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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

PTA Meetings in the Pub? Really?

119 replies

AwkwardMary · 28/02/2012 17:42

It seems inappropriate to me...our PTA is trying to recruite more members as it's traditionally seen as a bit cliquey so their idea of trying to make more parents join is to call an evening meeting in a particularly hard to get to pub in the evening.

I dont mind going to PTA meetings maybe half an hour before school picck up..but I dont want to go to some out of the way pub an hour befoe the DCs bedtime.

Is it me or is this a silly idea? The clique who oranised it happen to use this pub as their base for socialising...it feels like they've thought..."HOw can we get more parents invoved and not think we're cliquey?" and then come up with the idea of inviting us into their inner sanctum.

AIBU to say "Can't you do a meeting in school hours or just after?"

OP posts:
amothersplaceisinthewrong · 28/02/2012 21:17

We always had PTA meetings in the evenigns - that way working parents could be involved too. Sometimes in teh pub, sometimes in the staff room and quite often at one of our houses!

I think it is a nice idea to have it in a pub, makes it a bit less dreary and "school-like.

Firawla · 28/02/2012 22:18

The evening things sounds fine but having it in a pub is awful, I see people have mentioned the muslim thing already but if they have meetings in a pub it will be out of the question for us to go. Surely they can not even do that, as pta is supposed to be inclusive and having meetings in a pub is automatically excluding a whole segment of the community??? I think it's inappropriate to do so. If people want to socialise with their friends then fine go to the pub but not for pta. I really wouldn't be impressed with this myself

PeppyNephrine · 28/02/2012 22:20

There might not be any muslims in the school.

hopenglory · 28/02/2012 22:21

It's about the only thing thing that I can think of that might make the PTA slightly appealing :D

BonfireOfKleenex · 28/02/2012 22:31

Decent pubs are just rooms with tables and chairs though, like restaurants. They are not strip joints. You don't have to drink alcohol, or buy alcohol for anyone else, if you don't want to. It's a real shame that anyone should feel that they 'shouldn't' go into one.

Bunbaker · 28/02/2012 22:39

"Surely they can not even do that, as pta is supposed to be inclusive and having meetings in a pub is automatically excluding a whole segment of the community??? I think it's inappropriate to do so. If people want to socialise with their friends then fine go to the pub but not for pta. I really wouldn't be impressed with this myself"

I think it depends on the school and the area it is in. DD's old primary school didn't have any muslims so that wouldn't apply.

Forgive me for my ignorance, but I thought muslims could go into pubs as long as they didn't drink alcohol.

fatcaaah · 28/02/2012 23:15

Before we moved our meetings to the pub we had them in the school staff room in the evenings and the head provided wine :D

Oh I miss that school now!

Pendeen · 28/02/2012 23:23

A pint demure glass of cider would make our PTA meeting fly by! :)

lesley33 · 28/02/2012 23:31

Muslims shouldn't drink alcohol, although some do. Many will go into pubs, but the more devout will not.

Original poster
AwkwardMary · 28/02/2012 23:36

Bun I don't think any of the Muslim women at our school would go near a pub never mind IN one. I'm not Muslim but neither am I particularly comfortable in pubs...I don't suppose I can argue though if it's not due to religion.

I don't drink....and find pubs uncomfortable to be in tbh...it's down to the fact that I don't like the way people act when they've had a few. PTA is about raising money...I think the social aspect needs to be kept seperate...for those who want to be involved in it.
Mainly I'm dissapointed...I can't go and I wanted to.

OP posts:
Original poster
AwkwardMary · 28/02/2012 23:37

I should add that there are not many Muslims in the school but there are some...

OP posts:
PigletUnrepentant · 28/02/2012 23:39

DS school PTA has been meeting in a nice pub for ages. They all extremely cliquey, the pub can't help with that.

Original poster
AwkwardMary · 28/02/2012 23:44

I think that's what I've been trying to say really Piglet...they've made such a fuss about not being cliquey and yet ask people to go to the pub for their first meet.

It makes people nervous...not everyone's a social type and the pub IS a social setting...some of us wll be nervous about that.

Yes the HT sent out a letter about it all...saying that it might make people feel more comfy rather than meeting in a proper meeting room etc...which seemed to offical.

I thnk it's WORSE in a pub!

OP posts:
shockers · 28/02/2012 23:46

This is one of those 'can't please everyone' scenarios. Your PTFA committee will want teachers on board and they have a job to do which lasts way beyond 3.15 most nights.

