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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think supermarket charity collectors should be banned

93 replies

ohtobemoanproof · 04/03/2012 09:03

I was in tesco yesterday, feeling ill, getting a BIG shop for my family of 4 boys (dh included) and my mind was occupied (lots going on and racing to another kids party deadline ) as I pushed the heavy trolley of groceries from the till through the usually busy part between when you checkout and leave the building. Some magnificent trolley manouvering is usually required.
I spotted an old bloke sitting at the side, holding a charity bucket unenthusiastically. As I passed, he muttered something about whatever charity it was. I passed by with a quick, sorry. I am a card only gal.

Then, he said quite clearly.."yeah, thanks for nothing". I was a bit shocked.
I really dont think people should be accosted by charity collectors, big issue sellers, electric and gas or phone companies or rac at the supermarket.

AIBU in just wanting to be left alone to shop.?

OP posts:
sixlostmonkeys · 04/03/2012 12:04

YANBU. I have been saying it for years.

I always smile and say no thanks, but even if they don't actually say something nasty to you a lot of the time you a get a loud sarcastic 'have a nice day'

there is a time and a place for everything. Irritating me when I'm trying to shop is neither.

LackaDAISYcal · 04/03/2012 12:10

YABU; would you really have been bothered if you hadn't been having what sounds like a bad day? Maybe he had been having a bad day as well? Is he not allowed that as an excuse? And were yoy really as polite as you might otherwise have been in the absence of a bad day? I've done tin collecting in supermarkets, so have a bit of empathy for someone trying to do their bit in the face of today too busy, harassed and often quite rude, shoppers.

And imo, chuggers have done more harm than good to the general public's perception of charity collectors.

And the bag packers? I usually refuse help with packing but stick some loose change in their bucket.

Southwest · 04/03/2012 12:19

Chiggers should be banned ( but if I read this correctly he wasn't one)

I just laughed at the one who shouted after me down the street 'don't you care about children then' as I dragged my 3 into the local supermarket!!

Southwest · 04/03/2012 12:19

Chuggers sorry it's that autocorrect thing I didn't notice what it had done

vogonmothership · 04/03/2012 12:34

YABU
Yesterday I stood quietly but smiley in a corner of the foyer of our Asda holding a tray of daffodils for Marie Curie.
I didn't make eye contact with anyone to make them feel guilty. People came over to me voluntarily. I wore an embarassing neon tabard for two hours. I said a huge thank you to children with a few pennies and could have kissed the lady who gave me a ten pound note. I shed more than one tear at some of the stories people shared with me.
Marie Curie eased my Dad's pain last September before he died in a hospice. It's my way of saying thank you.
I collected over £110 in small change, this will fund 5 hours of Marie Curie nursing.

That man was rude and it sounds like a little bit may have rubbed off on you.

Nellabutterfly · 04/03/2012 12:34

I actually don't have a problem with bag packers - I usually stack my shopping on the conveyor belt in the order I want to pack it anyway, and hand them my own bags to use. They always ask as well IME.

Tin-rattlers on the other hand, I find pretty irritating (and whether they're allowed to or not, they do rattle their tins!). I don't always have change on me when I'm doing a big shop as I use my card to pay for it anyway. And as for chuggers, don't even get me started! Angry

igggi · 04/03/2012 12:38

Yabu. And if he said that, he was being rude. Otoh, he was giving up his time voluntarily to collect for the charity - and he is likely to either have whatever the charity was about himself, or have a relative with it.
Funny how we manage to keep change for trolleys, but not something to give to charity.

LizzieChickens · 04/03/2012 12:39

My Mum has Parkinson's and was doing some collecting at a garden centre. She found it very amusing that they're not allowed to shake the tins. "How am I supposed to stop myself shaking?" Grin

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 04/03/2012 12:43

YABU that they should all be banned, but I think you ought to tell Tesco and/or the charity about this particular person. It doesn't make the store or the charity look good.

baboos · 04/03/2012 13:00

YABU to want them banned, if he was rude report him to the manager...

Quite why you felt the need to labour the fact that your trolley was full and you felt ill begs the question of why you even bothered to go in the first place, and it's hardly the charity collectors fault that you did.

TheMonster · 04/03/2012 13:01

Igggi, I have a trolley token so I don't need change.

M0naLisa · 04/03/2012 13:02

He was probably annoyed because he gets 25%-50% of what he makes that day!!!!

ILoveDinosaurs · 04/03/2012 13:11

Its is actually illegal for chuggers to rattle their buckets or ask for money. I wish they would actually enforce it as its the old emotional blackmail trick.

If you get a rude remark like that you should complain to the store manager at the very least.

I was really annoyed at group of charity bag packers the other week. A group of them were stood behind the tills getting in the way of everyone chatting. I'd gone to get a box to pack shopping in (I loathe disposal bags and we'd forgotten our reuseable ones) and tripped over them twice without so much of an apology.

