My first AIBU - but I need to know!

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

DH is going out today for a thing to do with his hobby. He is also taking DS1 while I stay at home with DS2.

So far DH has pratted about on the PC and spent 45 minutes hiding in the bathroom with a copy of TopGear magazine. He is going to be late for his day now, and is clearly expecting me to start flapping round helping him get out the door.

AIBU to stay in bed with my cuppa - admittedly made by DH - and leave him to sort himself and DS1 out?

Is he your child? No. There's your answer. Enjoy your lie in.

Stay in bed

YANBU. Let him be late, stop enabling him (to use a MN phrase)

Oh go on, help him out

If your husband is 10 or under YABU, but then you're also a criminal.

If your husband is in fact an adult, YANBU.

If he asks you to help him find something specific (wellies etc) and you think it would help DS1 have a fun day, then I would help your DH.

But it sounds like DH could have got himself and DS1 ready sooner, so YANBU to want to enjoy your cup of tea in peace!

Assuming he doesn't have some kind of bowel/bladder disorder that has had him trapped on the toilet then you'd not be unreasonable to leave him to it. That said, how much will your ds1 miss out if you don't help.

Stay in bed - if you run around after him now, you will always have to do it, because he will sit on his arse and expect you to bail him out every time.

Presumably you manage to get yourself ready when you go out - I'm sure he can manage the same for himself.

YANBU but I would probably start communicating now and say something to him like " Thanks fo rmy tea and my lie in. Are you going to be alright getting you and DS1 ready in time?" If he says no, he needs help then maybe explain how you are valuing your lie in (I presume you don't get many!) and maybe offer for him to have a lie in one day next weekend.

Why should she start asking if he's going to be ready on time?

That's just another way of infantilising (sp?) and enabling.

Would he ask her if she was going to get on time if she was the one going out?

I honestly can't stand this babying of men. I do not get it. At all.

Stay in bed! Let him learn time management the hard way.

It's infuriating. Either stay in bed and ignore it completely or just remind him what the time is (in a pleasant way) and say 'hadn't you better get a move on. Then subtly make sure he had drink, coat, snack, whatever for your elder DS before they leave.

My DH always chooses the point we are about to leave the house to take a massive slow shit.

I have taken the baby downstairs and got both boys started with breakfast which I would normally do. And now I'm back upstairs and going to have a shower.
I am going to leave him to it.

He used to be really good, but has recently started a new job with longer hours and so isn't involved in the day to day stuff during the week.
I must start as I mean to go on though, otherwise he will become like my Dad is and was, and I will become a resentful martyr like my mother!!