to feel this is disgusting?

[ILoveToPost01]

I made the decision to stop speaking to my next door neighbour, two years ago because of her erractic behaviour towards me and in general. Constant low level bukllying, damage to my property etc. I've had five anonymous malicious telephone calls made about me to various agencies - social services etc. The first call was to the council and the inexperienced officer let slip the first and surname of the caller.

I walked past this neighbour whom was walking with her two year old Grand Daughter and she waved to me. The Grand Mother said, "no, do not wave or speak to her, I've already told you we do not speak to her".

The little girl was being friendly and i waved back and smiled but i feel disgusted that this little girl will grow up to hate me, for nothing. I get on with everybody else and i am a quiet, considerate neighbour.

The reason for her being against me is a mystery to me but i could take no more of her strangeness and her low level bullying.

:(

Tell her you heard what she said to the child, and ask her politely why?

Yes, OP why can't you ask her why she doesn't like you?

ok, she sounds fairly unpleasant from what you'e said... but if you do not speak to her at all then it's not really that surprising that she feels the same is it?

i think it's a non-issue.
you want no contact with her, she wants no contact with you...

why would it disgust you that the neighbours (oh uou don't like) granddaughter gros up not liking you?

And if you made the decision to stop speaking to them (your neighbours) 2 years ago what are you expecting?

I don't follow what the problem actually is ?

*spelling stupid phone !

Also OP the grandmother is in the wrong to tell the child not to talk to you but what can you do? You can't control other's actions. If I were you I'd just wave and smile back/say hello to the child if and when you see her.

I have a neighbour like this. She calls me names to her kids and friends but changes her mind and decides she actually wants to be my friend? She literally follows me everytime I go out and constantly now pushes her kids to try get my DD to play.
I know her game and won't bite. I get on with my life as much as that might irritate her and just look forward to the day I find another place to live.

You can either approach her and ask her or ignore her.

Why is it disgusting?

You don't talk to them, they don't talk to you.

I don't see the problem?

I have asked her why she doesn't like me and does the things she does when i opened my door into the garden and she was throwing bags of household rubbish over my fence. She didn't answer. I asked her why she doesn't like me when she told me to move out of her way in the street once. Her reply was she does like me, the next morning my four car tyres were flat.
The neighbour next door but one told me it was jealousy - i didn't ask for her opinion or bring up the subject of her - as our car is new .

I really do think that her Grand Daughter who lives there is being told that i'm a horrid person, when i am not, i lived here 3 years before she has and had zero problems with anybody else.

I think it is very chilish and spiteful to make me out as being a vile human being to an innocent child and tp proclaim thses untruths loudly to her and everybody else within earshot.

I receive many loud ly voiced comments from her about me when im minding my own business in the garden too.

I guess IABU i shouldn't care, i tried ignoring her unpleasentness, be polite and friendly for five years until i could take no more of her strangeness.

I'm dreading the summer, her loud conversations and constant commentary of her life.

Take pictures (re incidents like rubbish dumping), take notes, record conversations if you can - for example if she's loudly chunnering about you over the fence, and take it to the police. Put in CCTV, or alternately, point a decent webcam out of the window in the front and back in case of more criminal damage, then at least you've proof.

Thank you for all of your replies so far:)

Sea fotunately the neighbour has not damaged my property etc for two years. It is her constant comments etc. ooh she's in the garden (i opened my door(, what is she doing now? the silly cow, reply from her daughter, reading a book - just constant:(

I've seriously considered getting a camera. Would the police take her constant remarks about me seriously? It does get to me and i rarely use my garden as a result.

I feel better already, as my caring about the little girlbeing turned against me may be irrational. Also the little girl might be a lovely person and make up her own mind, in future.

she sounds nuts. This is a big deal, unless people have experienced this they have no idea, especially if you think she is trying to cause trouble with phone calls to SS etc and it really can affect your well being. I had a neighbour like this, made veiled threats to report me to SS myself regarding my kids. I used to wonder why and what I had done to her and then realised she was just nuts and had serious issues. Avoid her but make a record of anything crazy she does just in case. I actually phoned SS and the police as I wasn't going to let her think she had all the power and strangely when SS learned who she was, they were much more interested in what I had to say about her.

