AIBU to ask ....

[ItsOnlyAQuestion]

Do overweight/fat parents tend to have overweight/fat children?

I am 25 stones and my DS is slim. I often get asked, if he is my biological child!

I think Matthew Wright is just about to tell us

I have just watched this question being asked on the Matthew Wright show, I do not work for the programme/I'm not a journo etc

I watched a program a few months ago about this.

Apparently size has nothing to do with genetics- simply what you eat and how active you are effects it.

Rude to receive comments like that though!

I don't know, but looking around generally, I'd say yes. Iknow a family who are all pretty much barrel shaped, and another who are all like whippets.

Iguess if the parent over eats it's likely that they'll over feedl their children, and vice versa.

On the other hand, a parent who is conscious that being overweight is very bad for them will hopefully be extra careful with their child.

What were you like as a child, OP?

It depends on why the parent is overweight and how long they have been overweight.

Bad eating habits are inherited, as is lifestyle.

You are being asked because of a negative stereotypical view of overweight people. However you sound as though you are obese, rather than overweight?

Obesity carries more stigma.

As a general rule, yes, but of course there's always exceptions.

That's a bit rude of people!

Nevertheless I think people are under the impression that overweight people have overweight children (I say under the impression because I cannot guarantee this scientifically)

Personally I believe that if your parent is overweight your child may have a higher likelihood to be overweight. But it depends very much on your reason for being overweight; if it purely through diet (overeating and poor rather than healthy food) then the parent is more likely to feed their child over sized and unhealthy portions. However, there are many parents who are overweight for other reasons (health, unfairness etc.) and that is different entirely. There's also genetics that if you are naturally big boned so your child might be. But none of these guarantee the shape of you child - just like a slim parent may have a larger child.

That said, and I have no idea whether I am in the wrong and ready to be corrected but I would never question your biological link to your son. Highly rude and unfair.

Do you really get asked if your child is biologically yours though?

Really?

And often?

Yes, i genuinley do get asked this question, not everyday but quite a few times since my DS birth, thirteen years ago. His Father is naturally very slim and I always make sure my DS eats healthily, five portions at least per day of vegetables etc.

His food is easy to control as he is disabled. I just need to discipline what crap goes in my gob :(

I don't agree that there isn't a genetic factor in being thin, for some people.

My DH could and did eat anything and everything but didn't put on weight. My eldest DD takes after him, she is struggling toput on weight so that she can donate blood etc, she's feels bad about her size.

I know of a few people who are genuinely struggling to maintain their weight.

Bad eating habits and lifestyle are nurture, not nature.

You don't see overweight animals in their own habitat - its the same principle for humans.

People are different shapes for sure, but no one is naturally overweight.

Still think its rude to receive comments about whether he is your child though!

As a child I was a little overweight. My parents were slim and my DS was a whippet. I've always overate, it is how I control my emotions,

I find it very hard to believe that there is no genetic factor involved anywhere.

I don't think that can completly explain it though, and I do believe that if you use more calories than you eat, you won't end up fat. Except in cases where people are on medication.

I think there are probably parents who just have big appetites and so think their children need more food than they really do.

My friend who is very overweight couldn't believe it the first time she came over to my house and saw the portions I was giving my dc for their dinner. She said her Mother would never have given her that little on her plate, and her Mum used to insist they finished what they were given. She is one of five children and they are all overweight, and really struggle to lose weight when they want to. I think there must be a genetic factor involved, but I also think that they were trained from an early age to eat a lot, and to feel like they couldn't stop when they were full. I think that probably has more to do with it than genetics.

My DM cooked from scratch everyday. We ate at least five portions of vegetables everyday. We had one packet of biscuits between four people, per week. I did get given pocket money from genorous relatives and I did eat sweets in secret.

My friend who is very overweight couldn't believe it the first time she came over to my house and saw the portions I was giving my dc for their dinner

See my friend was exactly the same and she's always struggled with her own weight...just as all her family did when she was growing up. The entire family would have huge portions of breakfast, lunch and dinner on their plates and often seconds too.

When she lived with her MIL for a few months, she couldn't believe how 'little' they ate and would often complain they only had 3 or 4 roast potatoes at Sunday dinner and she thought it odd because she'd been brought up with her plate piled high.

When she had her daughter, I'm sure she thought I was positively starving my kids because their portion sizes were probably half of what she fed hers and she'd often say how OTT she thought her sister was for watching her kids weights.

Her DD is 20yrs old now and extremely overweight...unlike her cousins who are all slim. So in this case, yes it was very much to do with bad habits and not being able to recognise a 'normal' portion size.

I too can't believe there is nothing Genetic going on at all, I am losing weight through pious dieting and exercising- but it is hard! DD is 16months now and it's only since she turned a year I have had much success. (1.5 stone so far). BF was back in her size 6s a week after giving birth and list so much weight bfing that size 4 skinnys were hanging off her. I have bf'd twice and never list a lb until I stop bfing eat 1200 calories a day (more on exercise days), I've plateaued doing that now. BF also drinks pints and eats biscuits..... I gain weight very easily, DP eats what he likes and can't get above 10 stone

I don't know. I know that some people have very quick metabolisms and can basically eat as much as they like and not put on weight. I'd guess that could be genetic, particuarly as usually at least one of the parents is similar.

It's perhaps more of "livestyle is catching" in a lot of cases. So if you think it's normal to eat 3 donuts as a snack every day because your parents do, then you're more likely to do it. If your parents go running regularly then you're probably more likely to join them running etc.

Forgot to answer, my DC are skinny Minnie's....

I am overweight and DD (2.6) is underweight and we are seeing a dietician. I was the same at her age and in my case my weight is linked to my CFS as I cannot exercise as much as I need to and I comfort eat when in a crash.

Bloody I phone, I sound like the policeman from Allo Allo

Dh and I are both over weight. I am very careful not to pass our issues onto the dds. They are both very slim and active and have healthy, varied diet. I never push them to finish their plate if they say they are full. They are encouraged to play out in the park, climb trees, play football, are taken swimming and ice skating often etc.

I have been asked if dd1 is ours but she is not DH's biologoical child and looks nothing like the rest of us. No-one ever asks about dd2, it is very obvious that she is DH's child.

I was also asked by a disabled team SW if I was feeding my childenough food as he is so slim and I'm quite the opposite. I was asked to keep a food diary for him!! He has steadily gained in weight but very slowly as he is very active, I think he burns the calories off quite quickly.

Lots of prejudice I've had about this aspect of our being. :(

DH and I could do with losing some weight..and indeed we are, but DD is extremely slim. She eats only when hungry (which is often) and is super active.

I think generally (from looking around me) if children of overweight parents are going to be overweight themselves, the signs aren't normally there until they're about 4 or 5yrs old.

Often at that age, if the kids are overweight the parents will put it down to 'puppy fat' and assume they'll grow into their weight.

But with children having less and less active lifestyles...like not being allowed to play out, being driven to school, parents not realising exactly how much exercise a child needs...often that 'puppy fat' doesn't disappear and the child will steadily gain weight on top of it.

DialsMavis laughing at the sounding like the Allo Allo police man gag.