To tell him that if he's so much better than I am, he can bloody well do it himself?!

[StealthPenguin]

My partner is wonderful. Really. He's a lovely bloke, great father and genuinely spontaneous and romantic person.

But he drives me absolutely bloody bonkers over how I do my housework!!!!

He keeps telling me that no, I'm doing it wrong, and that X should be done before Y. And I just want to lamp him!

So now I've yelled explained to him that every time he says anything about the way I do things, I will abandon the task and he will have to do it instead.

Anyone else had this problem? Please tell me a boot up the arse worked!

Pointy end down, I'm another one who doesn't understand why you would need to hang anything on it.

Putting small plates under big ones is just daft.

I'm quite obsessive about housework because 'mistakes'with housework used to be a trigger for my abusive ex who had strange ideas on how to do things. For example he would go in a rage when I washed the glasses before the pots.

I store pointy end up as it is more balanced that way as the end the iron sits on is wider. Isnt it more top heavy with the pointy end down?

we have plates in different piles according to size e.g. a pile of dinner plates, side plates, bowls, etc so you would never have small ones under big ones as they have their own pile

DH will dash out and re-hang clothes on the line (if he hasn't managed to get in there first), because I don't do it in order. MIL, who thinks I hang them perfectly well (and since she's 89 and like a button, I like to think it's she who has more expertise on the matter ) rolls her eyeballs at me when he starts.

When he pulls them in, the clothes, strangely, go in to the basket any-old-how, yet the pegs remain on the line... colour co-ordinated. He got rid of all our wooden pegs years ago because they irritated him - he couldn't order them.

When DC finally got home last night, late and exhausted after a long week and various after school stuff, we found the kitchen table and chairs upside down in the middle of the room, floor mopped, sofa on top of table...utter chaos. DC were starving and we couldn't set foot in the kitchen to eat . DH said the floor needed mopping, which in itself is fair enough, but he took the kitchen apart just to do so.

I could go on...

OP you are not alone.

Pointy end UP - for the OBVIOUSLY correct reasons Seona said.

Plates in order, in correct sets - it's not OCD it's right.

Of course you wash glasses before pots - why would your abusive ex think otherwise Hecub?? (I'm glad he's your ex anyway!)

Lottie - get them all sorted. Stacking tins neatly with the labels facing forward is right - not OCD.

I hang clothes on the line 'in order' too - all the pants together, all the t-shirts together etc (each persons together within that) :) and with matching pegs (ie all the knickers have red pegs, all the tshirts have blue pegs). Last year I bought all new pegs - all pale blue, saves time

Pegs do not remain on the line and clothes get put in the basket in order!

As I said chipping my ex had strange ideas afaic you start with the cleanest stuff. BTW I still wash glasses first.

Off course labels should face out the way, Then you can see what you have at a glance. Also if you have more than one of same thing then longest date to the back.

Hecuba - any idea why he thought you shouldn't start with the cleanest things first? (as I said, I'm glad he's your ex :) )

Frankly other people do do it wrong and it is very annoying.

Seriously though, you are touching on something in all of us, we all have routine and disruption from it is uncomfortable. The way we dry ourselves after showering, the way we brush our teeth, the way we eat... so many things that we are unaware of. And for some people (your partner sounds like one), disruption is deeply troubling.

I think you have approached it correctly in letting him know how his "corrections" affect you. It may be that you have to make firm boundaries over who does what and about what you can both let go. It's the small things that build.

I am loving all of the OCD people on here coming and sharing ideas

Does anyone else have their DVD towers organized by category? My MIL has five different glass DVD towers that hold about 100 DVDs each and it is absolutely brilliant! There's a tower for comedies (top to middle are blokey comedies and middle to bottom are girly comedies), a tower for romance (top to middle) and classic films (middle to bottom), an entire tower devoted to science fiction, a tower for action (top to middle) and documentaries (middle to bottom) and then there's a tower for dramas (top to middle) and animation films (middle to bottom).

She then has all of her TV series' in a glass cabinet, but they are done alphabetically because there aren't that many.

I seriously love her. She's like the queen of organization!

No stacking plates- we have a plate rack.
I can't load the dishwasher-according to DH

And. AND. DH (who has driven ONCE since he passed his test 20+ years ago)

gives me driving tips

My DH gives me driving tips, he doesn't drive either.

DVDs and books arranged by category, clothes put away in a specific way too.

StealthPenguin

Just told my DH about this.

He says, very tongue in cheek, that you need to learn to do things properly! ;)

Tell him to stuff that cherry of yours up his backside, cherrytopping!

People, they are designed to be pointy end down.

OP - if he's bothered, why doesn't he put DVDs back once he's finished watching them? (failing ot understand why more than one DVD would need to be put away at any one time)

Oh I'm so glad I live on my own!

I think it depends why:

If it's he has random ideas as to how things should be organised I.e. all films ordered first by release date then by middle initial of third lead then he needs to do that himself.

If he has impossible standards that mere mortals cannot meet I.e. all bedding changed and ironed everyday, carpets washed once a week etc then he needs to do that himself.

If its because it makes the job more efficient or easier then perhaps it's worth listening to? I load the dishwasher a certain way and dry and fold clothes a certain way as it increases the efficiency of these jobs in my house and would tell others as I find wasting time on things that are not fun intolerable :)

I used to rearrange the washing on the drier because DH's method of hanging it appeared to be bunch it all up, throw it at the drier and leave it where it falls, which is all very well when you are not the poor mug who is going to be attempting to iron it later and have it take ten times as long because of all the creases.

Actually, we did a swap a few years ago which involved him taking on some of the cooking and me taking on washing start to finish (his only involvement is bringing the basket down when it's full and dumping it in front of the washing machine as I would step over the pile on the landing and not see it until it was taller than me!) This really suits me as I hate cooking and don't mind washing and my way of doing it means I have barely any ironing as I shake all the creases out and hang it on hangers. I also do not overload the machine so things actually get washed properly and I am able to sort it into whites and darks and not shove it all in together and hope for the best!

I would suggest that, if there are things which bug him but seem unreasonable to you (like the DVDs) you do just walk away and make it his job in future. No reason why he can't have some jobs left for him if he is so fussy about them.

Pointy end down here

When I fold the ironing board it´s easier to carry with the wider end uppermost & so therefore gets stored that way.

Marks on washing-do you use powder?

If so, change to liquid rather than doing more washes