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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

its happened twice baby's names being changed, why do people change them?

50 replies

leelo · 28/02/2012 23:20

you spend 9mths growing a person thinking about names and choosing one that fits. so why do you change it? this has happened twice in the past couple of months. one child was 5mths when they changed his name and the other 4 weeks. no weird reasons that i know of just they changed it. it strikes me as a bit odd that you change this. after 4 weeks i can vaguely concede child doesn't know any different but after 5 mths, just strange anyone else aware of this or are my circle of mates weird? also both dc were dc2 in both cases.

OP posts:

annalovesmrbates · 29/02/2012 09:15

I do think its a bit odd to have a final named decided on before baby is born. We had a short-ish list but he didn't look like any of those so by day 2 he was something totally different which is so right for him.

My brother and SIL had a name for their DCs from very early in the pregnancies. Their DD's name stayed the same, DS changed after about a week as it wasn't right.

annalovesmrbates · 29/02/2012 09:15

My brother and SIL had a name for their DCs from very early in the pregnancies. Their DD's name stayed the same, DS changed after about a week as it wasn't right.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 29/02/2012 12:00

SleepingWithGhosts what was the name you didn't use?

I also find it odd when people are calling their bump by name, months before the due date.

Discussing names and having a few possibilities is one thing, waiting a few days or weeks to see which one suits is not so strange. But finalising the name before you've even laid eyes on the baby does seem a bit hasty to me.

Diamondback · 29/02/2012 12:51

My parents started calling my sister by her middle name after about six weeks as no-one could pronounce her name! It's really not that hard and has an anglicised spelling and everything, but after six weeks of everyone getting it wrong every time, they went with the middle name.

Why didn't you ask your friends why they changed the names?

Original poster

leelo · 01/03/2012 11:48

the first child ,a boy, they never really said because of x reason. but the first name name given was a bit popular and the new name is very unusual. the second child a girl was registered and known by the name pre- birth as x and now the new name is also a classic name. its not like their initials spelled out something naughty they just changed them. two occurrences in the space of a year strikes me as odd. i only know people that changed their names as adults.

OP posts:

Greenshirt · 01/03/2012 19:10

Bunbaker-I agree! All that waiting to see if a name suits a baby? Madness!

TheEpilator · 01/03/2012 19:37

Nearly changed my DD's name at about 6 months as everyone I met said "Oh I have a niece/dog/horse called xxxx" and I had wanted something a bit less popular. Suits her tho and the name I would have changed it to would be HILARIOUS now!

Bunbaker · 01/03/2012 20:29

I think a baby suits its name whatever you call it. I don't understand the "I don't think he looks like a Fred/James/Edward etc" point of view. I knew what I wanted to call my daughter and wasn't going to change my mind. She would have suited whatever I chose to call her though.

takingiteasy · 01/03/2012 21:08

I can't get my head round people who have names picked before baby is here. We've not even discussed names and only have 7 weeks to go. DS was 2 weeks old before we settled on his name.

SleepingWithGhosts · 01/03/2012 21:15

The name was Keiros.

Heard it one day while pregnant and loved it and was completely decided that was her name but couldn't do it.

Learnt my lesson though and with dc 2&3 have made a shortlist and chosen one once they arrive.

RobinSparkles · 01/03/2012 21:31

A lot of people saying it's odd to decide on the name before the baby is here. It's not odd just because it's not your way of doing things!

Newborns don't particularly look like names anyway, IMO. Had I chosen a name that fit my 2 DDs at birth they both would have ended up being called Red Potato. They grow into their names.

We chose both of their names before they were even conceived, although with DD1 throughout pregnancy it was more, "oh we might call her X but I'm not sure yet." But when she was born it seemed perfect after all. With DD2 that was going to be her name and that was that and it really fits her well.

rogersmellyonthetelly · 01/03/2012 21:37

I was called George for 24 hours until my father got his head round the idea that I was in fact a georgina. Sadly his cousin had given birth to a dd a month before and she was already called that so they had to come up with another name in a hurry. They did a good job, I have the perfect name, the meaning of which is actually an exact description of my personality. I'm do glad I'm not George!

skateboarder · 01/03/2012 21:39

I had a name that I loved and stupidly told 2 people when pregnant and one of them told me I couldnt call my baby that. As it turns out, I didnt and called him something else.
I bitterly regret not calling him that and had massive doubts even on the way to register him. At about 5 months when they baby fog lifted, I started talking about changing his name with dp. He said to go for it. I didnt, and bitterly regret not doing so then. In the end, we changed his middle name by deed poll for the name I loved when ds was about 3.5 years.
I bitterly regret that I didnt change it sooner so I could have changed his first name instead.

