to ask why its such a great compliment if someone says "you don't look like you have children"

[MistyMountainHop]

i have had this said to me before - admittedly, and sadly, not for years a long while :( - and took it as a great compliment at the time

and i Bet no one ever says it to men

grrrr!

I think it means that you look clean, not.with breakfast etc smeared on you or snot etc :)

Why did you take it as a compliment years ago OP?

I think they mean that your body is in good shape so doesn't look like you've been pregnant which also explains why it isn't said to men.

not really sure worra thats why i'm asking :o

I used to get this a lot after DS.

It meant my hair didn't look like it had been dried by the car heater, if at all.
It meant I didn't looked knackered.
It meant I was still 8st 3 with a 24 inch waist and a nice flat stomach.
It meant I still occasionally turned men's heads.
and it meant I still looked cool.

I haven't had it once since DD.

people at work often say (positive) things to me because I am smartly dressed with blow dried hair and some make up on. There is this weird conspiracy amongst some women to make motherhood seem like the end of life as a pulled together adult. Even on the days I am not at work it is still possible to shower and dress well with a toddler and baby in the house. Yes, we all have occasional bad days but I think this sort of understanding /expectation that mums must be unable to pull it together is pretty rubbish (I am excluding new mums from this - it takes a while to get over that run over by a bus feeling )

I get this a lot.

I'm with trixie123 on this one.

And yes, mums of new babies - you are excused!

On one occasion I was on the beach with DS who was probably about 11 months old at the time and I was wearing a bikini. Someone I vaguely knew said to me, "oh, you must have adopted your son then" whilst staring pointedly at my nearly-naked body .... I suppose he meant it as a compliment but I found it really creepy and invasive. So I should have been a size 30 and wearing a tent JUST BECAUSE I'D HAD A BABY NEARLY A YEAR AGO should I???? No??? There you go then.

OP, I know exactly why this makes you go ggrrrr!

There is this weird conspiracy amongst some women to make motherhood seem like the end of life as a pulled together adult

^ That^

what she said.

yes. i think its that that bothers me about this particular "compliment".

a bit like some of the twats friends i have on fb that post that godawful chain status about how they have exchanged eyeliner for bags under their eyes, designer handbags for changing bags, etc etc and that makes them The Most Amazing Mummmmeeee

I would take it to mean you still have a nice figure,less wrinkles,no grey hairs. Obvs if you have no kids,no visible signs of stress yeah right

i get that.i take it as compliment because thats how its ment(whilst suggesting they go to specsavers as they obviously have missed the huge bags under my eyes and stress lines).
why can't women take compliments well?

I very nearly started this thread last week after I was told a couple of times that I "don't look like I've got 4 kids".

What is someone who had got 4 kids supposed to look like?

buckbuck knackered I guess!!

It means you had babies and grew humans in you but got away without any extra weight, stretch marks or signs that you have done it.

upahill.

I must be doing a better job at trowelling doing my make up than I realised because I am knackered. All of the time.

I get that, and I take it to mean that I don't look fat. Or when it comes out as 'you don't look old enough to have a child in secondary school' I like to take it as a you don't look middle aged compliment.

The fact that I had my children in my early twenties so my body found it easy to recover is irrelevant.

It means you don't look tired, greasy haired, un made up, poorly coordinated, a bit fat, slightly saggy, greying, doughy skin texture, droopy tummy an tits, wearing flat shoes, machine washable outfit (stained) with some pony tail, pulling a trolley of crapnbehind you. Like me.

But not always. Sometimes I get glam. Gives friends fright of their life. Haha.