To think parents&carers should look after children better at playgroups

[sississy]

I went to a new sure start centre today and it is always the same. At the start everything is lovely but than people start arriving and they don't look after the children properly, don't teach their children how to play nicely and there are toys all over the place creating hazard and I always see children fight and crying for long time (imo) before an adult in charge take notice and tackle the problem...and because they didn't even see what happened, often they can't even solve the problem properly.
I am always teaching the children on my care to pick up the toys they drop on the floor and not to throw toys around in any circumstance. I teach them to leave the toys in the right place while moving from one activity to another. I don't let them take playdough to the sand/water box and I don't let them take the kitchen toys to the book area? What use is a play kitchen full of cars and no play kitchen equipament while the garage is full of animals and dolls??
I am also constantly picking the messy up after them if they fail, I don't want them to triping over and I want they to learn how to be organized, tyde and think about what they are doing....than I wonder if it is worth the hassle doing it at playgroups while everybody else are more worried in chatting and drinking tea...

I am grateful that the groups I go to have a bit of give and take on playing with each others children. All of the people there are looking after children for pretty long hours - some are parents, some nannies and childminders and some grandparents. I will sometimes play with my Ds and someone else's child while they have a mini breather or cup of tea and vice versa. There are some children who are much more of a handful and it is tricky sometimes, but again people muck in to help. For what it's worth, if you were my ds's childminder, I'd be really pleased you were taking time to play with him, but I wouldn't mind (nor would it be any of my business to mind) if you had a cup of tea and a chat too. I must have a completely chaotic home because I barely notice the mixing of toys although now I picture our toddler group there are toys everywhere and you do have to be careful where you tread. Luckily no sand or water!

I agree with you mostly OP.

If children are allowed to get everything in a total mess then it ends up with no-one being able to play properly. Yes, at home if you want to play with your toy trains in the bath, that's fine, but at playgroup/nursery etc they should stay with the train track or there will be none there for anyone else to play with.

And yes, children should be able to lead their own play, but if they are not shown how to role play in the home corner, or use the play dough, or make the dolls house characters act out stories then their play is not going to be extended to the extent that it could be and they will continue to just rush about flitting from one thing to the next and leaving toys all over the place.

I did a day's supply work in a nursery once and stopped a child from moving the newly set out play dough from the play dough table. 'Oh no.' I was told. 'The children can use it anywhere to help their learning.' Well, within half an hour it was all trodden into the carpet, or dried out in little bits everywhere, so nobody could use it for any 'learning.'

In some cases, if a child is really making the most out of equipment and needs it in another area, then fair enough. But as soon as they have finished using it it should be put back properly so that it is ready for the next child. It's all very well saying 'let children play with things how they want' but when the next child arrives and the room is a mess with not one complete set of anything, how is that child supposed to know what to play? Chances are he or she will not be able to have a meaningful game as the equipment that might have been used is all mixed up.

YANBU. We've stopped going to playgroup for these reasons, far too chaotic and random for my liking.

Actually toddlers need to lern how to play, with adults, other children and on their own.

YABU - you don't need to follow a child around a playgroup, just keep an eye on them.

And tidying up while playgroup is ongoing is a ridiculous notion.

Clearly we have different ideas of "playing properly". You'd have hated my ds's room - he always had dinosaurs driving his cars and the lego would be used to build some kind of town/home/barricade for the wild animals while the figures might use the trainset to get to the tools made from K'Nex. Oh, and the belts and laces and bits of string that would be set up for some creature to slide down would have driven you insane!
I think the curtain that I had in my dressing up box was the most used "toy" in my house for many a year too. It's called imaginative play. Sometimes it's early engineering and problem solving. I'd feel very sad for children who weren't allowed to investigate like this.

Also, many people go to a parent group like this specifically to chat to other adults. It can be very isolating at home all day with no adult conversation.
YABVU IMO

I really can't see whats wrong with taking a car from a garage and running it through paint and onto paper - or filling a water bowl up with plastic dionsaurs from the sand pit. It's play and its meant to be imaginative and experimental. I'm all into toys being used in new inventive ways. Yes I agree it's good to help tidy up at the end of a toddler group and yes it's good to keep an eye on your child. Parents are responsible for their kids behaviour

toddler groups are also for the parents - they are often the only contact with other grown ups.

I can understand keeping an eye on dc behaviour - especially if you have a few to watch, I can understand not getting clay in the sand etc but toys migrate as part of play and get tidied up at the end - are you possibly a little ocd about it?

Maya AngelCool has it right. Kids with childminder, boy falls off chair, scar around eye. Is he bovvered? Nope. Am I? Well, I was paying £800 weekly (3 kids) and for that I wanted a perfect Einstein, not a bleeding 2 year old. Older now, the kids fight all the time, which reminds me that I did with my siblings. We all survived and get on (very) well in adulthood. Shepherd them towards the exit and try and make it fun for both of you along the way.

Wow, children just don't play in such a regimented way! It's play, not a chore that has to be completed.

I run a playgroup and all the toys get mixed up, so what? We just sort them as we put them away at the end

Also, as someone above mentioned, if all the trains on the trainset have been taken elsewhere then no children can play? Can't the child (or parent) just show some initiative and retrieve a couple from the microwave/sandpit?

A child mixing toys and using their imagination by using toys in a different way than they are told to are thinking outside the box and learning.