Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want ds to stay in school for another year?

16 replies

playdotcom · 27/02/2012 21:34

This has caused ww3 in our house and I just don't know what to do.
DS is 16 and has decided that he is leaving school in June. He is not particularly academic but expects to gain a couple of standard grades. He has categorically decided that he is not going to pursue college or anything and wants to go straight into work. This is all well and good and I really want to support him in this but there are NO jobs where we live and I am terrified that he is leaving school to become one of Cameron's millions Sad. I feel that his best bet would be to stay at school for another year at least and see what happens. He is quite an immature boy and doesn't have much confidence. Am I overthinking? Over protecting? I am really scared for his future. Help please?

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 27/02/2012 21:37

Some people just have enough of structured education at 16, then come back to it later.

What has the careers advisor said? Does he have any odea at all what he wants to do? burger flipping for an income is one thing - doing it because career pathsare closed are entirely anothermatter.

Anything remotely that he would like to follow at college?

CharminglyOdd · 27/02/2012 21:41

Is there the opportunity in Scotland to go back into education at 17? DSis (slightly different circs) had to resit an A level so took a year out and worked in an office that let her do vaguely- related tasks to her chosen career (accountancy). Working for a year, with the option to go back into education, made her mind up to go to university although she could have stayed and worked.

If he isn't closing a door by working then it could be worth him trying - if he hates it/finds he needs further qualifications it may give him the enthusiasm to complete a course instead of starting it now when he's fed up with school.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 27/02/2012 21:44

Id be asking him how he plans to support himself, a biit harsh but along the lines of,
"I'll support you in education but not sitting on your arse watching Jezza...so get a job sorted or you're staying at school!"

cricketballs · 27/02/2012 21:45

unfortunately you can not force someone to continue learning. The legal standing is that he has to be in either education, training or employment until he is 17 but this does not mean he has to stay in school/college.

in reality, I often see this and the vast majority who leave find themselves either unemployed or in a low paid, mundane job (only the few will gain apprenticeships). Hopefully, he will see his friends having a plan, future and the 12 months away from school/college will help to mature his thoughts towards being more proactive towards working to the same end

Midnightmoon · 27/02/2012 21:47

Have you looked into BTEC courses at all, or looked into all the courses on offer because I am led to believe by my niece that there are lots of diffrent things on offer that are diffrent to GCSE.
Does he realise there are no jobs, can he get an apprenticeships he can get? What is he planning on doing as a job, could you try and look into courses to do with what he wants to do?

playdotcom · 27/02/2012 21:47

He's just decided he's finished with education and is 'dying' to get out. One of his friends has just got a job in a mobile phone shop and ds appears to be in awe of this. I can't seem to get it into his head that it's not as simple as just leaving school and walking into paid employment. Careers advisor hasn't been helpful tbh, she seems far more interested in the academic kids and advising them on career paths via college/uni.

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 27/02/2012 21:48

Is he interested in learning a trade via apprenticeship? He'd only have to do a day a week or so at college then, or finding a company with an excellent training scheme.

It was the saviour of my neighbour's youngest son who didn't know what he wanted, he knew he liked cars, wanted money and has been at Kwikfit for about 4 years now, earning relatively decent money and is qualified. He was a prime candidate to be one of the lost millions... his Dad basically said, train for decent work, even in McDonalds, look at it as long haul, what you do now could be what you always will do, so don't mess up... oh and by the way, if you're not in college, or earning a decent whack, you'll now be paying me real rent. Smile

I feel for you and your son, 16 is too young to know what you'll always want to be. I still don't know at 37. The important thing for him is that he gets a skill that can always earn him hard cash, something I deeply regret not doing!

McHappyPants2012 · 27/02/2012 21:49

ask him what type of job he wants.

McHappyPants2012 · 27/02/2012 21:50

then take him around job hunting

Midnightmoon · 27/02/2012 21:52

Could you try and get him a Saturday job first, or some volenteering work so that he knows what he should expect if he does go into work and getting some experience won't hurt.

playdotcom · 27/02/2012 21:52

If I had time to take him jobhunting I would, but unfortunately I am an NHS slave and barely have time to sleep let alone drag a 6 foot surly teen round town looking for a non existant job Sad

OP posts:
Midnightmoon · 27/02/2012 21:54

Make him go looking for one, you could take him to a local careers advice place rather than just relying on the school.

McHappyPants2012 · 27/02/2012 21:59

there is always the internet.

job cnetre plus website, fish4jobs and other come up on a search engine, local paper ect.........when he sees job experience needed or abc quilification needed he will soon change his mind

sashh · 28/02/2012 06:27

I was forced to stay on, I sat on my arse in VI form and did nothing. Or I set of for VI form and just wanered around town.

Look nto aprenticeships - usually a mix of work and education.

There are also still industries where you can work your way up - is he prepared to stack shelves at midnight? Shelf stacking can lead to management.

troisgarcons · 28/02/2012 06:32

The legal standing is that he has to be in either education, training or employment until he is 17 but this does not mean he has to stay in school/college.

That is incorrect. This lot of Y11's are the last year group who can finish mandatory education at 16 - I know this as my son is this year group.

College is probably his best bet - pick up a trade - and it's nothing like school or 6th form.

cricketballs · 28/02/2012 07:11

school or college is not the only area where teenagers can go; they also have the option of training (i.e. apprenticeship) or work

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread