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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to buy a present for a christening

23 replies

chocolatehobnobs · 28/02/2012 10:50

Honest opinions. I went to an old friend's baby boy's christening at the weekend. I took a card but not a present. Most people did take gifts and I am now worried that I have been stingy. I only received the invitation a week before the day and made a great effort to travel with my 3 month old to where I grew up (3 hours +). She was pleased to see me and was surprised that I had been able to come. There was a lovely lunch.
She did not send a present when my baby was born whereas I did buy a teddy - but I did not worry about this. Neither my friend or I are hard up. My own feeling is that babies and children have an obscene amount of stuff. We have been overwhelmed by new baby and christmas gifts and have just sent out christening invitation with "no presents thankyou but we do support Barnados for children less fortunate.

OP posts:
Threeprinces · 28/02/2012 10:52

Sorry but I think YWBU to attend the event and not take a present.

imnotmymum · 28/02/2012 10:53

I am sure your friend wouldn't mind as you say she would just have been thrilled to see you. Set up a charity subscription for her if want to do something WWF do lovely adopt animals. And there only so many silver egg cups one can fit in a cupboard!!

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 28/02/2012 10:55

I honestly wouldn't worry. You made a huge effort to go and means more than any present could. You said she was really pleased and surprised to see you and if she's a good friend she won't have given a second thought as to whether you brought a present or not. Babies get spoilt rotten constantly and in reality they just as happy chewing the envelope than they are playing with stacks of toys. :o

AMumInScotland · 28/02/2012 10:56

I'm sure your friend was just delighted that you'd managed to get there at all, and won't have thought for a moment about presents or lack of them.

breatheslowly · 28/02/2012 10:57

YANBU. I think you are right, children do have way too much stuff. We had way more baby stuff than DD needed and that is without a christening.

annalovesmrbates · 28/02/2012 11:00

I wasn't expecting any gifts for DS's christening and we were overwhelmed by some of them. Buy the most important thing for us was that our friends and family had made the effort to celebrate with us. YANBU

annalovesmrbates · 28/02/2012 11:00

I wasn't expecting any gifts for DS's christening and we were overwhelmed by some of them. Buy the most important thing for us was that our friends and family had made the effort to celebrate with us. YANBU

somewherewest · 28/02/2012 11:06

YANBU. My particular Christian tradition doesn't christen babies, but if we did I would've asked guests to bring nothing but themselves. Its not meant to be about the babybling.

Icelollycraving · 28/02/2012 11:08

Yanbu. I don't think it's necessary to take a gift but I do think it's a nice gesture to take something. You did make a big effort in going though which was probably more appreciated than another trinket box. Don't worry.

Original poster
chocolatehobnobs · 28/02/2012 12:35

If i did want to get something, can anyone suggest a good present? he is 5 months old.

OP posts:
DurhamDurham · 28/02/2012 12:39

YANBU but I would never turn up to any party without a little something. But I wouldn't be offended if someone came to a party of mine without a present. I just like to show my thanks for being invited and eating their food/drink.

altinkum · 28/02/2012 12:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jeee · 28/02/2012 12:46

If you want to do something now, did you take any decent photos at the Christening? If you did, you could email the best pictures to your friend, or send a framed photo to them.

HappyAsASandboy · 28/02/2012 14:28

I was going to say YABU to go to a christening with no present, but then you said you have a 3mo baby Grin

Mothers of 3mo babies can do whatever they want (within reason!) without judgement. It was great that you were able to get there. It would have been fabulous if you'd got there with a gift too, but if you were my friend I wouldn't care about the gift, I'd just be so pleased you cared enough to make the effort Smile

FantasticDay · 28/02/2012 15:01

Getting.personal.co.uk do a nice silver engraved Noah's Ark money box, which I have got a couple of times as Christening presents.

fullofregrets · 28/02/2012 15:51

My son's godmother turned up without a gift to his christening which really pissed me off. However she was his godmother and alas it has been a sign as she takes no interest at all in DS.

Anyway YANBU really, you had to go all that way with a little baby which is a lot if effort in itself. I didn't expect gifts from our guests except the godmother. You could always send a little card saying it was a nice occasion and enclose a small gift? Or just send a little card?

sausagesandmarmelade · 28/02/2012 16:12

I think children do get way too much stuff...so much so that they often rip presents open without knowing or caring who bought it for them....and the parents not bothering to get the kid to send a thank you either.

I would have probably bought a small present...but I don't think you were obliged to. You made the effort to go along and bought a card...
Your efforts were appreciated.

RuleBritannia · 28/02/2012 17:59

When I was young only Godparents brought presents along. My grandmother knitted a shawl for my DD to wear for her christening though.

marriedinwhite · 28/02/2012 18:56

In the circumstances I don't think you were unreasonable. You had a sent a present when the baby was born (and she didn't when yours was born) and made a huge effort to go.

If you wanted to buy something retrospectively you could always send a classic book for later.

scrivette · 28/02/2012 19:04

A couple of people did not buy gifts for DS, but it didnt bother me at all, I was just pleased they came.

I always give a book for Christenings and write a message in it. I try to give a 'classic' children's book that I enjoyed.

SauvignonBlanche · 28/02/2012 19:08

YANBU, so many christening presents are just tack bought for the sake of it.

TidyDancer · 28/02/2012 19:09

HappyAsASandboy, having a three-month-old baby is not a reason to do anything and expect not to be judged! What a silly thing to say!

That said, OP, YANBU. You went and you took a card. That was enough.

Turniphead1 · 28/02/2012 19:13

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

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