I was BU to let this bother me wasnt I?

[WhiteTrash]

I have two lovely, awsome friends who Ive known and loved for years. Just recently we all got pregnant at the same time, so we all have babies the same age. 8 months, 9 months and 10 months.

Its my 30th this year, Ive never been to a spa before so I thought that would be a good idea, a whole load of us going but in particular I thought it'd be a great relaxing, pamering session for us 3 since we've been in hiding having babies and toddlers (our older children) covered in puke and crayon the last year.

Ive mentioned it to them both a few times, they both thought it was a great idea. We chose the place and I cant wait! Despite the fact its still 6 months away, Im really looking forward to it.

But yesterday I get a text from one of my lovely mates, and I fear I was a bit or a dick.

She asked what we (our other friend and I) were doing on X date next month? And shall we go to a spa? How about this one >names the spa<

Its the one I really want(ed) us to go to for my 30th it looks amazing!

I said no, I wanted to 'save' it for then, it would take the shine off it if we went now. Pretty gutted she'd suggested it.

Then I felt like a right dick, she was only being nice so I text back an hour later and appologised for being stupid about it.

I feel like a dick still, but cant shake the feeling if disapointment.

Tell me to get a grip, because I need to dont I? Do I?

Did she reply to your apology text?

Yeah she said dont worry about it.

Text is such a peculiar way of carrying out a discussion with so called friends. Why don't you just ring her?

You do sound a bit precious about your 30th tbh
I just spent mine with dh and dcs

You apologised and she said it's OK. Are you still disappointed because she suggested it or because she's still planning to go.

Please don't worry about it. Now that you've texted back I bet she wont give it another thought.

We all feel strongly about things sometimes.

Anais, both. I feel like I cant shush my inner petulant child. I'll not let it be an issue with them by any means. Its just bugging me, but also bugging me because I know IABU.

You might be being unreasonable if you made something of it and hadn't apologised, but you're not being unreasonable to feel a bit disappointed - I would . As for "being precious about your 30th" it's just personal taste how you decide to celebrate it.

I expect WhiteTrash that your friend had just heard you mention a spa date a lot and thought it would be nicer to do it sooner rather than later if you had the option. It doesn't sound like she was maliciously trying to steal your thunder.

I can be terribly bad at waiting for stuff and I might think my friend would love to go more than once to a spa after she had initially suggested it. So it would be an extra treat for us all. It wouldn't necessarily occur that my friend wanted to do it only on that birthday.

So I think it was just a bit of a misunderstanding. She didn't realise it was something you had chalked down as your 30th treat alone and you feel a special idea you had has been spoilt by your friend taking control of the idea and changing the plans that were special to you.

I think you can stop beating yourself up now and if you still feel bad, phone her tomorrow and explain. And maybe suggest doing something else fun next month that is different - pedicures? Gel nail varnish that lasts two weeks despite baby duties?