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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that DD(5) is DELIBERATELY trying to undermine my confidence?

45 replies

MsVestibule · 22/02/2012 10:17

Last week, I was watching the TV with DD when a John Frieda advert came on. She stared at the swishy haired lady on the telly and said wistfully "I wish that was my Mam". After seeing my face, she quickly backtracked and said she wanted two mammies, and I could be the other one Hmm.

This morning, I was taking her to school and she announced she wanted to be a doctor or nurse when she grows up. I replied "Oh yes, they're good jobs, DD. You'll have to work hard with your reading and sums to be a nurse/doctor". Her reply was "So, if you don't work hard, you just become a mammy?".

Now, before I became a SAHM to my 2 LOs, I DID work for 20 years, sleeping working my way up to a relatively senior(ish) position. I've told her I used to go to work, and that other mums also WOH, because I want her to know that she has plenty of options in life, and being a mum is only one of them.

Also, (and more importantly, IMO) my hair IS swishy on the day I wash it.

So, do I get my own back by telling her her legs are too skinny and her hair is too blonde?

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 22/02/2012 14:22

Giraffes - when I was briefly a SAHM (mat leave for DC2) I once had to bribe DS to stop being a limpet and go into his classroom (YR) nicely, by agreeing to him staying for after school care Confused.

hermionestranger · 22/02/2012 14:29

DS also always wants to go to after school and holiday club! Mad eh? He's been to holiday club a few times for half a day in the summer hols but only because it was a nice activity rathe than childcare. He may change his tube come september once he realises he has no choice but to go on days when I'm in! Grin

BabyGiraffes · 22/02/2012 14:29

Yes, I have also used after school care as a treat for good behaviour Grin Hmm

GooseyLoosey · 22/02/2012 14:32

WOHMs are deffinitely a disappointment to my dd. She has often asked if I can stay at home. ds is cannier and says that if I did that I would be even grumpier than I am now:)

crystalglasses · 22/02/2012 14:33

When my dd was about 5, her career aspirations were to spend half of her working day working in a sweet shop and the other half as a dentist. And no, she hadn't seen any connection between the two, it was just that they were her favourite 2 occupations.

She also referred to 'mummy's kitchen' even though dh was virtually a househusband and did all the cooking.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 22/02/2012 14:43

Ds aged 5 has wanted to be a ninja for about a year now. I have a list of targets ready for when he's fully trained ....

stealthsquiggle · 22/02/2012 14:45

it was the particular combination of "I don't want to go to school" with "but I will if you let me stay longer" (in effect - he, at 4, didn't see it that way) which had me Confused.

My DC view holiday clubs etc as a neccesary evil, but no doubt if I were a SAHM and they were off the menu then they would be the best thing ever, and I would be a cruel and heartless mother for not letting them go.

DerbysKangaskhan · 22/02/2012 15:11

My DS (7) told me that I was a good mummy because I tell him what to do Hmm .

OrmIrian · 22/02/2012 15:15

I shall repeat DS2s classic to make you feel better OP:

One day we were walking to the library together. He was 8 and he was holding my hand and I was relishing the feeling, knowing that fairly soon he would stop doing so and as he's my youngest I was feeling a bit nostalgic. So I sighed and said:

"DS I do love you, you know"

And he replied: "Not as much..." as I love...pigeons".

Original poster
MsVestibule · 22/02/2012 15:56

Pigeons? Pigeons?. At least he could have chosen a more exotic bird, might have made you feel a bit better.

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 22/02/2012 16:19

I know, I know...Sad

But as he likes all animals a great deal better than people I guess a pigeon is pretty good Grin

mummymeister · 22/02/2012 16:29

DD1 wants to be a banker, DD2 wants to do any job so long as it doesnt mean getting up early in the morning or having to do anything too hard and DS1 wants to be Jeremy Clarkson or sell weapons to people - we sell any weapon dot com and he even has a logo and brochure for it! best line ever when asked what makes your mummy different from a n other girls in the class and DS said i was the fattest mummy at school.

flibbertywidget · 22/02/2012 16:49

OP. I am a WOHM. My DD told me I was 60 the other day (she is 4 and 10 months). I am was a sprightly 40yr old. she keeps repeating it, obviously the sight of my crestfallen face once, wasn't enough.

my DB and I used to call my mum Madam Menopause, we even made up a song, that we would sing loudly in shopping centres and out of the car window..

BabyGiraffes · 22/02/2012 17:03

My dd was convinced I just turned 14 Grin. Did not correct her Grin.

TroublesomeEx · 22/02/2012 17:05

Conversation just had:

me "DD, what do you want to be when you grow up"

DD "a mummy"

me "do you want a job as well"

DD "no. I need to look after my baby".

I've never been a SAHM (until now that I've had it forced upon me) perhaps she's trying to tell me something!!!

leftmymistletoeatthedoor · 22/02/2012 17:15

Ds used to want to grow up to be a strawberry. Now he wants to work in greggs a posh bakery and be a spaceman on thursdays and a doctor on fridays. Hed also quite like to be a builder.

He once said 'mummy, you just do all the boring stuff all day don't you? Like change dd's nappies and wipe up her (refluxy) sick and give her bottles and wipe my bum and go to tesco' . I didn't know whether to cry or applaud him for his accuracy.

OriginalJamie · 22/02/2012 17:23

This was my poem to my mum, aged 10 (me not her):

A mother who loves you
A mother who cares
A mother who cleans and dusts the stairs
A mother who will always be true
I tell you mummy : "I love you"

CockyPants · 22/02/2012 20:48

Relieved to hear that I'm not the only SAHM whose child told me "why don't you get a job so that I can go to breakfast and after school club?"
Just can't win...

ParanoidAnnie · 22/02/2012 21:09

My DD1 said at the weekend

'when you are really really old and can't even walk, will you give me the house and car so I don't have to work'!

Didn't know whether to laugh or cry !!!

redwineformethanks · 22/02/2012 21:15

How about "When you die, can I have your jewellery?" !

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