To be sad so many folk are rude / unpleasant?

[Whiteybaby]

Ok I realise I may be about to sound like a sanctimonious old woman!! I promise I'm not but DH is watching various sports on tv and I have been thinking about this all day!

There have been a couple of incidents recently where I have seen people acting massively rudely and / or aggressively towards others. Nothing life threatening but unpleasant none the less. One example was a young lad (maybe 9?) who was jumping around and jeering in front of a lady who was just walking minding her own business! Another a speeding van who when waved at to slow as children around gave a pretty offensive wave back of his own!

I just think its pretty sad as a mum of two young kids that some people think this is ok and that this is how life is now? I was brought up in a small rural community as a kid and taught to be thoughtful and kind towards others. We all seem so self focussed these days. What do you do as a parent to ensure that your children become the kind of people you would like them to be??

See, my mam is great at dealing with the likes of bargers in and door droppers by loudly stating 'what a rude man' or the like in earshot of the whole fecking shop the perpetrator. Unfortunately she is then cringingly patronising to shop assistants and waitresses. Hard one to sort.

Especially as an example to her grandchildren.

I think it was Fred Astaire who said 'the greatest challenge kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any' or words to that effect, becomes more and more true every day sadly

Everyone is different and have different views as to what politeness is. Some people just do not give a fig about what people have deemed to be the way we have to behave around others. imo it is a good thing. cannot stand sheeple

mini do you think it is being sheepie then to treat people with respect and kindness? To hold a door open for a few seconds so that some one can pass through? To let someone out on a busy junction or accept a waved apology if a person makes a poor judgement in a vehicle? To apologise for speeding down a narrow lane rather than hurl abuse at a mother with a buggy who asks you to slow up?

I think (or would like to think) most people are generally polite, but there is a growing minority who are becoming increasingly agressive and selfish in their attitudes, seem to think that no one else's feeling or opinions matter. Unfortunately it's the contact we have with these types that remains in our memories rather than the pleasant interaction.

My last run in was a couple of weeks ago, crossing a road having checked it was clear, only to have a van screech round a corner, have to slow down to stop knocking me over and have the woman passenger wind down the window and shriek 'Get out of the fucking road you fucking c.' Nice. Totally uncalled for and for some reason made me feel a bit weepy.

Why do people behave like that? Dunno. Wish they wouldn't though.

Mini - I think the world would become a very nasty place indeed if everyone just did what they liked regardless of how it affected other people. There has to be at least a show of concern for others.

Hope you're not teaching your offspring that they can do what they like and it doesn't matter how they behave around others.

It matters. A lot.

I think you have to actively teach children to be polite and think of others. For example, I've told my children (now 6 and 8) to look someone in the eye when you say thank you, otherwise a mumbled 'ffnk u' is not always heard. I send them on little missions to pay for things in shops, using the right change, and interacting nicely, similarly in restauraunts, if you don't speak clearly and politely your order to the waitress, you don't get it! It's not about fake niceness, just making the world a slightly easier place to be in, looking about you to see who is walking in the street, stepping aside for children/older people, holding a door for the next person (not a gender thing), and being polite.

I do find most people pleasant and nice, with only the odd wanker. However, I have noticed lots of children (including my own at times) are really cheeky or rude, and don't mind being loud and swearing in public (or telling each other to look at porn videos on the train, another fun outing on public transport). I want my children, even if they get in with a crowd, to know that this is not right.

I'm not saying they don't exist, but I very rarely come across rude people. For the most part I find people kind and very polite. People smile at my DS, hold doors for the buggy, say sorry even if I happen to be in the wrong. I live in an area that has a reputation for being "rough" and yet the children are just lovely. Recently I was in the park with toddler DS and some kids, aged about 10/11 were playing with a ball and generally being a bit boisterous. One of the boys threw the ball a bit near to DS and the other boy said "Oi, watch it, there's a baby right there!" then turned and said sorry to me. Later one of them said "shit!" (having fallen down) and another boy said "Don't swear, there's a baby who can hear you!" It was so sweet. They deliberately moved to a different part of the park as they were so worried about DS.

Another time a little girl about 10 helped me when I was looking after DS and a friend's rather spirited DD in the park. The DD was struggling to get away while I was trying to hold onto DS so the little girl offered to play with her for a while until I had DS sorted out. She was kind, polite and lovely.

These are the same children who will be sneered by so-called respectable people for their strong regional accent and for coming from a "bad" area. As they grow up they will be expected to show respect to people who have no respect for them because their parents have low-paid jobs or are on benefits. I hope they hang on to their lovely natures but I could see how they wouldn't.

When I worked in a newsagent the worst offenders for rudeness were middle-aged men. They would cut the queue, pick up a paper and literally throw the money at me as I was trying to serve a different customer then walk out of the shop. They were so incredibly important there was no possible way they could wait like everyone else and actually treat me like a human being.

I'm glad I wasn't the only one to pick up on the sheep.
I had a good one today at nursery. There is a gate between the garden and the main gate. DCs had run ahead of me and proudly opened the gate. Cue two mums who just walked straight through chatting away, ignoring the fact that the gate had miraculously opened right in front of them without them having to touch it. I did praise the DCs quite loudly for being polite and letting people through...

glitter well done to your dc! Hope they werent too offended by their rudeness! I definitely think it is partly due to society being so individual now and everyone for themselves. When people actually know each other and notice the people around them then they become more aware of acts of kindness. I also think that being thoughtful towards someone may then make them thoughtful to someone else.. Bit like a smile which spreads! Not sure if I am making much sense though!