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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

.. to think a mum is an idiot for putting her DD into a failing school?

79 replies

Pusheed · 01/03/2012 16:03

At the start of Year 6 DC came home one day and said that x's mum was putting her down for a secondary school that was officially classed as 'Failing'.

At the next school gate huddle I made it my business to ask the mum why that school? Her reason? A close friend's daughter went there so the mum thought it would be cool if the daughters could go to school together.

Well, we bumped into the mum a few days ago for the first time since the summer and she was telling us how she is trying to get her daughter transferred coz vandalism was rife at the school, kids would be f-ing swearing at the teachers etc.

I nodded my head understandingly and churned out the usual supportive comments but inside I thought - what an idiot. The school was/is a joke to the local community yet she chose to send her daughter there coz a friend was at the school???

OP posts:
marfisa · 01/03/2012 18:54

I agree with what other people have said about how you need to know the inside story on the school, not just the label "failing school". My DS' school was put into special measures last year and it was the best possible thing that could have happened. It was the only way to change the school's management. Now the school has a new headteacher, the teachers are as good as they always were but are now getting the proper support, and the school is heading onwards and upwards. I am very happy to have my DS there.

The school has just come out of special measures. But if an acquaintance last year had criticised me for putting my child in a failing school, I would have been rather cross.

diabolo · 01/03/2012 19:00

Some MNers often comment on threads about Independent Ed, without their kids being independently educated I believe?

So why shouldn't this poster have an opinion (whether you agree with it or not?) when posters here regularly comment about a form of education they do not use?

Or is there something going on here that I just don't get? Confused/

serin · 01/03/2012 19:03

Well get this OP!

My DS has the option of a very posh private school (free place no less!)

A high achieving faith school.

Or the bog standard comp down the road.

We let him choose and guess what? he is going to the local comp.

You know bugger all and I pity your children. I hope they grow up to realise that academic achievement is not everything.

TidyDancer · 01/03/2012 19:05

Oh well, it's none of your business. It's very mean and intrusive to judge someone on a choice that was probably right for them at the time.

School gate 'huddles' make me want to cringe. As does the use of 'indie' in describing a school.

NoMoreInsomnia12 · 01/03/2012 19:24

When my daughter started at her school it was "Good with outstanding features". On a recent Ofsted report it has dropped to "satisfactory". However, to my eyes nothing had particularly changed in two years, whereas the Ofsted inspection system has - go figure.

What IS important is that there is a fantastic new head who is engaged, energetic and just doing a brilliant job all round which will reap fantastic results - including ticking the boxes for Ofsted.

Yet some parents in the area will be like "Ugh, how could you send your child to that school". Hmm

MissBetsyTrotwood · 01/03/2012 19:39

She may have had plenty of other reasons for sending her child there but may not have wanted to tell you.

Putting aside any of the other wider arguments about education that have sparked here, your post smacks rather unpleasantly of schadenfreude; she made a mistake, regrets it and is trying to put things right. Good luck to her.

LineRunner · 01/03/2012 19:41

Weird and twatty OP. It comes across as.

TCOB · 01/03/2012 19:51

Wow OP - failing schools are like, so funny, aren't they? I'm sure you'll make it your business to find out the full story - do come back when you have so we can all here more about how awful and idiotic this poor woman is. I'd say her main failing is being a poor judge of character to confide in you.

fbnomore · 01/03/2012 19:54

sometimes, a failing school is the best place for kids. they learn about life, and how it isnt really fluffy and warm.

Mrbojangles1 · 01/03/2012 20:08

I. Personally think your a bad parent to send your child to a school in which you know their chances of doing well are slim and the teaching is substandard, but some people who read the guardian far to much think they are doing some sort of social good by sending their child to a sink school.

If people want to gamble with their child's education to prove somthing then good for them

I wonder how socially moral they will feel of their child fails to achieve or maybe they will don their guardian with pride in one hand and their child's low grades in the other and think it was all worth it

Mrbojangles1 · 01/03/2012 20:12

fbnomore all my child would of lernt in out local sink school was how to turn tricks

In the gazette turns out the older boys were paying girls for sexual favours Shock I suppose that would of been somthing at least at the pass rate A-C was only 34%

Lionelblairs · 01/03/2012 20:14

It must be lovely at 'indie' school where everyone is so like totally shy and different.

FGS

LineRunner · 01/03/2012 20:18

Mrbojangles, Are you Michael Gove?

Mrbojangles1 · 01/03/2012 20:23

Linerunner if I was the school local to be would have been shut down Wink

LineRunner · 01/03/2012 20:32

And the kids all working for free in Tesco?

breatheslowly · 01/03/2012 20:35

When I think people are being idiots, I tend not to "make it my business" to discuss their idiotic choices with them as I can't imagine it doing anything other than making me look like a patronising, nosy git.

This sounds like schadenfreude and you have just come on here to revel in it. That isn't very nice is it?

saladsandwich · 01/03/2012 21:03

my nearest primary school as just come out of special measures and is classed as good the other local school is outstanding.... i am going to view both schools and decide from there which one is best for my ds and it will be the one that can offer him the most help with sen. the outstanding school knew ofsted was coming so its not always as simple as an ofsted result

McHappyPants2012 · 01/03/2012 21:18

I didn't even bother with the estyn report ( welsh ofstead)

a child will learn regardless of what school they go to

Proudnscary · 01/03/2012 21:27

What breatheslowly said!

troisgarcons · 01/03/2012 21:33

failing schools are the best place to put your child.

Masive cash injections; most of the crap staff sacked; new relevent courses introduced ..... kids are in and out in 5 years before it plummets again.

Of course - any child who want to learn will learn, regardless of the environment.

TalkinPeace2 · 01/03/2012 21:45

NOT IF THEY ARE ACADEMIES

BE WARNED

LEA's WILL NOT / CANNOT HELP ACADEMIES

and Gove will never admit that one of his babies has had a tantrum

Mrbojangles1 · 01/03/2012 22:38

troisgarcons but a child who attends a good school will learn better

To be honest you have more faith than most like I said my local school was turing a bling eye to sex for favours between students apparently parents of some of the irls had complained but the school swept it under the carpet it ened up being a investergation by ss, and they were also found guilty of passing off TA as teachers to teach GCSE students so they could avoid paying & hiring subs

Cash injection will not solve the problem of a failing school alone

As for sacked staff don't make me laugh only 17 teachers have been sacked in the last 10 years in the whole of the uk.

tethersend · 01/03/2012 22:45

I often wonder what would happen if everyone just sent their children to the local school...

marriedinwhite · 01/03/2012 22:53

We sent our dd to an "outstanding" school. We were faced with the exact problems the OP turns her nose up at. Good job we had the means to transfer her to a private school at the end of Y8 eh!

serin · 01/03/2012 22:54

Why, the class system would collapse tethers Grin can't be having that now can we Sad