GrahamTribe · 01/03/2012 21:43

I've known it to happen. The mother was pressured by her DH to agree to a name she didn't like, the couple split not long after the birth and so the mum changed her child's name to the one she preferred.

fatlazymummy · 01/03/2012 22:15

I personally don't know of anyone who has changed their children's names after registering them, though I can see why they might change their minds. We chose all our babies names before they were born, we just picked one girls name and one boys name - I don't see why that is odd? It seems pretty normal to me. My son and his partner have already chosen their baby's name, with months to go. That seems pretty normal to me.

goodenufparent · 02/03/2012 01:34

I chose 'Douglas' for my first dc, if he turned out to be a boy, which he did - (this was 17 years ago so we weren't sure until he was born) but as soon as he came out he was so not a Douglas. I hadn't expected this , you chose a name and that was that, but we had to think quickly about what name actually did fit him. Turned out to be one I hadn't even remotely considered. It is exactly right for him.

For dd I'd learned my lesson and had a few favourite names lined up but was prepared to abandon them all if she seemed to fit something else better... one of my faves fits her nicely imo.

Moominsarescary · 02/03/2012 08:42

I know someone who changed her sons name by deed poll when he was two, she wondered why he never answered her when she called him. Think he was abit confused for a while

Anonymumous · 02/03/2012 10:44

I don't really understand the 'how do you know if the name will suit the baby before it's born' argument. Newborn babies don't look anything like their future selves in the first few weeks anyway. Their personalities haven't emerged either at that age. You might as well argue, 'how do you know if the name will suit the baby when he or she is a teenager?'

It takes DH and I months and months to agree on even one or two names - if we didn't even start thinking about it until the baby was born, we'd miss the registration deadline altogether!

DS2 is called Isaac and I struggled with that for a while, because it isn't really a babyish name. He didn't look like an Isaac at all. I'd been planning on using the nickname Zac, but that sounded too teenagery. It wasn't until we hit on the nickname Ikey that I really felt comfortable with the name we'd chosen. Now that he's nearly four, I call him Isaac without even thinking about it - he's grown into a name which really didn't suit him at all as a baby. I can't imagine him as anything else now.

Original poster

leelo · 02/03/2012 13:28

weirdly dd has just come home with note from school that they have to explain their names, who picked them and meanings/ connections. strange. i picked a list with my dh when we got told we were having a girl. then we looked at her and she was x. but with ds we struggled to chose a name. our surname is very scottish and depending on what name you put with it sounds very short bread tin or odd. so we came up with a list of boy names and let dd pick it. ds suits his name but it is very common up here and have since met 5 people with same name (first and surname).

OP posts:

HillyWallaby · 02/03/2012 13:35

What I really dislike is when people know the sex of their baby after the scan, and name it, and tell everyone its name way before it's even born, and refer to it by name - for half the flipping pregnancy. I can't put my finger on why I dislike it so much but I just do. It just feels wrong.

Moominsarescary · 02/03/2012 16:48

Ds2 was tommy from 25 weeks after his grandad who had just died, lucky we had the name sorted as not alot else was ready when he arrived at 32 weeks

Bunbaker · 03/03/2012 09:21

"A lot of people saying it's odd to decide on the name before the baby is here. It's not odd just because it's not your way of doing things!

Newborns don't particularly look like names anyway, IMO. Had I chosen a name that fit my 2 DDs at birth they both would have ended up being called Red Potato. They grow into their names."

Absolutely. You have put it so much better than I did.

RhinosDontEatPancakes · 03/03/2012 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thumbwitch · 06/03/2012 08:52

Oh I think it is entirely possible to name a baby inappropriately, if you think about the meanings of the name etc. A child named Willow, for example - you'd sort of expect a fairish, thinner (willowy) child - not a chunky great dark child. So if you chose Willow and then had a chunky great dark child, you might rethink it. IMO.

jester68 · 06/03/2012 09:28

We my first DD we found naming her easy. It was a name that I had loved for years and luckily my partner loved it too.

So from 20 week scan we knew what her names were going to be but only told our parents etc.

We never did find a boys name that we were 100% keen on.

With my second DD we did not find out what we were having. We had a boy's name we loved but there was a choice of 3 girls names. So we waited until after she was born and chose the one we most liked when looking at her.

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