It is a big deal sozzle and really affected my well being. I still suffer...Many people who know the full catalogue of events have said they would have reacted violently. I have not and she is not ruining any hope of a future for me via a criminal record!

Thanks for the details of your personal experiences, MNetter's :)

I did see a documentary recently where the neighbour ended up in prison due to his harrassment of the neighbours, and a major part of it was him causing stress by hiding behind the hedge and whistling and shouting and singing things at them every time they left the house. They got him on CCTV. It is harrassment and awfully upsetting. I tihnk they took the evidence to the police who issued an ASBO for the behaviour and he kept breaking it and ended up inside. He came out and moved away.

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this - I know first hand how awful it is living next door to Malice (as I always called it :( )

I ended up going to the police, who told me to keep a diary, even of seemingly innocuous things, and to photograph any further criminal damage done by her. They also told me that if she pitched up on my doorstep and wouldn't leave, to dial 999(!!!!) If it's affecting you physically/emotionally etc, please mention it to your doctor.

For the last few years I lived there, I couldn't go in my garden either, as the moment I did she was out there, playing her loud love songs to my DH and shit like that. I even tried hanging washing out at feck'o'clock to avoid her - and minutes later, there she'd be. It is horrible.

I hope she lays off soon, or better yet, is brought to account for her cuntychopness. Strength and peace to you, ILoveToPost x

I deal with this a lot in my job and you have my sympathies.

It is possible (from what you said) that your neighbour has a MH condition and it doesn't matter who you are, she would take against you. So it's probably not personal.

I would keep a journal of incidents and if there is any shouting or abuse, try to record it. I assume this is not LA housing? If so, you should report her. If she is renting report her to the landlord (if you can find out who it is) report her to the LL. As luna says the police will intervene if you are abused or frightened, alarmed or distressed by her behaviour.

Thank you taxi

I shallkeep a journal of all comments/incidents from now on.

Taxi is spot on and these sort of people usually have form at the previous address.

But, tbh, you have no right to expect any form of positive communication, even surface, with her Grandchild.

I?ve had nearly two decades of harassment, criminal damage and false accusation from my neighbour. She?s care in the community, and the community doesn?t care.

I tried so hard to be decent in the face of her vitriol for so long, but then she started on my children. She?s extreme including physically attacking the police and her latest malicious claim is I have attacked her cutting open her head. This is her latest ?excuse? for jumping out at me screaming abuse. People think I must have done something, but I haven?t. She?s been through court and we did have a year of peace when she was bound over for the year, but it restarted soon after.

It?s very wearing and at this point I?ve CCTV stopping her coming and banging on my windows, and erected a 6?6? fence, but I?m not looking forward to summer and the running commentary and abuse. The worst though, is knowing that she will die alone and unnoticed or cared about, until a continuous lack of abuse makes someone, probably me, realise.

I may have missed this but why don;t you just move?

just move? why should OP be harrassed out of her property. She pre-dates the neighbour.

Yes, i do pre-date the neighbour. The other neigbours think she is strange. I keep myself to myself now, i shop miles away, so as not to bump into anybody. I dread having to mow my front garden and clean my car as she always makes a point of coming out and sits and watches. I am intimidate3d. My friend says she woiuld cause trouble where ever she lives.

Harrassment is dreadful, the constant comments you describe are very nasty.

I do think she sounds mentally ill. Not sure what exactly, but maybe you could google her symptoms and it might throw back a diagnosis and some suggestions about coping with nutter?

Sorry OP my net connection disappeared, before i could finish my post! I meant to say, yes i go through the same thing as you. The best thing is to do what i do. ?Do not speak to her or her family/visitors. Do not look at her or in her direction. Keep a diary and speak to somebody ie - the police. If you find yourself being very emotionally affected seek outside help. I am not moving out of my house because of some loon.