To want to be reffered to a specialist to assess whether DP has possible adhd?

[youcantpolishaturd]

WHY, WHY, WHY, is it so hard to get these conditions recognised and by people who are supposed to help us? I should know better, afterall it took over 3/4 of my life to get my conditions fully recognised. His mum agrees, his aunty who is a teaching assistant and has a son with AS/ADHD agrees, but NO it is so hard to refer to a simple expert, or even, have a piece of paper with an appointment on without it taking 6 months..

First doctor "Yes fine, yes there is a cause for concern, yes we will refer you"
Ring surgery week later to check on progress and to check whether letter has been sent "Yes"

Wait 6 months, get fed up of waiting for said letter, make appointment to use "choose and book" service as it sounds quicker and easier.

Get there. Dr says choose and book service not offered. Dr doesn't listen to both of us. Dr says if you were fine at school and can graduate you wont have it (dp wasn't "fine" at school, just had a crappy senco that refused to accept there was a problem as he excelled academically at primary.). DR says what are you going to get from getting a diagnosis at this age, we dont like labelling people. Dr hands dp a quiz about anxiety and depression. dp only becomes anxious because his brain works a certain way, in certain situations. He is not depressed. Dp points this out. Dr says will talk to other doctor about whatever is appropiate referall And that we must not get hung up on a particular diagnosis.

Dp may not have adhd. I know that. All I'm asking is that someone who knows a hell of alot about it can asses him. I will trust this decision. It may be A different SPld. But something isnt Right. I know this. The drs dont live with him 24/7. As far as they are concerned he is perfectly fine Because they cant See it. I suspect that they think I am being a pushy gf, I do not mean to be difficult, I just want the best help and understanding for dp!

Why can't they understand this? vents

Any success stories or Tips?

DR says what are you going to get from getting a diagnosis at this age

That's what I'm wondering?

The test is really whether DP thinks that his behaviour or thought-patterns are affecting his ability to lead a normal life. If he is leading a normal life then, regardless of whether he has a condition or not, any form of treatment is going to be superfluous. If, on the other hand, he feels very restricted and handicapped by his behaviour then he should continue to seek help. FWIW No-one is 100% 'normal' & we all have character flaws and idiosyncracies that we adapt and deal with as best we can. It's only when we've failed to adapt that we need outside help

We had DS1 diagnosed in the summer. He is 15. Took ridiculous amount of time and energy to get anyone to take us seriously as he was too old for it to matter as had almost got through school.

Went private. Saw fabulous Dr at The Priory. Diagnosis ADHD and Autism. Dr said it "was as obvious as a horse in the bedroom!"

VVV expensive but worth it IMHO.

Think about what you would gain from getting a diagnosis though. There is very little suppport once you get that far. Medicine may not be an option if your DH is able to live a reasonably normal life without it.

Because there's medication he could take to help with the condition worra.

I know your frustration youcant - it took until my son was 12 to get a diagnosis of ASD. By then he was getting DLA and going to a special needs school. He also suffers with depression/bi-polar and we have now been waiting a year to get him into some sort of counselling.

'Tis the NHS at it's worst.

Like Worra says, what do you hope to achieve if they do diagnose ADHD? Ok, something isnt right, you say, but getting a diagnosis for an adult is not going to "fix" anything.

I thought about the medicine OldGrey but I'm just wondering if he needs it having got this far without it.

Of course it could be that as he's getting older, his condition is changing but the OP hasn't really explained why now.

WorraLiberty, I can see it causing problems in a work enviroment and later on in life. It would be great for him to have some specialist help on coping mechanisms that match how his brain works, rather than him being left to cope on his own devices. Or am I being really silly? Yes he gets through things, but he is on edge, cant think in a reasonable manner sometimes and is very hyper, can be very impulsive and make bad decisions and only realise when its too late. He has the attention span of a gnat. He has a tendency to get hung up and fixtated on really trivial things. Of course I will love him whatever, but I just want to help make life a bit easier for him!

