To consider asking dh to quit his job?

[Magneto]

Dh has an utterly crap job. He has worked his arse off for 7 years for no return. His employers constantly take the piss, let him down and use him. He is currently having to pay £300+ per month in petrol just to get to the damn job. They won't fix his hours each week so we never know when he will be working, can't afford childcare and the relatives we are asking to look after ds are getting sick of 5am starts! For the privilege of being shit on each day, dh earns approx £900 per month after tax.

I earn more than dh, not by a lot but I have a decent enough job. It's somewhat secure (I work for a bank) but obviously this could change overnight. If I was the sole wage earner I could cover all our outgoing bills except food (and obviously "extras" like clothes, treats entertainment etc). Dh has a number of hobbies which have the potential to earn a little bit of money, involving cars and stamps (yes stamps ) but which he doesn't have time to persue.

Am I completely mad to even consider asking dh to quit his job? If he did we wouldn't need childcare, I would be under less pressure as I wouldn't have to do so much at home as well as at work. It would give me the opportunity to do more at work (overtime for example which I can't do at the moment as we don't have childcare). Dh would have a chance to look for a job he actually likes (he's had no luck so far despite years of applying for anything and everything), he would have time to go back to education - there is a course he wants to start in September anyway. We may actually even have a chance to see each other during the week (we currently have half a day at home with each other each week - if we're lucky!).

I just feel that aside from the money, we would be far less stressed and even though I would love nothing more than for it to me me who stays at home with my son, I know that as the main wage earner I have a responsibility to my family.

It sounds like a good idea.

It must be very depressing for him not being able to get an interview! I wonder why that is?

Oh do it! Choose happiness! Things may be hard for a while but they'll be easier to cope with if you're generally happy and it sounds like he'll be able to earn through his hobbies. I know someone who earns a nice little living from stamps actually. Don't live with regrets, jump in! You might be bale to get help to cover the shortfall in the meantime. Could he get bar work or similar? Not fun but its cash.

It's a wonder that firm hasn't been done for constructive dismissal.

Forgive my ignorance Imperial, what is that?

Well by refusing to give him regular shifts in reasonable advance it can be argued that they are making it very difficult for him to work, ie making it so they can complain about his inability to do the job.

You can read about it here, but I know it's very hard to prove.

It's intolerable that his hours aren't fixed. He's not in a management role, is he, where he might be expected to work long hours.

We did exactly this and it's been fantastic but one big sacrifice is not being able to have more children as being breadwinner Se couldnt afford for my salary to drop down to SMP.

If you can afford it, go for it, as a stay at home mum, my fuel bill is over £300 a month, so I personally don't see that as a valid reason, my dh's way exceeds that, so if he did get a new job his fuel bill maybe the same?

If you think it would improve your quality as a family, then do it.

Part of our biggest complaint about the company, aside from the hours issue, is that he is continuously put in management positions ie; no current manager at the shop he is at but dh is the most senior/experienced member of staff and therefore expected to pick up the management duties - for no extra pay. His current position is "shift manager" which is basically a supervisor to the other colleague on a shift at the same time.

I've told them to bring a copy of his contract home with him so I'll see exactly what it says.

We did it and it was wonderful! As you say pressure was off of me knowing my children were with their dad and less for me to do around the home too. The children loved it as dads more fun than me he is much more chilled and playful I'm the disciplinarian! They were disappointed when I broke the news that daddy was going to start work again and mummy would be back in charge ;)

Since he has been working in customer service, would bar work in the evenings suit? He could be at home with the kids during the day and then work when you are at home in the evenings. Plus, because there is normally a high turnover in pinned and bars he may find that he advances to team leader jobs fairly rapidly if he shoes loyalty and reliability.