AIBU to wear my wedding ring?

[andpourmeout]

This probably gives too much away so will namechange after this (probably)

I don't believe IABU just that my DMum is an interfering old bag (said with affection obviously - partly) but maybe I am too close too it to see if I truly ABU

I got married very young (3 days after my 18th) and we had 3 DCs in quick succession.
My DH had CF, which is why we married and had DCs young (in itself a feet)
He died at the age of 39.

His wedding ring is tucked away safely awaiting the day that our eldest DS will wear it.
I still wear my wedding and engagement ring.

My DH died now 5 years ago.
As far as I am concerned I put those rings on at 18 and they aren't coming off.

Now maybe perhaps possibly in the future if I meet someone I may change my view but right now and for the forceable future they are staying on my finger.

My DMum has declared that it has been 'long enough' and that it is time for me to 'move on' and that 'no man will look at me with those things on my finger' and the icing on the cake 'you aren't married anymore so it is disrespectful to wear a wedding ring when you aren't even married' and 'it was wrong for you and DH to have DCs when you knew he was going to die, you shouldn't remind them of that by wearing those rings'

Ignoring some of her more barmy (but no less hurtful) things.
Do you find it odd that I still wear my wedding ring and AIBU to continue to wear it?

How you want to remember your late husband is your business, not hers. No doubt she's just worried for you and hoping that eventually you might find happiness with someone new, but to push you to take off such an important symbol of the time you did have together when you don't want to is more than a little tactless.

If she's capable of being this tactless to you my guess is she has the skin of a rhino herself? If so tell her straight out that the ring means a lot to you and you're bloody well going to wear it if you want so please stop banging on about it as it's annoying you.

I don't think it's odd at all, and certainly isn't 'disrespectful' (to whom? ) to keep wearing your rings after your husband has passed away.

Yes maybe someday you will feel differently, but it's entirely your choice if/when you want to take off your rings, 'move on', think about meeting someone else etc etc. Try to ignore the nasty comments, and don't for a moment imagine your mum's views are normal or typical in any way!

YANBU but your mother is.

I'm very sorry about your husband.

Not at all revolting

Oh yes she definatly has the skin of 5 rhinos.

sparkle maybe, usually I ignore her but this time....

My father married for the third time late in life. His third wife was very happily married and widowed in her late 60s. They loved each other very much. She never removed her first wedding ring - when she married my father she got a second ring and added it to her finger and wore them together.

Vince Cable apparently wears two wedding rings. His first wife died and when he married again he had another ring but didn't remove the first one. I thought it was a lovely thing to do.

The OP's mother clearly attended the same charm school as my MIL.

Yanbu. your mum is bvu. wear the ring as long as you want to. As some others have mentioned, some.people never remove them. if you do, it should be when you're ready, and not a moment sooner.

Sorry for your loss.

Wear them as long as you want. My mum still wears hers 13 years later.

"She never removed her first wedding ring - when she married my father she got a second ring and added it to her finger and wore them together."

That's exactly what MIL did.