He describes it as his brain being constantly on the go and never being able to "Turn off". He is very impatient and doesnt always think through what he is doing, always has to fiddle with something and do 3 things at a time, even sometimes when its 3am and both of us have got work the next morning!

if hes managed to get through so far without a diagnosis, then i dont see much point. If you know hes probably got it, you can work with it and find coping strategies, but Its not like getting a diagnosis as a child which helps you access extra support for them in crucial years with regards to education etc.

Im pretty sure I have ADD, but i dont see the point in going through the diagnosis process. I dont see how it would make the slightest bit of difference to my life for a doctor to tell me what I already know.

I also think its not your place to push for a diagnosis for your partner

I know a man who was diagnosed with aspergers around 30 years old. He was very depressed and felt isolated and frustrated because he felt out of synch with the world and found certain mundane situations incredibly stressful.

It helped with his ability to cope. He was able to understand why he behaved as he did in certain situations. It also allowed him to seek out advice and guidance about coping strategies. It stopped him endlessly blaming himself for what he felt were failings and allowed him to accept that some situations would need to be handled differently.

He was able to help himself better really.

I guess i would go through that process if I thought it would make me better able to cope in the world. But I think if you anticipate 'yes, he has adhd - here are lots of people and resources to help you' you may be disappointed.

When we got ds2s diagnosis it had taken months and he was about as severely affected as you can imagine. The dr said 'yes, of course he has autism' . 'oh' we said 'so what do we do?' 'take him home' came the fucking helpful reply.

I am really appreciative of all your replies people :) Sometimes there are days that I think, yes ok, if hes got it , fair enough what is going to make any difference...but then there are others when his decisions have affected other people. What would you all do if you were in DPs situation? The only reason I came was to support dp and to show them evidence from my POV as I was advised it can be a good idea to do, or he would forget the appt!

Completely agree with Pagwatch. Even if there is little treatment on offer for an adult, it may benefit his mental health and quality of life if he understands why he finds certain things difficult, and will help him find appropriate self-help type information. Obviously the decision on pursuing diagnosis depends on what he wants and expects from the process.

Thanks TLP, thats what I kind of think, I think he just wants to understand his brain more :)

There are a lot of dyslexia specialists who will do private assessments for dyslexia. Now, I know it is not dyslexia that is the problem, but these assessments can also identify other conditions such as ADHD and ADD, as individuals can present with more than one condition, and indeed someone who thinks themself dyslexic may not be at all, etc.

My friend is an assessor, she actually advertises in her local yellow pages! Check yours. I will ask her if there is an online list of specialists. Assessment costs a couple of hundred pounds though.

Seems significant that the other poster had to go private. While a diagnosis may help him enormously, as long as he's getting by (like a lot of people!), I guess that it's just not a priority when funds are limited, so the onus is on him and his loved ones to sort out any help.

So has a referral letter really been sent by the doctor and you are awaiting an appt? Or were they lying when they said one had been sent?

"I think he just wants to understand his brain more"

That's kinda what I mean. It'd be nice, but it's not what the NHS is there for.

So has a referral letter really been sent by the doctor and you are awaiting an appt? Or were they lying when they said one had been sent?

I suspect they are not telling the truth.

Sounds like a private assessment might be the way to go. A couple of hundred pounds is not too bad and might be worth it.

I went on an ADHD course when my dd was diagnosed. A lady came in to do a talk who recently got a dx herself. She said it was well worth fighting for and she now understands the way she is. She was previously diagnosed with all sorts until she paid to see private pysch.

If you have a few thousand £ to throw at the situation go private.

It could change your DPs life and yours too.

You may be given medicine, you may not. The chances are that you will be understood and listened to and given good advice at the very least.

ADHD often goes hand in hand with other conditions such as Autism, Dyslexia, and a host of others...would do no harm to get checked out as your DP may have an underlying condition he does not know about but blaming it on possiblity of ADHD...he may get help he didn't even know he needed.

If you can afford it, definitley do it.

I think your only option will be to go privately. NHS mental health services work pretty much on an acute-only basis - ie you will only get seen by a consultant if you have a severe mental illness such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, or if you are suicidal. ADHD is considered a behavioural disorder and comes under the remit of child and adolescent mental health service (CAMHS), which your DP is too old for.