing it.

YANBU Kids fall out and make up a few minutes later, it's part of growing up.

She's looney tunes.

You did exactly the right thing.

The only time I'd mention it would be if I happened to bump into mum, then it would be a smiley, eye-rolling 'what are they like!' conversation. If that.

I think you did the right thing. It never pays to get too involved.

We recently had a letter home from our school headteacher reminding parents not to tell off other people's children in the yard before school even starts! No wonder DS and I only show up a minute or two before the bell goes. It's the best way to avoid all the drama.

YANBU.
I will always remember coming out of a Church run youth group which I went to with my cousin, only to see said cousins DM there screaming at the bewildered parents of another boy.
For something laughably trivial.
All this took place outside the Church.
My Nan (the Aunt of the Lady in question) was HORRIFIED!

DD1's friend's mum is like this! DD1 and her friend are thirteen!! Yet still she phones me over every little thing. A few weekends ago both girls went off to a local sports centre for the morning, then went to Tescos afterwards. Whilst in Tescos the friend saw another girl from school and they ran off and left DD on her own. DD decided not to wait around for them (sensible decision IMO) and went to a friend's house who lived near the store, then phoned me and asked me if I'd collect her in a couple of hours' time.

During the couple of hours the mum of the girl DD had gone out with phoned me on the warpath as apparently DD had 'abandoned' her poor DD in Tesco and her DD was very upset. I pointed out that the girls are 13 now, not 5 and perhaps it was time she stopped getting so involved and that they get along fine, with no real need for adult involvement. She didn't take it well but to be honest I don't really care.

OP, YANBU at all.

Also parents who view things in the vein of 'my child can do no wrong' really piss me off. Have come across a fair few of those in my time and they generally have a skin thicker than a rhinos where their precious little angelic darlings are concerned.

well, after getting another annoyed text from her, I was far too curious to know what the flying fuck was wrong this time. Usual shit. And I admit that I did actually raise my voice and put her in her place. I was actually shaking a little with pissed offedness!

Hexagonal HA! That nasty trick backfired on the girl and she learned a lesson. Well done your DD... have to sy that at that age, I would have gone running after my friend....not such a good response!

OP...yanbu...it's a pain, my DD is only 7 and has begun at a new school...she has some issues with a new friend but I know the child is a good girl...and they will sort it all out in the end which they appear to do...they make up very quickly.

We have a mum who has been keeping a diary of everything every child says! Unfortnately her child has missed out what the catalyst has started it and is getting everyone's backs up.