To be concerned about this child?

[Wizardora]

DS (3) goes to nursery with another little boy who is 4 and who has an older sister and younger sister. The younger sister is 18 months and I am a bit concerned about her but unsure if I am overreacting.

We see the little boy and his sister in the park daily and the little boy punches her, pushes her over, pulls her hair and screams at her. On Friday she was climbing up the metal steps of the climbing frame and he yanked her feet out and she smashed her face on the steps and cut her head and today he punched her in the face and kept chasing her and pushing her over.

The mother never seems to tell him off, she'll say "That's not very nice, I want you to apologise now" or "If you do it again we are going". The girl had big red marks all over her face this morning, aibu and nosey to be concerned about this?

YANBU to be concerned. I hate it when parents let one of their children bully another one.

I would be concerned too but I doubt there is much you can do. There is a tendancy in some parenting now to avoid telling DC off. Explanation, encouragement, apologies all have a time and place. Realistically you have no way of knowing if the mum does tell him off or impose sanctions privately. I do think some parents are a bit blind to sibling cruelty rivalry - they put it down to 'kids being kids'

Blimey, I'm not sure I could have kept my mouth shut if I'd seen the little girl being used as a punch bag by her brother. How awful that the mother is letting him do this to her, she is so little still. Can you have a word with the nursery? They may talk to her about it. Or tell the mother straight that what is happening is unacceptable.

I think the problem is that realistically in the short time you are seeing you DONT know if the mother is dealing with it or not. An awful lot of parents find it very difficult to really tell their children off in public as it tends to get a very judgey reaction and will stick to "gentle chastisment" instead. Is there no way you could gently approach the topic with her? It must be driving her a bit mad as well and maybe a kind "Hello" from someone who wants to help, as opposed to critiscise might make a big difference to her?

OP, YANBU and you sound like you have seen alot of the brother hurting the toddler, rather than just a one off.

The mum is demonstrating a "failure to protect" and a phone call to ss or a chat to the nursery might help. Good on you for not looking the other way: that is when bad things happen. If mum gets a visit or phone caLL from ss and it turns out you (me) were over reacting than the worst will be she is upset/fuming over involvement. If not though, you will have reacted constuctively to an abusive situation.

hey, my COUSIN used to act as wizodora!!!! anyway

yanbu to be upset, discuss with nursery as a starter as someone needs to have a quiet word, and its a good place to start

porcamiseria - Really? Tell her I've pinched her name!

I may try and talk to the nursery...

Porcamiseria My FRIEND used to act as Wizadora.

Your cousin did not have a floral name perchance?

YANBU, it's good that you care enough about this child's wellbeing to be concerned. Obviously her mother can't be arsed protecting her. We all know a little shit that is being raised on that ineffective brand of appalling parenting.

Next time you should tell her that you're suprised ss haven't been around to visit given that she allows her toddler to be abused, comment on how if that's what he gets away with in public, you can only imagine what he gets away with at home. Look disgusted. Walk away. Keep an eye on her and call ss yourself if she continues allowing this abuse to continue.

YANBU. I would speak to nursery too but also consider speaking to mum directly. She may need some support in addressing this. She should absolutely not tolerate this at all though.