I've heard it all now, apparently it is selfish for someone to get a job if their husband earns a decent salary?

[iwantajob]

I am a regular but have namechanged because I think the people who had this conversation are perhaps mumsnetters and I'd rather not be identified especially as I overheard their conversation.

It went along these lines. A couple of mums were talking about someone else and how she's looking for work. They then commented that she doesn't need to find a job because her husband earns a decent wage and that actually for her to find a job is selfish because it takes away a job from someone who genuinely needs it. I was

I am currently looking for work and my dh earns a decent salary. But I have been at home for seven years and I am now ready to go back to work now my children are at school. Of course the job market is difficult at the moment and competition is tough. But are there really people who believe that if you already earn a decent amount of money then someone like me is selfish for wanting a job of my own?

If I get a job am I selfish because I have potentially taken that job away from someone who is in a lesser financial position than I am?

Utter rubbish.
A bit like saying people who earn a decent salary shouldn't shop in charity shops or use discount vouchers.

Nope, that viewpoint is blinkered and very sexist.

Yes how selfish of away a job. Yawn. YADNBU. Or if you are, then so am I!

Of course YANBU.

I would suggest that the ladies in question might be trying to justify why they haven't returned to work themselves.

I'm selfish too then

Yanbu but must admit I often joke to dh that I should remain a Sahm forever based on this logic! As it is couldn't give monkeys what others choose to do.

In that case I will continue to be a stay at home!

The way I see it, it's a wash. You're creating a child care job that wouldn't otherwise exist, to say nothing of all the little consumer things (drycleaning? more takeaways?) that you wouldn't otherwise have the money/need for that you're suddenly adding a demand for.

Depends what you clasify as a decent income? I work full time but don't really have to as DH earns good money. It never occured to me to just live off him. I like earning my own money.

The moral superiority Beer
I bet they make their own pancakes, not the ready mix.

OP, i hope your friends have complained about the workfare then if they care about job vacancies and fairness.

Yep, I've read that before on here. Just let it wash over you OP. Good luck with the job search.

Blimey, working isn't fair on the children and now not fair on society...we really are evil women.

I have to admit several years ago I once judged someone for being selfish because she had two jobs! She had a full-time job as a civil servant and worked in a supermarket at weekends, so I felt she didn't need the supermarket job and was possibly taking it away from someone else who did and who wasn't as skilled.
But when I thought about it, I realised I didn't know anything about her or her circumstances and it was none of my business, so I was being unreasonable to judge her. I had just found work after a period of unemployment after finishing university, so that's why I was envious of someone with 2 jobs when it took me such a long time to find 1. It was still wrong of me to judge.

Best of luck with your job hunt, OP.

cremeggthief - when I was in the civil service (the posh end too, Whitehall, big dept) I knew people who had to have weekend jobs because the pay was so shit and they couldn't afford to live on their wages alone. People don't think about this when they think about civil servants and their "amazing" pensions etc.
And OP yanbu. Good luck, I hope you find something.

People still say that?

It was a standard argument for keeping women out of the work force way back when. Many decades have empirically proved it wrong.

Depends if you are taking a NMW job when you are qualified to do a better paid job IMO. If you are qualified to DO a better job, yet you take a NMW job 'for the PT hours', then YES, I do believe that you are making it harder for a DIFFERENT mother, be they a Lone Parent, or a mother who is only CAPABLE of earning NMW, to get a job...

I am NOT saying this to keep women out of the workforce - but to keep NMW jobs for those who CAN'T do anything else.

So shoot me for thinking like that!

I suppose there is some logic in their theory somewhere, but agree that it probably has much more to do with their own justification for being SAHMs (not that any is needed IMO). You may well find that their own attitudes will change in years to come when/if they feel the desire to return to WOH themselves .

What nonsense Huntycat. What if the professional job the woman did pre kids was very demanding/long hours/travel and she wanted a NMW to fit in with the family how is that selfish?

Honestly women can't win can they? Criticised for being a SAHM now criticised for getting a job have really heard it all now.

I do the job which I am qualified to do. But I don't need my wages but I do work because I need to keep myself sane. I have fibromyalgia and can get very down but if I spend too long at home then it just gets too much.