to be pissed off with dp for goin out (even though its quite nice without him!)

[ButteryBiscuitBase]

Dd is 7, ds is 8 weeks. Dp works all week so I understand he needs time to let off steam and socialise. He rang me this aft to say he was going out with the boys tonight. He came home from work at 4 fleetingly hugged the dcs, showered asked me to cut his hair (didn't clean up the hair!) and was out the door. So I was left to clean up the hair, get tea, bath the kids and do bedtime etc. We hav e got a busy weekend, dd ballet lesson 1st thing in morning, his cousins kids party tomorrow in another city and visiting my family on sunday he will be at work. We are moving house soon and have someone to look round ours on monday so want it clean and tidy but won't have much time now. He will be tired and hungover tomorrow and tired from work on sunday. I have also got a job app form to fill out and hand in monday. Just feel I won't get 5 mins to myself all weekend or much help round the house and if I were to even leave him with kids for a couple of hours it would take so much planning and organising (expressing milk, making bottles etc) where he can just up and go! Its quite nice just me and the kids though chilling in our pj's eating sweets and watching girly tv. Think its the principle really. Anyway just felt like a rant, am I being a moany bitch???

YANBU..

Lot on your plate lovely. Bit thoughtless of him, can you get him to do the chores tomorrow? Bugger his hangover..

I completely understand though, I work full time in a very demanding job (being a step mum of HIS three kids) and I have to get away from the DH on the odd night to let off steam. LOL.

Thanks! He is just a bit of a thoughtless plonker sometimes, he probably hasn't even considered all the other stuff that needs doing. Didn't mention it to him as don't like arguing in front of dcs and he seemed in a really good mood so didn't want to be all negative and naggy! Think I'm being contrary though as last thing I want to do at the moment is go on a boozy night out. I'm perfectly content cuddling my babies at home watching the soaps!

You're not being a 'moany bitch'!

I'd be most pissed off that he left without clearing up his hair, especially as you were doing him a favour cutting it.

Does he know you're feeling stressed out with it all? It's not nagging or being negative to tell him how you're feeling, but as you say just before he goes out probably wasn't the best time.

Pick a time when you're both relaxed and you can say what's on your mind without any anger creeping in, if you don't say it in an accusatory way there's no reason why he shouldn't help support more effectively.

You've got a 7 YO and a tiny baby, it shouldn't all fall to you.

Have you been locked in all week or have you managed to meet up with friends etc ..... so think before you moan about him meeting up with his.

Just read your title again, why do you think it's quite nice without him there?

That's not a good sign is it?

I feel your pain.

I don't mind DH going out but I do sometimes wish I had his freedom.

DD is 10 weeks And DH Has been out with his mates twice in a week and is going away for the weekend.

Feel a little green but on the other hand am loving staying in with DD and snuggling!

I love my partner but I also think it's quite nice without him don't really think thats a biggy.

Hopefully now I've said that more isn't going to come tumbling out from the OP [blush}

No just mean its nice having some quality time with dd and watching crap tv without him moaning, plus more chocolate for me!

DP is very good with kids and does some housework (if nagged!) He just has "typical bloke" qualities, leaves stuff lying around, can't find washing basket etc! Feels like having a teenage son at times! He also seems to get to have loads of fun playtime with dcs whilst I'm sorting everything out!

I really think its just annoying he can flounce off on a whim where me even going for a barh takes organising (and someone still usually comes in and interrupts!)

Think I just need a bit of "me time" I just feel like I'm constantly on the go or in thinking ahead. Think I'm still adjusting to going from mum of 1 to mum of 2. God I am a moany bitch aren't I!!!

I think you should try to tell your DH what you have written here in this thread before the resentment wears you down.

And if it really does feel like having a teenage son at times, then you both need to make some changes.

My tip would be to be to stop trying to do everything. Accept that some things will need to be left undone or else be done by DH.

Going from one child to two is a huge leap, as it increases the workload and reduces free time, and makes it more complicated to get time away from DCs (I am stating the bleeding obvious here). It doesn't sound as if either he or you has really acknowledged that you, specifically, need more "help" now.

Calm conversations about upcoming events. Who will do what. How do we get the house ready for the viewing? Who will do which task? Do we need to go to cousin's party? If we do, when can I get two quiet hours to fill in my application form? You put the washing on while I bath the children. Etc etc etc

Of course you need ME time. You only gave birth 8 weeks ago and you have a 7 yo to look after as well.

Don't regard time at home as time off as a lot of people do. Your full time job is looking after two children so yes, you need time off too. Your DH has been away from the DCs every day and is now having MORE time away from them as he "needs a break". Where's your break?

My DH went to the pub for 8 hours 2 weeks after I had a C-section and I was really weepy and in loads of pain AND had a 3yo. Everyone seemed to think he deserved a pint etc. !!

If this was the other way round it would be a very different story indeed.

I'm not saying working full time isn't tiring. I'm not saying men don't need a break. I AM saying that sometimes for a few months after your wife has had a baby, you might need to cut back on your social life a tiny bit. Not too much to ask.

"He just has "typical bloke" qualities, leaves stuff lying around, can't find washing basket etc! Feels like having a teenage son at times! He also seems to get to have loads of fun playtime with dcs whilst I'm sorting everything out!
"

That's not a typical bloke.

Good men aren't messy and inconsiderate and are perfectly capable of looking after themselves - in fact they would be ashamed if their partner thought of them as an errant child.

Why do you think men are so useless?