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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to keep hinting until my mum has my kids?!

19 replies

LingDiLong · 22/02/2012 12:05

So my parents are saddled blessed with 10 grandchildren of varying ages. For a while now it has been tradition for my folks to have each grandchild over for a sleepover on their birthday which the kids all really enjoy. My eldest 2 have birthdays a couple of weeks apart in January and so far have always had joint sleepovers. This year my mum seems to have forgotten about them completely though. She's had the birthday child prior to my 2 over to stay and is now planning the next birthday child's sleepover this weekend. I (and my kids) aren't particularly pushy sorts but when my mum first mentioned this I suggested that she could make it a joint sleepover with my 2 if she liked to 'kill 3 birds with 1 stone'. It was my clumsy way of hinting I suppose. She said she might just do that. A few days later and she's forgotten again and when I just spoke to her is back to planning this weekends sleepover with just the 1 birthday child.

I feel really upset. Daftly upset. My kdis are 5 and 7 so old enough to twig they may be missing out but not quite old enough to be guaranteed to point this out in front of their grandparents. Why is my mum passing them over like this? Should I just forget about it or keep hinting/asking until my parents invite them over?

OP posts:
EauDeLaPoisson · 22/02/2012 12:08

Ask her outright that's what I do. You may get pithy excuses though if anything like my parents be warned!
Saying that I wouldn't want my kids to sleepover on their birthday I like to spend the whole day with them

MrsCarriePooter · 22/02/2012 12:08

Stop hinting, just say "Do you want to have my two over for a birthday sleepover, or would you rather not this year?" If she says yes, then arrange a date.

Flubba · 22/02/2012 12:08

Can you not just ask her straight out?

TubbyDuffs · 22/02/2012 12:08

Instead of playing games, why not just ask her right out if she has forgotten to have the boys for their birthday, or if she is planning on having them over. Why can't you just ask her outright?

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 22/02/2012 12:08

I would ask her straight out.

LingDiLong · 22/02/2012 12:10

Eau, it's never actually on their birthdays - or rarely. Usually the weekend before or after.

My parents are great usually, very loving and involved. I can't help but feel that as the other 7 grandchildren are more pushy and demanding, mine sometimes miss out. That maybe my parents know really they've missed them out but are hoping they can just get away with it as it's 2 less sleepovers they'll have to do.

Right, I'll grab the bull by the horns next time I speak to them.

OP posts:
grobagsforever · 22/02/2012 12:10

Ask her. There will be a simple explanation.

Ephiny · 22/02/2012 12:11

I wouldn't mess about hinting and playing games. Either ask her straight if she'd like to have them over, or leave it up to her to invite them or not as she chooses.

LingDiLong · 22/02/2012 12:11

I don't actually know why I'm shying away from just asking her! If I'm honest I feel a bit pissed that I have to ask. She knows when their bloody birthdays are! I will ask though and stop mincing around like a big pussy.

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 22/02/2012 12:11

As politely and directly. Be open and say 'I need to ask you this as I keep wprrying there's a problem'. She probably is just forgetting (though agree its odd) but give her the opportunity to speak up if there is an issue.

Sounds like you need to force her hand here.

I was going to say YABU and recite the MN mantra regarding entitlement and how you shouldn't 'expect' free child care from your family etc etc., but actually if your mum is doing this for all the other children, YANBU to expect it to be done (or at least explained why not) for yours too.

PurpleRomanesco · 22/02/2012 12:12

Speak to her.

Just be honest and ask why she has forgotten your two. It could all be a big mix up but you will never know unless you talk about it.

No hints!

BlueFergie · 22/02/2012 12:12

Why don't you just ask her?

PurpleRomanesco · 22/02/2012 12:12

X post with everybody

LingDiLong · 22/02/2012 12:14

Oh, I've got a good idea. Shall I just ask her? Grin

Thanks, point taken and I will ask outright.

OP posts:
PurpleRomanesco · 22/02/2012 12:16

Wonderful idea! :o

SpecialBranch · 22/02/2012 12:20

Sounds like a plan Grin

YWBU not to come back and tell us what she says though Smile

imnotmymum · 22/02/2012 12:21

get the kids to ask she cannot say no !!!!

TroublesomeEx · 22/02/2012 13:00

Not sure if anyone else has suggested this, but you could just ask... Grin

GlueSticksEverywhere · 27/02/2012 13:10

What did she say?

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