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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I complained this woman and it may result in the police being called..

104 replies

Fisharefriendsnotfood · 22/02/2012 13:03

Dropping the kids to nursery this morning I saw a woman leave her dc aged about 4 in the car while she brought younger dc in to nursery. She left the car window open and the engine running!!!

I nearly said something but she looked so angry I chickened out though. So, this afternoon I had a word with nursery manager about it and she said that she saw this herself one day last week and had a word with the mother but obviously nothing has changed.

Nursery manager is going to have another word and failing that we agreed that the police should probably be informed.

So, am I an interferring old cow? Car out of sight and mum gone about 5 mins.

OP posts:
SanctiMoanyArse · 22/02/2012 13:39

True, so maximising risk by leaving a child with the key is pretty dim on that basis, and the necessity (if that is how it is perceived) of leaving teh child unattended was made worse in terms of risk by the way in which it was handled.

cakewench · 22/02/2012 13:43

I wouldn't leave a child like that.. I certainly wouldn't leave one with the engine running. :o (but then, I'd never leave my car running, see any thread re: warming up the engine. I grew up in a big city in the US and that's just got Free Car! written all over it)

I can, however, see that doing this probably saves her a lot of time. :( If she locked the car up and turned off the engine, really there's very little that could happen to the child in a presumably busy area with other parents dropping off children.

My answer would change if we were in the US or another country potential for very hot weather. A child should never be left in a car for any period of time, even minutes, once the temperature is too warm/hot. It's too easy to think you're running in for a minute and have it turn into 10 or more, and the consequences are terrible. Actually I'll stop now, can get quite soapboxy on that topic.

I'm not sure it's worth going to the police over it, but she really should be turning the engine off for the reasons given above.

SoupDragon · 22/02/2012 13:45

How on earth can anyone think that leaving the car window open is safeguarding your child when you have left the engine running??

Yes, I've left my children in the car whilst I can see it but I am not stupid enough to do it with the engine running.

altinkum · 22/02/2012 13:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littleducks · 22/02/2012 13:45

Whats the difference between keys in or out for the handbrake? Do some cars not allow you to take the handbrake off with the keys out, I have never driven one like that

aldiwhore · 22/02/2012 13:45

I have a 4yr old, he is perfectly capable of getting out of his seat, taking off the handbrake, so potentially could also cause some damage to himself if the engine's running, I really would not be surprised if my son was able to put the car in gear and speed off! YANBU to be concerned, its pretty irresponsible.

Leaving a smaller, more sedate child locked in a well ventilated car that has no keys in the ignition for a few minutes at nursery drop off in a private car park... that's more acceptable.

MY 4 year old took off his seat belt and tried to get out of the back window whilst we're travelling at 70mph down the motorway... that made me realise that perhaps leaving him unattended in a car (keys or not, engine running or not) was probably not a great idea.

SoupDragon · 22/02/2012 13:46

"The woman is being seen to minimise risk"

Leaving the engine running is not minimising risk.

NotWell · 22/02/2012 13:47

God about half of the Mums at our nursery do it....

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 22/02/2012 13:49

Altinkum, just because she has minimised one risk doesn't mean she has minimised all of them.

I would be really interested in what the police do have to say about it if they were called.

SlightlyJaded · 22/02/2012 13:49

I left DC 5 & 6 in the car the other day for less than 5 minutes to get milk from Tesco Metro. I could see the car the whole time and the DC absolutely know NEVER to open the window or door for anybody as I have filled their little heads with the horror of what might happen and they now believe the world to be teeming with baddies

As I was paying, I saw two police officers stop at the car and have a look about. I came out of the shop and was promptly told that if they ever came across DC in car they would smash the window and remove them Shock

I told the officers that I could see the car the whole time but then had to leave as they were telling me I was irresponsible and I was getting v.upset and angry and was either about to scream at them or burst in to tears.

