To feel like it's JUST not FAIR?

[hubbabubbabubba]

Ok, this has probably been done a million times already but; I work full time (am single parent to 2 dc) and have to pay my own mortgage myself (£800). I do receive working tax/family tax credits and a little maintenance from ex, but still have very little/no money left at the end of the month.

My sister is also a single parent, works only 16hrs a week, and refuses to work any more than this as she knows her whole rent of £1000 a month would no longer be footed by the tax payer.
She recently sold her shared ownership home, managed to keep the extra £13k she made out of it and bought a brand new car, a holiday for her kids and boyfriend and brand new furniture for her new rented house. She owes my mum several thousand pounds but did not pay her back.

How is this fair??? Needless to say, we are not v close!

Reading more of your situation, isn't it best you do things yourself?

Why would you want to be reliant on benefits?

Forget about what your sis gets up to.

Life isn't always fair, but you do at least have an education, a home and the potential to better yourself...not too shabby IMO :)

Thanks Feminine.

because life is so much easier on benefits

seems to be so , for many people

Well done on your ou degree hubba. It can be hard going paying your way with ou while supporting a family and working. Good for you.

Maybe she meant that all the benefits together cover the rent? They are really quite strict with HB usually, the application is insane and they go through your financial records with a comb and will limit payments for any tiny reason.

I'm not doubting you just suggesting that you might feel less aggrieved if your sister was getting less than she's implied.

Also to make you feel better: relying on HB is precarious. We had our payments suspended for six months through no fault of our own (luckily it was more of a top-up amount).

How on earth did you pay for your OU studies then? If you have nothing left now at the end of the month?

Sorry to hear that you were unwell.

I sometimes had unkind thoughts about the parents of my pupils strolling into the playground with suntans when I was teaching their ten year old DC and I was missing every milestone that my own baby daughter met, but looking back, I was lucky in many ways.

Obviously misread about financial support from your mum.

If you feel proud that you manage to pay the mortgage yourself, then extend that pride to the rest of your bills.

Try not to compare yourself with others, its tiring!

Why is she being attacked so? I feel pissed off as hell about some people who get rent paid, school dinners paid, free dental treatment, and insist on rubbing it in and revelling in it whilst moaning about the 'system' People are allowed to get fed up with the way things are at times. It annoys me that threads like this always seem to end up with the OP upset .

I'm not usually one for commenting on typing, OP, but as a student and possibly a future teacher, you might find this useful:

The word / personal pronoun, "I", is always capitalised. Even if it is in the middle of a sentence.

There are reasons for this which are quite interesting.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

'Life is unfair, do something about it, vote Tory'?

Yes, do lets. Then we can see just how fair and equal everything magically becomes. It's working out brilliantly so far

Yes, Creepy, thanks for that. It is such a hassle on my tiny little phone with its tiny little keys to try to turn all the correct letters into capitals. But thanks.

Yanbu. The thing is though, comparison with others is the route to unhappiness. You have loads to be proud of and part of that is your hard work that has achieved financial independence from the state. Note-not the financial independence from the state itself.

But who will have a home to pass down to their kids at the end of the day? Who is building wealth for future generations?

That is YOU.

And surely you dont expect the taxpayers to buy your children a home they can sell?

You are improving your life, your sister isn't. You will be able to live rent/mortgage free in your retirement and have inheritance for your DC. So, it is worth it. FWIW I got £650pcm housing benefit for myself and DS 5 years ago in Bournemouth where rents are half the price of London, do can believe someone with 3 DC could get £1k

You are very welcome, hubba. I didn't know why it was a rule either until ten minutes ago. Fascinating.

How old are your DC?

X posts

I sympathise with the OP. there are some people who work their arses off, in jobs which do not pay enough to give them a 'nice' lifestyle, but which do pay enough to put them over the limit for any state help. They have to pay full rent, council tax, school meals, dental fees etc and it often leaves them with less money than someone who works fewer hours and can claim all the state assistance. We need to stop people from taking the piss, so there is enough money in the pot for the people who genuinely need it.

OP, you have your own home, an education and a job. Those things are your achievements, so be proud of them. Stop thinking about your sister - that way madness lies.

This just feels like I'm being attacked, so think i am going to leave.

It is OK for you to attack your sister's lifestyle though. Sauce for the goose and all that.

We don't all get child benefit..... You do know that don't you?? It's mean tested...

No it's not - at least at the moment. Every child in the country receives child benefit (well, the parents do, but you know what I mean). Doesn't matter if you are a billionaire or on JSA. It is NOT currently means tested.

I'm on benefits and in huge debt. What difference dies it make that the debt is a mortgage and the benefit child benefit? Still means moral high ground inaccessible as far as I am concerned.

if she sold the house and kept the 13k and didnt declare it she is committing benefit fraud, which is wrong, yes.

so the "benefits gets you a better lifestyle than working argument" isn't appropriate here, get your moans right YABU