I have a muslim friend. (Bangladeshi but British born) I've known her for 3 years and we are pretty close. When we first met she didn't mention her religion or culture much at all and she would join in and do the same kind of stuff as everyone else. Then last year she seemed to change, she started taking her religion more seriously, started wearing a head scarf and stopped coming into pubs etc with us. This was all fine, she was still our friend and we supported the change. However she started to "Preach" a little. Started going on about how people in Britain have no morals and go around dressed as sluts (this was in summer and the girls in question were just wearing shorts and a t-shirt). She started going on and on about her culture continuously until it dominated every conversation. If our group of friends were arranging to go out, she'd demand that no men were invited (which split our group) and that we could only go to certain places and nowhere she would disaprove of. She would walk around the canteen saying about all the "disgusting food" until she found something halal at which point she would start a load of dramatics such as "oooh halal meat!! you HAVE to try halal meat it's SO nice, EVERYONE should eat halal meat ...." and it REALLY started to get people's backs up after a bit. I love her to bits, she has a heart of gold but this religious/culture stuff was really getting too much. She would play the race card with everything. Trying to get away with wearing stuff we wern't allowed to wear in the name of religion, trying to book holidays off at times we wern't allowed in the name of religion - she would even admit to us that it wasn't down to religion at all but she would say that to get what she wanted.
I'm ashamed to say a few of us started having a moan about her behind her back :( not slagging her off as such but talking about what a shame it was that she'd changed so much as people that didn't know her well thought she was irritating. But nobody said anything to her. Then we all got split up to go work placements.
She's just called me in tears. She said she loved her placement at first but now she hates it as the staff are racist and have it in for her and she can't face going in anymore. I was horrified and asked what had happened and apparently a few members of staff had complained about her "shoving religion down their necks". She has been asked to stop going on about it as it was getting people's backs up and in one conversation she told a member of staff that she wanted to send her kids to an all muslim school in which the staff member replied "they shouldn't exist. Why not send your kids to a normal school? why all the segregation? imagine if we set up Christian schools in Muslim countries? it just wouldn't be allowed and it shouldn't be here either." My friend took this as a racist comment, mentioned it to the supervisor and has basically had a right time of it ever since.
My reponse to all this was silence - followed by a guilty thought of "shit, we should have told her before she started the placement to tone it down" - followed by a very two faced "omg how awful! you're nothing like that at all!" 
to which she replied "I know!! I just don't understand"
I do. Because we've all said the same thing behind her back . I feel so shit but how could I say "actually, they're right"??
This is NOT a post taking a pop at Muslims before anyone says it. I'm just asking if I'm being unreasonable to think I couldn't tell her as it would have upset her (but now its gone a lot further because I didn't tell her ) :( what would you have done?