So they do take it seriously. Or at least where I live (which is a leafy suburban very safe borough FWIW)

LilacWaltz · 22/02/2012 13:49

Soup... I agree with you! Minimising risk? The car engine is running so how is it minimising risk leaving a child in an illegally parked vehicle? It's dangerous.

SlightlyJaded · 22/02/2012 13:49

Sorry - should have said, engine off, doors locked

Original poster
Fisharefriendsnotfood · 22/02/2012 13:50

I think the open window was because she was smoking in the car as she pulled up, but thought I'd be accused of extra judgy pants if I mentioned that Grin

OP posts:
diddl · 22/02/2012 13:54

"I came out of the shop and was promptly told that if they ever came across DC in car they would smash the window and remove them Shock"

Why the shock?

You were in the shop-the officers didn´t know how long you had been gone or how much longer you would be.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 22/02/2012 13:56

You should never leave the keys in / ignition on for another reason, there was a news story a few years ago about a child who was in a car with the ignition on and electric windows active. The child climbed on the door handle and stuck their head out of the window, put their knee on the electric window button, shut his neck in the window and died.

altinkum · 22/02/2012 13:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeWe · 22/02/2012 13:58

They take it seriously round here. A couple of years ago the police received a report to say someone was leaving their child regularly in a locked car for about 5-10 minutes while they dropped off.

The police not only spoke to her, but they patrolled at that time frequently for the next few weeks to check she wasn't doing it again.

SlightlyJaded · 22/02/2012 13:58

The shock because they didn't say they'd 'wait 5 minutes' or ask DC to wind down window (DD knows my mobile number by heart and is perfectly capable of telling them that I in Tesco and pointing me out).

The implication was that they would see the children and smash the window. Straight away.

I do not leave DC in car if I can't see them form where I ever I am going. And would not leave for more than 5 minutes. I thought the response was a bit over zealous

LilacWaltz · 22/02/2012 14:00

altinkum what is a 'children's court'?

diddl · 22/02/2012 14:03

"I do not leave DC in car if I can't see them form where I ever I am going. And would not leave for more than 5 minutes. "

But they don´t know that.

I don´t understand why people ever leave children in cars tbh.

ScarlettCrossbones · 22/02/2012 14:07

Just wondering if it might have been a Renault - they've got cards rather than keys and you can start the engine, take the card out and walk away, with the engine still running ... if someone then tries to drive off in it, it'll grind to a halt once it's a certain distance away from the keycard - I don't know, 50 yds or so.

It does still seem an irresponsible thing to do though, I'm not minimising it, just curious.

Sad WhoKnows, that's awful.

Original poster
Fisharefriendsnotfood · 22/02/2012 14:09

No Scarlett, could see the keys dangling from the ignition

OP posts:
ScarlettCrossbones · 22/02/2012 14:10

Unforgiveable then, imo.

aldiwhore · 22/02/2012 14:14

A lot can happen in 50yds surely? My son would LOVE a car like that...

SlightlyJaded agree it seems like an over reaction, however the police don't have time to sit and debate all possibilities. They have no idea how long the children have already been in the car, nor when you'll be back... so their warning should be enough shouldn't it? I guess in practice, they'd wait a minute or so before risking harming a child with broken glass... maybe they were just articulating that it really isn't acceptable any more.

The only time I leave my (older) child in the car is at the petrol station, whilst I'm filling up, he then comes with me to pay (unless I pay at pump). I used to leave him in the car as a baby, because HE couldn't do any damage/get out of his seat... the car was locked and I could see it... for some reason I still think that's okay when its not okay outside a shop. Don't know why!

SlightlyJaded · 22/02/2012 14:36

Actually I haven't left them since then

Lots of winging about getting out of the car to pop into get 'boooooring milk' but it gave me a start.

I do think my children are safe if I can see them, the car is locked and I am 10 seconds from being at the side of the car. They are further away from me and more exposed to potential strangers on other occasions: inside some shops/the library/downstairs whilst I am upstairs (they know not to open the front door but not such a different scenario to opening a car door) etc etc