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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to turn off the baby monitor

53 replies

Ahhdodo · 24/02/2012 19:43

DD1 has a small head cold, blocked nose etc. This means she can't suck her soother which she needs to go to sleep. She just won't settle now. Have given all the medication I can, used nasal spray even sucked her nose myself but no relief. Everytime I pick her up she falls straight to sleep in my arms but wakes up the minute I put her down. I'm tempted now just to turn off the baby monitor and let her CIO.

OP posts:

RecursiveMoon · 24/02/2012 19:47

No, don't. It's not the time to do it if she's poorly. How old is she?

blackoutthesun · 24/02/2012 19:49

aww op please don't she is poorly

is there anyway you can tilt the cot?

if you leave her, she will just end up more snotty and be really unsettled. pick her up andlet her sleep on you

SpottyTeacakes · 24/02/2012 19:49

I wouldn't leave dd to cry if she was ill. How old is she?

takingiteasy · 24/02/2012 19:51

I'm not a fan of crying it out but realise there is a need for it at times. I really don't think this is one of those times. Poor wee thing isn't well. How old is she? Sometimes you just have to put everything else on hold and cuddle in. She will stay sleeping, just give her time.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 24/02/2012 19:52

No, you can't do that, the poor buffers ill

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 24/02/2012 19:52

How old is your dd?

Is her cot/bed tilted?

Have you got a bowl of water in the room?

Have you got one of the plug in vaporisers?

Is there a reason why you're not happy to cuddle her more when sh's poorly?

I really wouldn't leave her to cry it out when she's poorly

Mutt · 24/02/2012 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pleasethanks · 24/02/2012 19:53

I understand your frustration, I really do! But, when she is unwell is probably not a good time to do it (unless you think she will settle in a minute or two). I know when I am unwell I sometimes just want a hug (and my mum, and I am in my thirties!).

leftmymistletoeatthedoor · 24/02/2012 19:53

Are you serious? Yabvu.

Poor little thing needs you.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 24/02/2012 19:54

Why not try to settle her in her buggy with it quite upright - she can stay there until you go to bed or you can even take it up and 'park' her beside your bed.

Now is not the time to try CIO - she's poorly :(

ScaredyCate · 24/02/2012 19:55

I am not against controlled crying (though I don't like CIO much) and have done CC with mine with great success but I don't think that either CC or CIO is appropriate when they are ill.

In your position I'd let her fall asleep on you and try to put her back in bed once she is deeply asleep and failing that I'd have her in with you tonight.

EverybodysSnowyEyed · 24/02/2012 19:58

I've been known to let the kids CIO but not when they are ill

try tilting the cot - book under head end legs
olbas oil on a hanky in the corner of the room always works a treat for my two

otherwise you may just have to sacrifice a good nights sleep and hold her up

I am assuming she is a baby by the way!

ViolaCrayola · 24/02/2012 19:58

No, I wouldn't do this when your DD is poorly. You will be worried sick I'm sure and will just want to keep checking on her anyway.

Maybe you could let her sleep with you just this once? Or let her sleep in your arms for a bit? You sound like maybe you're at the end of your tether, and I really do understand that feeling. But I don't think turning the monitor off when she's ill is the right solution.

Hope things get better.

scrivette · 24/02/2012 19:58

YABU, she isn't well and so wants Mummy.
Will she stay asleep if you warp her in a blanket and put her in a car seat or bouncy chair so you can move her later?
I know it's frustrating, DS hasn't been well and will only stay asleep when I put him in his Moses basket as its a bit too small for him but he feels cosy.

Convert · 24/02/2012 19:59

If she is still a small baby try getting her to sleep in her car seat. My son had a cold at 5 months and he slept in his for a couple of nights. It helps being upright. Failing that sleep in a chair with her on you or in your bed. You would be very U to let her cry it out when she's ill.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 24/02/2012 19:59

YABVU. She's ill, she needs you, and if you leave her to cry she will be snottier than ever and possibly struggling to breathe.

How old is she?

Tryharder · 24/02/2012 20:01

Of course you are being unreasonable. She's ill. I think you need to take a step back and consider how nasty you sound. Seriously.

coraltoes · 24/02/2012 20:01

God knows why she wants a mummy who is willing to ignore her when unwell!
Tilt her bed with books, get a humidifier or damp towel on radiator to keep nasal passage from drying out, some oil to breathe clear and help her out. Colds suck, she needs comforting.

GrittersWifeAndProud · 24/02/2012 20:02

We took DD to BILs birthday party back in Nov, it was at his house, DD went to sleep in a travel cot upstairs. She woke up and MIL went to settle her back down, she only settles for me btw. The monitor was on and I could hear her crying and then it all went quiet and I thought 'oooh fab she's actually settled down!' 3 hours later MIL reappears 'right, she's finally asleep!' turns out she'd decided DD had to get used to other people getting her to sleep and DD just wanted me and had been screaming for 3 hours until she eventually cried herself to sleep. I was furious, DD was upset and wouldn't be held by anyone but me for about 2 weeks later. I can only imagine how frightened and sad she was :( she was 4 mo when this happened.

I know it's different circumstances but don't do it :(

giraffesCantDonateBoneMarrow · 24/02/2012 20:02

How old? Can you hold her and sit and watch the tv/dvd? Be a good excuse to chill out on sofa!

HandMini · 24/02/2012 20:02

Definitely cot propping, olbas or Vicks on a hankie tied to cot bars, baby Vicks rubbed on chest. Sleeping in buggy is a really good idea, am going to remember that.

No CIO tonight, OP.

Downbytheocean · 24/02/2012 20:02

YABU - I never post in this topic but just had to say that you can't leave a poorly child to CIO. Very unfair....cuddle, co-sleep, do what you have to do to get through it until she is better. This is what parents have to do whenever illness strikes, for as long as it takes.

FannyFifer · 24/02/2012 20:02

Many a night I have sat up holding a snotty baby, that's just what you do.

ZenNudist · 24/02/2012 20:02

Can't you mumsnet on your phone, or read whilst dd sleeps on you. Wait til she is deeply asleep, then put her down?

You can usually tell if the crying is settling sound or working up sound. I wouldn't leave my ds to work himself up but also would not be worth trying to comfort baby who is just having bit of a grizzle to sleep in a short while. The aim of the game is to get then to sleep, especially when they're ill. If that means comforting her do that, if turning off the monitor and letting her Grumble means that in a short while she's away then do what works.

iCANdothisiCAN · 24/02/2012 20:04

Not going to judge you one bit op, I know exactly how you feel I really do.

When you're on your own, they've done nothing but winge all day and then won't settle it's one of the most miserable things ever.

The worst part is that you feel so guilty because you feel so very sorry for them but you just NEED half an hour of peace!

Take a deep breath, get a drink, some snacks and the remote then bring her downstairs and cuddle her to sleep.

"this too shall pass"

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