AIBU to want another child?

[topbannana]

I have been with OH for 6 years and there is some gap between us (he is 60, I am 35 which sounds quite shocking now I have written it down I have a DS who is nearly 8 that we are currently in the process of going through step-parent adoption with, OH has 2 grown up kids and 2 grandchildren younger than DS [hmmm] OH still works full time and is in every way still fit and active, hardly an impending pensioner by any means. We both work, DS is happy and well adjusted and we lead a full and interesting life.

For sometime we have discussed having a child (while being aware it may not be as easy as all that!) but it has never quite happened. Now it seems the time is now or never but AIBU to bring a child into the world with an "older father"? I personally believe that to have a loving father is in every way a benefit, compared to the children who are either abandoned by their father or are subjected to a string of temporary and unsuitable stepfathers.

Don't get me wrong, if it doesn't happen then we will count our blessings that we have the family we already have and I can at least say that we tried and I am not about to embark on a course of expensive fertility drugs or anything else, rather let Nature take its course (or not as the case may be) Its just yesterday I overheard a conversation regarding a similar situation and the general idea was that it was dreadfully irresponsible. Serves me right for eavesdropping I suppose :o

YANBU. Good luck! :)

More importantly, how does your partner feel about the idea? You say you've discussed it, but not said how he feels.

Op, I don't think it's anybody else's business but yours and your DH. If you love each other, want and would love the baby, then why not. Your DH could conceivably live for another 10/20/30/40 years. Nobody knows for definite. Nobody knows for definite how long any of us will live. I can't imagine that there are many people out there who would rather not be born than lose a parent! Nobody know what is round the next corner. If you both want it, do it.

Thanks for that folks. DH is keen to go ahead but (perhaps understandably!) is not so concerned if it were not to happen than I would be. As I said its something that will happen if it is meant to, if not then I will not collpase into a teeth gnashing, sobbing heap. The child being left fatherless at a younger age has been our main concern but as already mentioned, DH could go on until the child is well grown. From my point of view, I was fatherless from the age of about 12 (though my father is still alive today ) with very little effect as he was never much of a father. I understand our personal experiences influence our opinions but I would far rather have had him as a loving and attentive father who died when I was young than the useless waste of space who was with me all through my formative years.
Im not normally prone to self doubt but the eavesdropped conversation did make me pause for thought. I always expected any child to be teased for having an "old" father (rather like I was teased for being short and my brother for being tall- if its not one thing its another with kids) but had not considered the prejudices may go so much further.
So off to buy candles and oysters now