They then tried to accost us to get them to help with our packing. Into box. We politely said no thanks. He then said, "Are you sure?". I very nearly exploded and said of course I'm fucking sure.

So yeah, ban them annoying fuckers too.

laptopdancer · 04/03/2012 13:12

Oooh I hate those charity collectors.We always hve at least 3 lined up, poised for the attack. I feel quite stressed everytie I go past them.
Dont diss the big issue sellers though. The one at our local morrison's is a veritable piece of the furniture. Everyone loves him.

ilovesooty · 04/03/2012 13:30

He was probably annoyed because he gets 25%-50% of what he makes that day!!!!

What on earth makes you think that?

The man was rude, but YABU to want all (casH) collecters banned. Ghuggers are another matter.

I think some of you are pretty miserable about bag packers. The charity I volunteer for does them. All our volunteers are mature adults, who are polite and their services are well received. They give up hours of their own time to volunteer, not just for bag packing but to counsel, sit on committees and do training. Without the bag packing to supplement our income we wouldn't be able to offer the range of free support to the bereaved in our city that we currently do.

Mrsjay · 04/03/2012 13:33

what is a chugger just out of interest ?

the man probably didnt get paid for his time , Its normally the sign up for a charity direct debits that get paid ,

sportsfanatic · 04/03/2012 13:46

I collect for a charity I am not a chugger. I am a volunteer. Sometimes I will stand for hours at a time until the knees 'go'. I do not block entrances and often stand outside in the rain and cold. I do not shake my bucket (not allowed) I do not say the charity's name to people (that would be hassling). I simply stand there. All my fellow volunteers follow the same code.

I am lucky enough for my charity to be a much valued one so rarely to do I get a rude remark. If I do, I take no notice and put it down to ignorance (though I may secretly think to myself 'hope you never need us in an emergency love"). Grin

I do not mind if people 'look through me' or if people ignore me.

However, many more choose to come up to me and put their change in my bucket, sometimes even a note. They will stop to chat, to ask about my charity and never a time goes past when someone doesn't say "I was rescued by..." or "one of my family was"... or "you never know when you might need it". In the main people are generous and it lifts the spirit to know there are so many kindly people around even in these hard times.

OP - if that collector was rude to you are quite within your right to report him as he is not a good representative of his charity. Or you could just think that maybe he was cold or fed up having just had a rude remark from someone and let it go...... Smile

TiggyD · 04/03/2012 13:56

Walkers, farmers, drivers, fishermen/fisherettes, sponge divers, vicars, men, women, charity collectors, etc.
All groups of people are going to have some people in them that are not very nice. (Apart from the Welsh, who are all lovely. Every single one). Don't let the not nice ones affect your view of the whole group.

jenfraggle · 04/03/2012 14:09

YABU

We do bag packing as it is a good way of raising funds. We make it very clear to the girls before we start that they must be polite, always ask first if it is ok to pack the bag and if it isn't wanted then stand back away from the till to avoid getting in the way. Also we speak to them about how to pack, i.e. heavy items at the bottom, frozen items together etc to try and make sure it is as convenient as possible for the shoppers. Any girl that mucks around will get taken off a till and spoken to about it before we decide whether to let them back on again.

We do the bag packing rather than just stand there with a bucket as we feel then at least we are doing something for it rather than just standing expecting people to give us money.

TidyDancer · 04/03/2012 14:23

Chuggers are a different breed to charity collecters. They are charity muggers, robbing you by their persistance. I hate them.

Charity collectors, however, I will willing give to.

ILoveDinosaurs · 04/03/2012 14:29

Bag packers are allowed to harass. Someone with a bucket isn't. Hence why I think they are worse and can't bare them. I'm yet to meet one who hasn't got in the bloody way either.

ilovesooty · 04/03/2012 14:34

Bag packers are allowed to harass. Someone with a bucket isn't

How do you come to that conclusion, and how are you defining harassment? It sounds as though you think the very act of someone asking if you'd like help packing is harassment.

Thankfully the people our charity comes into contact with are less hostile than you appear to be.

RuleBritannia · 04/03/2012 14:39

ILoveSooty

I read somewhere else that 'chuggers' receive a percentage of their takings but not as a salary just as a sort of commission. So what people give does not all go to the charity. Just like those charity plastic bags that we have put through our letter boxes. The tiny print at the bottom says that it's a commercial company collecting the bagged goods and the charity receives something like £50 per tonne of clothes. How many bags will make a tonne? Dozens and dozens. In other words the charities receive B all.

ILoveDinosaurs · 04/03/2012 14:45

Bucket holders are not allowed to ask for money, shake bucket, to say the name of their charity or otherwise approach people as its considered harassing people...

...this does not appear to apply to bag packers.

It should.

ilovesooty · 04/03/2012 14:45

RuleBritannia I imagine you're right about chuggers, but I doubt the collector with a bucket collecting cash receives anything. That was the point I was making.