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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have said something to this childminder

23 replies

festi · 22/02/2012 16:39

picking dd up today and I was walking behind a cm who picks up from school, she had a toddler walking holding onto puschair, he fell and she seemed not to notice and continued halk walking half running as the child was just dragged alog on his knees untill he managed to find his footing. He did cry out and was then sobbing rubbing his knees, so Im failed to see how she had not noticed when he was crying.

She did not even look at the child or see he was ok, she litterally made no contact with him what so ever. she the left the pushchair and toddler still sobbing and rubbing his knees, not just crying, but the breath catching sobbing they do when hurt etc. And she ran out of the school gate completely out of sight to talk with someone.

she was out the gate for some minutes and then came back and still did not make any contact with the child, so I pointed out to her that he had fallen and maybe she had not noticed but as he was quite distressed it may be nice to at least check his knee to reasure him or at least talk to him. I felt so sorry for the little boy I didn't feel I could just witness that without pulling her up on it. She was increadably arsey with me, but I suspect she then realised she was out of order.

OP posts:
Cherriesarelovely · 22/02/2012 16:40

I think you did the right thing festi poor little boy.

feedbackforfree · 22/02/2012 16:40

Course your not being unreasonable. Good for you for mentioning it. If I left my child with her, I would be looking for a new childminder!

Cherriesarelovely · 22/02/2012 16:41

I know feedback what an absolutely horrible thought!

EauDeLaPoisson · 22/02/2012 16:43

No you weren't.
I had to remove my kids from the care of their childminder due to similar issues. At least she has the chance to realise people are aware of the fact she is acting inappropriately to kids

FeedingTheBirds · 22/02/2012 16:43

I think you did the right thing, poor little boy.

festi · 22/02/2012 16:43

I know I did actually say to her I was glad she was not looking after my dd.

OP posts:
nobodyspecial · 22/02/2012 16:43

NO! Infact, I'd like to know if this is the kind of person I was leaving my child with. Imagine what other accidents may go unnoticed with her?

OriginalJamie · 22/02/2012 16:45

good for you festi

If I saw this thing again, I'd be inclined to tell the mother

festi · 22/02/2012 16:46

that is a good point OJ but I dont know the toddler or the mother. But thinking about it even more I would want to know if that where my child.

OP posts:
EauDeLaPoisson · 22/02/2012 16:48

Yep please tell the mother. I wish someone had told me or I'd have listened to my daughter. Sad

porcamiseria · 22/02/2012 16:50

what a cxxt. I really hate CM like this.

OriginalJamie · 22/02/2012 16:51

Oh, yes, I appreciate you might not know the mum.
Hopefully this CM will show a bit more thought, and realise someone sees how she behaves .....

porcamiseria · 22/02/2012 16:51

eau thats awful, what happended????? I had a nasty run in with my ex CM too, but not as bad as this

she was mean and horrible to ME

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 22/02/2012 16:52

not just the falling and hurting himself (which could happen to any child) but not noticing then failing to comfort him...

she goes off and leaves them out of sight

I know if they are in a school playground they'd be safe (or I'd hope so) but they're not her children to leave, they are in her care

Sad Shock

thisisyesterday · 22/02/2012 16:54

good god, do you know the mother? if that was my chld i would want to know

fuzzPigwickPapers · 22/02/2012 16:54

That's shocking, no YANBU at all.

What did she actually say?

OriginalJamie · 22/02/2012 16:54

OTOH, I have told someone how lovely their CM is with their children.

I used to get upset by a CM who picked up a child in DS1s Nursery class. She never smiled at him, was brusque and unwelcoming every day. I felt very sorry for that little boy. Thankfully, she didn't last all that long

EauDeLaPoisson · 22/02/2012 16:55

First of all dd told me she had smacked her when asked age said she 'tapped' her to stop her rolling on another child. Then she said she hated going as she pushes her out the way if shes taking too long walking to school then the last straw was two weeks ago when dd said she hurt her in the ribs when trying to stop her pushing through. I know dd is a bugger at times and I don't think it was done for any other reason than trying to control her but still she's a c@&t hurting kids in her care.

TroublesomeEx · 22/02/2012 16:55

I would mention it to the mum.

I've had 3 CMs. One was brilliant, one filled a gap until something better came along, one was good enough but not 'perfect' for us.

None of them would have done that.

festi · 22/02/2012 17:13

thats terrible eau, sounds like she was very impatatient, not the type of person to be looking after children.

She is friends with my dds CM so I just aked dd if the boy is a sibling of anyone in her school and dd seems to think not.

She just said she did ask if he was ok, and he is tired as he has had a very busy day. I said that was no excuss to blatently ignore him and more reason to comfort him. I pointed out she had not aknowledged he had fallen and had pulled him along on his knees. That had rushed off leaving him so upset and as he was still crying when she returned she still had not spoken a word or even looked at him, and yet even now with someone pointing it out still had not spoken to him and that he was rubbing his knee so all she had to do was look at his knee and reasure him he was O.K. she then said she had rushed out to talk to x as their dh had been in hospital. She then said I did ask if he was ok, then she said to the boy, I did ask if you where ok, didnt I and he just shook his head. she then rushed off.

OP posts:
EauDeLaPoisson · 22/02/2012 17:16

She is quite old and takes on a lot. I hope for everybody's sake she retires soon

ujjayi · 22/02/2012 17:22

Eau - have you made a complaint about your ex-CM? Sounds like it might be a good idea. Your DD may not be the only one on the receiving end of vile behaviour.

south345 · 22/02/2012 17:24

Do you know her name? I think i'd report it to ofsted if I knew her name

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