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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this woman is not suitable to carry a surrogate pregnancy

19 replies

Northernlurker · 27/02/2012 20:30

Sorry daily mail link. Now leaving aside the Daily MAil sharp intake of breath stuff we are looking at a woman of 47 expecting twins as her ninth pregnancy with previous health problems noted. I really hope the babies are born safely for the sake of the no doubt desperate parents as well as the surrogate but it really shocks me that a woman in this situation can be considered suitable for the rigours of a twin IVF pregnancy. Is there no regulation? Or aibu?

OP posts:

Original poster

Northernlurker · 27/02/2012 20:33

Sorry I should say it's not her age or the IVF bit that bothers me - more the age combined with the number of pregnancies gone to term combined with the risks of a twin pregnancy. It's the whole thing in this specific situation I'm struggling with.

OP posts:

Methe · 27/02/2012 20:35

More worrying is the fact that she says she agreed to have a baby for them because the husband looks like Kevin Costner

BagofHolly · 27/02/2012 20:35

Surely if you started applying regulations to women in this position you would have to apply the same conditions to women having babies at 47, via IVF or otherwise, intending to keep them themselves. Thankfully that isn't the case.

Original poster

Northernlurker · 27/02/2012 20:35

I was hoping that was a joke tbh.

OP posts:

Oggy · 27/02/2012 20:36

It's her risk to take, she is s grown woman with no dependants after all.

OddBoots · 27/02/2012 20:36

Surely no UK IVF clinic would put her at such risk? I've been a host surrogate and the hoops I had to jump through were extensive.

Original poster

Northernlurker · 27/02/2012 20:37

Kevin Costner that is.

I see that point bagofholly but I'm just really troubled by this. It is a financial transaction at least in part and she is undoubtedly risking her own health to an extent that few pregnant at 47 women are doing. Very few women conceiving at that stage will be carrying tehir 9th pregnancy.

OP posts:

Portofino · 27/02/2012 20:39

Yes - I would worry about the health aspect of this. On her part and that of the children. What would happen if there were problems?

fedupofnamechanging · 27/02/2012 20:42

I think that given the complications during her last pregnancy, she would have been sensible to stop.

She has given an amazing gift to the families she has helped, but I do have some concerns about her mental state and think this latest pg is ill advised.

BagofHolly · 27/02/2012 20:58

Northernlurker our posts crossed.

Having read it again she ISN'T having IVF - typical crappy DM writing. She's hosting a frozen embryo, so the gametes aren't hers at all and so long as her endometrium thickens enough to accept the embryo, the fact that she's had so many successful pregnancies makes her a good bet.

I feel for the couple she's helping and wish them well.

McHappyPants2012 · 27/02/2012 21:23

the complication could of been Pre-eclampsia.

it could of been anything but we don't know, but it is her life and if she want to continue then it is up to her

PoultryInMotion · 27/02/2012 21:26

Baby Jamie looks remarkably like baby Sam...

ArielNonBio · 27/02/2012 21:32

What about her employer? Where does this leave them if her health is so bad through the pregnancies?

QOD · 27/02/2012 21:41

She used to be a member of COTS, apparently they went separate ways as they were concerned about her health and didn't want to be responsible
She's a lovely lovely lady but her risk to her health now is worrying isn't it?

KirstiesHomeMadeCrap · 27/02/2012 21:53

I think I have seen here before here but its no longer avaiable

Birdsgottafly · 27/02/2012 21:55

I hope that she gets support from somewhere when she can no longer get pregnant, because there will be a void in her life.

She is also getting to an age were she may lose her own parents and may be hit hard.

Hopefully there is specialist counselling available for ex surrogate mothers.

KalSkirata · 27/02/2012 22:03

stupid question - given the first few were her own eggs, how on earth is it regulated to stop half siblings marying. They would not be aware of the arrangement.

ArielNonBio · 27/02/2012 22:11

Well I guess it's no more stupid than wondering how that's avoided in an area where some bloke has spread his seed willy nilly. As it were.

I've heard tell that's a very real problem in some areas/

QOD · 27/02/2012 22:45

Because you have a court guardian appointed, and a court case for when the child is legally made a child of the marriage of the intended parents (and because surrogate intended parents arent, as a general rule, idiots)

Her families will be from all around the country, linked up with her thru websites and agencies, not just people in her direct area.

As Arial says, there are areas where this inter marrying is a gazillion times more likely, isn't there some oike who has 14 kids all living in the same 2 roads?

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