AIBU to think DH should lose some weight

[Mum2Luke]

we are going on holiday in June and I've started to try and lose weight so I look good, but DH still looks bloody awful, we are both in our 40's and it seems harder than ever to lose weight no matter how much I try.

He doesn't seem bothered and I do not want to be standing next to him in his swimshorts with manboobs and double chin, its a complete turn-off and he doesn't seem to care. I've not actually said anything although I feel like doing, he's young enough to get back on his bike or do some walking like I am doing.

Is it only about 'looking good' ? Or do you have health concerns?

Straight question by the way - not being judgemental.

I think it's a fine line when someone tips over to being less attractive to their partner and only you can decide when that is.

Seems a bit strange to me that you're doing this for a holiday and not just generally. If you were staying at home would it be ok to be bigger as he's covered up??

If you're concerned about his health then you should gently approach it with him but you need to lose the attitude about him being gross before you do. Weight is a sensitive issue so you've got to handle it carefully.

I feel really bad for your husband.

Mum2Don'tLuke

Could he cycle to work? DH started doing this (16 miles a day) and has lost a tenth of his body weight since january. Slightly worried actually as he wasn't fat to start off with if this carries on he could disappear completely.

If all you care about is how you'll both look when you're on holiday, then the simplest solution is to have your holiday photographs professionally airbrushed.

If however, you want to lose weight to feel better, look better, be healthier and feel a sense of achievement, then all power to you, - it is difficult, but hang in there and you'll make it. Well done for your willpower and perseverance. But you can't badger your partner into losing weight because your ashamed to be seen with him. How would you feel if he said that about you?

I should have worded this better in my post but yes I think he should lose some weight anyway. He drives to work as it is too far to cycle but he plenty of time at weekends and we are eating healthier, more home-made stuff and more veg.

I've not said anything so why feel sorry for him nizlopi? The only thing I have done is buy some decent underwear, his mother always bought him y-fronts and because of that he won't wear anything else, he is quite old-fashioned in what he wears (stripy jumpers from M and S).

I'm not gonna leave him or anyhting, I just want him to improve his wardrobe and lose a bit of weight to be healthy and feel good. Once the weather is better we'll be out on our bikes together. I've been cycling when its practical to work or walking when am sent to a school within walking distance.

How much do both of you weigh? is this proportionate etc?

I sympathise OP.
Dh is obese and a heart attack waiting to happen. He is finally now losing weight - dunno what the inspiration is behind it - but glad its eventually happening.