For the past 2 years or so, I've had a chronic illness which became far worse in the last 6 months and has been causing me a lot of pain.
Having just about survived a work day, I'd be in my pyjamas by 6 and generally shaky and in pain.
I finally had surgery to sort it out 2 weeks ago, and so now I'm suffering from post surgery pain (but hopefully, once that clears, I'll be better!)
My issue comes with my DP and his attitude towards sex. He's been really irritated with me for not being 'up for it' constantly, and frequently being too tired or in too much pain. He wants me to take the lead more often, but I can honestly say horniness is not a side effect of nerve blockers and codeine. And bouncing around is like torture. We're not not having sex, just less frequently. Maybe twice a week, sometimes once.
Last night, we went to the pub with some friends and had a few drinks. I started feeling rough so had to take more codeine (not meant to mix with alcohol, I know).
When we got home, he wanted to have sex. I said ok but asked him to keep the light on as my world was spinning due to codeine + alcohol. I also tend to hallucinate... He got all upset at me because I wasn't making much effort, but I felt more like a rag doll than a nymph!
To add to this, a few month ago he told me he probably wouldn't want to be with me if there was no sex in our relationship. The comment seemed a bit out of the blue and hurt quite a lot. When he tried to clarify, he explained that he meant if it were years between sexual encounters. I said that I wouldn't want that either, but that seeing as it's not the case then why say it?
All in all, I feel under pressure to have sex more frequently than I'd want, and even if I do agree (but am not necessarily ripping-clothes horny) then it's still not enough.
Phew- rant over!