To suggest they complain to school instead of me

[JamieOliveOil]

I was recently appointed Chair of our school's PTA and have been on the committee for a few years.

Until recently, the termly meetings have generally been to do with forthcoming fundraising ideas and requests for funding by the school, that sort of thing.

However, the last two or three meetings have ended up being a bit forum for parents to bitch about things going on at school.

As the Chair, I was asked to put certain complaints in writing to school which I duly did. I fed back the response I received from school and was then asked to go back and complain about a new list of moans.

AIBU to get them to make their own independent complaints to school rather than me putting it in writing and potentially getting a reputation within school of being a general moaner and busybody?

Don't get me wrong, school isn't perfect but if I have a problem I deal with it direct with the school rather than discussing with other people.

Do things like this get discussed at other people's PTA meeting or is it just ours? Should I suggest that parents form a separate parent's group to deal with issues to do with school or would that be causing trouble?

I'm not sure, but I would imagine that the PTA is there so that parents can discuss their concerns with the school?

Although its unreasonable to expect you to go into bat over individual issues, I don't think it is unreasonable for you to pass their concerns on?

YANBU.

Take a copy of your 'rules of engagement' - can't remember what the official title is - to the next meeting and use that as a basis to keep the meeting on the right track.

We have a separate Parent's Council which deals with such issues which is very separate from the PTA.

It works very well actually and is mostly concerned with admin type stuff but saves the Head getting 25 emails about the same subject.

Thanks for the replies. The lists consist of complaints regarding school lunches, times of lunchtimes, school website, building work at school, lack of homework in some classes. It goes on and on. Even when they are given an answer it's not good enough.

I don't believe that PTA should be a forum for parents to moan.

mrscampbellblack Is the Parents Council at secondary or primary school? Sounds good.

PTA (or PA) is usually a vehicle for fundraising and support.

UNLESS! there is something eg poor playground equipment - the PTA would collect those complaints and galvinise into action to fundraise for a new equipment.

It is not a vehicle to moan about the actual running of the school, school procedures, disciplines etc.

Its at primary and works very well for sorting out all those sorts of issues.

One parent from each year collates issues from their year group and there are twice termly meetings with the head/deputy head.

And things really do get resolved - and stuff like lost property/lunches/parking are pretty minor but can cause a lot of annoyance.

I think there is often a misunderstanding about the function of a PTA and it's a bugbear of mine as I see it on here so many times.

afaik a PTA is a fund raising body and has nothing to do with the running of the school.

Complaints should be raised with teacher/HT and as a last resort the governors.

I've been a school governor and wouldn't have expected the chair of the PTA to be getting involved in any of the things you've mentioned.

When I was on the PA this sort of thing used to start up and we'd shut the discussion down immediately. If members were particularly persistent we'd tell them they could start their own group up eg. School dinners complaints group - needless to say this didn't happen as the whiners just wanted someone else to do their dirty work for them

OP YANBU

Yanbu dont you have a school Board that does all the complaints the PTA shouldnt be doing this IMO and its not fair if you need to work with the school on fundraising stuff you need to have a good relationship with them , tell the moaners to moan themselves or go to the school board/govenors to moan ,

I dont know why people would do this! OP just tell them BEFORE they start up...say "I'm flattered so many have asked me to voice complaints and make suggestions to school but I feel it's taking our energy away from what we're best at doing."

Cheeky beggars.

Yes the Acting Deputy Head attended the most recent meeting but wasn't useful at all. Thing is, there are lots of changes going on at school at the moment and many of the issues raised are perfectly viable but I simply feel that a PTA meeting is not the place to vent!

I think a Parent Council is a great idea but wonder if suggesting forming one would be seen as stirring the pot.

Ours came about from a parent's suggestion.

To be honest I think the school like it as it allows parents to think they're making decisions/involved in stuff but in reality its all quite small stuff.

So they basically handle us how we handle naughty toddlers

I am a chair of a secondary school and have been of a primary.....we are there to fundraise, not pass on complaints.
Parents have access to an email address for us...if they feel they want to contact us rather than the school for some reason, that's ok, but no one really has.
I like Pta meetings to be over and done with quickly, then I can go home and have a drink.

Right, that's it, no more complaints! Will make it clear at the next meeting that people need to contact the school direct.

Definitely no more complaints. The role of the PTA is to fundraise for the school. If parents have concerns about the way the school is run then they need to take them direct to the headteacher. The PTA is not a forum for disgruntled parents.

PTA's official role is for fundraising. When you get any group of parents together there's likely to be a bit of gossip and bitching debate about the running of the school, but this is not official PTA business.

I would definitely not represent other people's issues to the school - you're the chair of the PTA not the shop steward. You need to rehearse some assertive phrases.

YANBU. Our PTA is for fundraising and things like that. It's never for complaints about the school. What a miserable job that must be for you!

Is there a parent governor on the PTA? If so, I'd point moaners in that direction. It's part of the governor's role and not part of yours plus the governor might have an explanation for some of the things people gripe about which can lead to a resolution faster.

At my school we have the Parents' Association for fundraising, socials, planning nice treats for the girls (we are a girls' prep school), helping out at Sports Day and nice things like that.

We have a completely separate Form Reps group that meets termly with the Headmistress and Deputy Head to address all those school-wide sorts of issues (menu, uniform, homework, clubs, trips, etc). This one can get quite heated!

Any individual cases of course go directly to the form teachers or the Headmistress (concern about a girl's reading level, say, or a bullying incident).

OP it is totally unfair for those other pushy mums to expect you to fight your battles for them. Good luck in standing up for your rights and I hope your parents' association turns back into the fun and rewarding job it is meant to be.

We have a parent forum.

www.waterortonprimarysch.moonfruit.com/#/parent-forum/4533948487

This isnt my school but gives an idea as to what it is

yanbu. We had a parent forum for a while but it petered out.

Thank you for the responses. myBoys I will have a look at that parent forum.

mystery we had two Governors at the most recent meeting as well as the new Deputy Head. Many of the questions were answered by one of the Governors but people kept firing more at her. The next day the Governor (who is a good friend) said she felt attacked and that a PTA meeting wasn't really the place to bring up school complaints. I wholeheartedly agreed but felt that as Chair it was very difficult for me to manage the meeting with people so fired up.

My friend is going to speak to the Chair of Governors and suggest having an open meeting for people to come along and raise any concerns. The thing is, as I may have said above, there have been lots of changes at School in the last few months and the school have been really poor at communicating important information to parents. I think this is why people were frustrated and have been using PTA meetings to voice their many concerns.

Thanks for your advice. I will email everyone with the agenda prior to the next meeting and point out that we will be keeping to the agenda and usual business and suggest that they take up any concerns with school to the Head or Governors.