to want ex sis in law to bugger off?

[lovemykaygees]

She has been divorced from BIL for 3 years but is godmother to my niece, so shows up at parties and get togethers because my SIL (BIL's sister and mum to my niece) has stayed quite friendly with her, I assume for niece's sake. My BIL has met a new woman who is just getting to know the family at the moment and last night there was a family get together for niece's birthday. Ex SIL showed up, showered niece with gifts and did the whole small talk thing before leaving after about an hour or so. I don't have a problem with her really but certain members of the family really dislike her, my MIL included. SO, the usual happens last night, after she left she became the main topic of conversation, which is getting pretty bloody boring after 3 years, lots of whispers of 'what's she doing here' blah blah blah, MIL going in a huff with SIL for inviting her and BIL getting pissed and angry. It really wound me up last night because I thought it was a bit unfair on BIL's new girlfriend. So AIBU in wishing she would just make time for her god daughter on their own terms outwith the immediate family as every time she shows up it creates tension? It's getting really annoying.

YABU - she behaved and did her duty towards her goddaughter, she sounds nice enough.

However I wonder if ex SIL is on MN? I bet she would a stack of MIL threads to share!

To be frank, Ex SIL and current SIL are the only ones coming out of this with any credit. ExSIL is being a caring, considerate godmother, turning up for events that are important for her godchild and then leaving to let the family celebrate together. SIl is maintaining relationships which are important for her DC. Everybody else- the bitchy MIL, pissed BIL, sniping relatives- comes out of this very badly. The new girlfriend is probably much more bothered by the bitching family than the exSIL.

I think this is a reverse AIBU

You know what MamaM I really hope not..reverse AIBUs should be fecking banned...

Dead right noone the new partner must be thinking 'I wonder what they say about me when Im out of the room'.

I agree with others - being a godparent means something and it sounds to me like this woman is doing her very best by her godchild, who presumably wanted her godmother at her party...

I'd say your ex-SIL doesn't "show up"; she is invited. You assume your niece's mum stays friendly "for niece's sake" but, presumably, you don't know for sure so it could be otherwise. The problem is not your ex-SIL; she is not responsible and cannot control the bitching that goes on after she has left. The family need to start behaving like adults.

What do you want to bet that, if she didn't "show up", that would turn out to be wrong, too?

I would not want to see my ex at a family gathering, but my brother would realize this and not invite him.
I think the people who talk about her when she is gone are pretty low class. The host who invited her should speak up in her defense, and ask the gossips to save it for outside of her home.

Oh, I didn't answer your OP. You are being unreasonable. It is not your home, or your gathering, to decide on who is invited. Who you invite, into your own home is your decision, but not your sil's home. Her call.

It sounds like other people who would have made the new gf uncomfortable, not the ex sil.