just wanting to get peoples views really

[lindalooloo]

i know what everyone is going to say but guess ill just say it .
i am now living happily with my fiance and we have his two children and are trying for our own child. before i was with my fiance i was in a relationship with someone else . we were really close and have been through lot together . he knew me inside out . recently he has got back in touch with me and we are friends. he is now in a relationship and i am so happy for him.
but i find his idea of friendship hard , he only gets in touch when he needs advice . to me friendship is more about being there through good and bad.
im not blowing my own trumpet but when we were together i did motivated him to get his life on track . when he emails its all about him and never responds if i talk about my life it just gets ignored.
i sent him a blunt email last week telling him i didnt feel the friendship was working as it was very one sided and he said he was sorry and he wanted to stay in touch then today he sent an email all about his troubled life there wasnt even a hi how are you.

sorry to bore you all guess i just needed to say this out loud .

well am meeting him tomorrow . have told him that im not going to take any rubbish . he tried ringing today but just didnt have the energy to speak to him . thankyou so much everyone its been great to get other people views i thought it was me just being silly .

Well that didn't go so well so means that unfortunately all contact will have to be cut. I've really tried my hardest . I've given it all the head space I possibly can .

what happened? sounds to me like he wanted to keep you as an emotional crutch / possible back-up plan.

I have just found this thread

why the hell did you respond to his "threats" and agree to meet ?

some "friend" eh ?

what exactly happened when you met ?

He was just not listening and then started with emotional blackmail that we had been through so much and we will always lov each other. Then got a little mad when I said I didn't love him .
It's just a mess now have a fiancé tht wants to have a word or two with him.

Moral of the story never stay friends with an ex

Moral of the story is don't be friends with a controlling idiot.

how strange

I suggest your fiance winds his neck in though

Please don't answer any more of this blokes emails/texts/phonecalls or however he's trying to contact you linda.

Getting shitty with you because you say you don't love him and thinking he has more idea of what's best for you than you do is pretty weird.

It's like he has this idea of you and how you feel which has no basis in reality, and that to me spells trouble.

I would call it selfishness, but it sounds a bit more than that.

My fiancé will respect me and not get involved he is just angry .
I'm not gonna have anymore contact with him in anyway . It's just a little sad he wasn't the man I had always thought he was . I just wish his girlfriend all the best .

Thank you to everyone that has shared their views.

Mums net rocks lol

I don't blame your fiance being miffed at this bloke, I'm sure most people would feel the same if someone was pissing their nearest and dearest about.

Have some sort of cut off in your mind as to the point at which you think the mans behaviour has gone over a boundary.

He shouldn't contact you at all now you've made it very clear you have no feelings for him and want him to back off, if he carries on regardless I think you must start thinking about getting outside help involved.

Something pretty benign like asking the police what they make of his behavioiur? You don't have to go in all guns blazing, but if it does get worse you'll feel better for having them on your side, they'll be happy to help and won't think you're wasting their time or anything

Hopefully you'll not hear from him again