Is DD BU or am I?

[wantingmore]

DD1 (11) is having 2 friends over tomorrow night for a sleepover for her birthday.
I told her that they would be having the beds and she would be on the floor (we only have a 2 bedroom flat so dd1 & dd2 share a room and have bunkbeds. dd2 wont be here. so thats why only 2 beds) she said that wasnt fair as whenever she has slept at a friends they have had the bed and she has been on the floor.
I told her that it is polite that when you have guests they have the bed. that is how i have been brought up. also it is only one night its not going to kill her.
so AIBU or is DD?

I leave DD and her friends to it. When I go in to check on them, I climb over the sweet wrappers and they are either all in one bed, or all on the floor.

My friends and I always had a policy of giving the guest the bed (but that was many several years ago.

)

I never gave up my bed during a bedroom sleepover, can't remember ever sleeping in someone else's bed either.

It's not up to you to decide, it's your DD's bed. They can figure it out themselves anyway.

You do realise there won't be much sleeping going on regardless of arrangements, don't you? It's all junk food and giggles!

TidyDancer You do realise there won't be much sleeping going on regardless of arrangements, don't you?
yes i do that is exactly why i think she should do it

You think she should give up her bed so that no one can sleep in it?

TidyDancer no when did i say that. i think she should give it up for her friend and as they wont be sleeping for alot of hours so she wont be out of it for that long.

You said that above. I said did you realise there wouldn't be much sleeping going on, and you said that was why you wanted her to give it up. Maybe that came across differently than you meant it....oh well.

It's your DD's bed. Just let her sleep in it if she wants to. I sincerely doubt her friends will care anyway.

You would think that the guest would get the bed, but that doesn't seem to be the way it happens in most houses afaik. Perhaps it's because you have to wash all the bed linen after a guest and it's easier to make/unmake a blow-up bed or similar.

YANBU but do a blw up bed and let them sort themselves out just make sure your dd doesnt go all bosey with her friends IYSWIM let them go to bed close the door and let them be ,

Mine are 14 & 8 now, and between them have had many sleepovers!

General rule of thumb, when they have both been away on sleepovers, and when friends have stayed over, is that visiting children have an air mattress, pull out bed, sleep top to toe, bedroll and sleeping bag etc. This isn't just me - it seems to be a generally accepted thing -dunno why! The kids love it however, and at that age, alternative kipping arrangements are actually more exciting than a bed - plus they move around.

But in the general scheme of things, sleeping aside, the guest generally gets first choice in terms of choosing games, what to have for tea etc (if there is a choice for tea), and I encourage the boys to consider their guest first.

The 14 years olds sort themselves out however...

I suggest top to toe on bottom bunk. I can see from everyone's point of view here, when I was little top to toe was a normal thing to do. As others have suggested, it would be a good idea to let the girls sort it out themselves.

As an aside, when I was a student, whenever my mum visited me she made me sleep on the floor while she had my bed, in student digs ffs! Everybody else's parents got a hotel room when visiting. So my mum got to experience first hand the delights on my flatmates coming home at 4am with random men, the fire alarms being maliciously set off in the small hours, etc.

other poster's idea about mattresses except in the living room if there's room there perhaps?

One of the best things about going to a sleep over was getting to 'camp out'. Sleeping on the floor, our couch cushions etc was part of the fun.

I can just imagine the conversation when sleepoverguest returns home;

"Well, I had a lovely time at wantingmore'sDD's house, but really, I was flabbergasted she didn't offer me her bed...where are people's manners these days?"

The girls will sort it out amongst themselves, I always did top and tail when staying at my friends houses.