The most successful PTFA I have ever been involved with was one that had no teachers on it except ones who had children within the school. All the planning was done by a parent's committee and then staff were invited (on the staff room noticeboard) to man a stall or whatever. Staff stepped up to the plate on the day, but planning was left to the parents.

They raised a fortune!

serin · 28/02/2012 23:49

See, I like the thought of meeting in pubs Grin

Original poster
AwkwardMary · 28/02/2012 23:52

Shockers that's like our school...but it's the same 8 parents doing all the work apparently.

People volunteer for stalls though. It's just nobody is there to do the dogsbody type work... I DID turn up to a meeting before Christmas...made myself available to them and they never once caled me with a task or to get me to DO anything practical.

I manned a stall...I didn't have to go to a meeting to do that! I just don't know what they want...if people go to the meeting, and I bet not a lot wll...they probably won't even be asked to DO anything.

The parents I did meet there were not over friendly or welcoming so I am notsure what they're expecting.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 28/02/2012 23:55

It's completely a case of not being able to please all the people all the time though, isn't it. %wise, I bet an evening meeting (wherever it is) is a LOT more accessible. Holding it in the pub means you aren't having to pay the BSS to open the school / lock up. Some people might prefer the school hall, and some might prefer the pub. It seems to make sense to try new ideas and see how they go, rather than complaining because this idea doesn't happen to suit you.

msbojo · 28/02/2012 23:59

Have been on 3 PTAs and various other community groups. Its really hard work trying to please everyone who may or may not want to be involved. My experience is that these committees often end up appearing cliquey because there are only a limited number of people who have the time to stick with it in the long run. Its easy to get parents/ volunteers to commit to manning a stall for a couple of hours but getting someone to turn up to a monthly meeting, trail around local business asking for donations or just spend their afternoon shopping for supplies for the school disco is a big effort.

I've been to after school, after drop off and evening meetings and they have all suited me at different stages in life but there have always been people who couldn't come. You can't please everyone all the time and all you can do is try your best to offer people the chance. On my current PTA we would LOVE to get new people involved but because the current Chair (who is great) has problems with childcare we often end up having meetings at her house. I can see that this is off putting to lots of people but then its equally dispiriting to go to the effort of organising an AGM with refreshments/ well publicised etc and only get 1 parent attend.

OP - if you have a real problem with it and really want to be involved why don't you just contact the Chair and say you can't come but would love to help. I bet she'll welcome you with open arms.

Original poster
AwkwardMary · 29/02/2012 00:08

But I DID Msbojo....myself and another parent turned up to the meeting before xmas...as they'd again asked for more help...only me and the other Mother came and we were very willing...never heard a thing back!

Nothing.

I did offer to help. I feel they sort of want help but it's a case of it being easier to do things themselves in a way...as they know who they can trust.

OP posts:
msbojo · 29/02/2012 00:19

If you really want to help then I would say keep trying. Maybe volunteer to help out on the day at some event so that they realise that you are really keen & can get an idea of what you'd be good at.

I agree its easy for PTAs to fall into the trap of doing everything themselves but often its just becuase they haven't got time to delegate and think things through properly. Also its not like work - they can't grill you at an interview so they either have to take it on trust or get an idea about you some other way.

Maybe your PTA is particularly cliquey but the ones I've been on have been comprised of a lot of competant people made slightly incompetant by the fact that they are trying to work/ be mums/ not rock the boat etc

Original poster
AwkwardMary · 29/02/2012 00:43

Yes...I got the feeling that they've kind of scared everyone else away. They're all very posh...and the area is one of those where it is half and half...so one lot is all pony club and the others are all...well NOT Pony club.

They need fresh blood.

I might have to be a bit more visible as I really DO want to help.

OP posts:
lesley33 · 29/02/2012 06:18

awkwardmary - ime muslim women devout enough to wear the hijab at my dcs school will not publicise that they will go into pubs. But I hae been in pubs with some of them. Always less boozy pubs though and more civilized ones if you know what I mean.

And in some areas muslims are very rare. So in my sil dcs school they are the only muslims and happy to go to the pub.

Groovee · 29/02/2012 06:36

We had meetings in the pub at one point as everyone was having building work done and we couldn't afford to let out a room at school. I know off a school which was decanted while new school was built and the children were bused to school from the street the school was in. This resulted in them meeting in the pub after getting an agreement of the pub landlord. I can rarely make daytime meetings!

Panzee · 29/02/2012 07:06

You could start up an alternative PTA. Call it the Judean People's Front Association of Teachers and Parents?

TalkinPeace2 · 29/02/2012 12:30

Splitters