To be a teensy bit jealous/sad over friends engagement?

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DP and I have mutual friends that have just gotten engaged. They have been together 3/4 years and have a gorgeous DS, they are always professing their love for one another on fb and generally seem like the perfect family.
DP and I on the other hand have been together for nearly 5 years, not a sniff of a ring yet, no DC together (apart from my DS) and always seem to be bickering at each other at who's turn it is to do the washing up (romantic eh) AIBU to feel slightly jealous of their seemingly perfect life and to also feel a bit sad about my relationship in comparison to theirs? :(

YABU, solely because constantly professing love for your other half on Facebook is both and deeply suspicious - or evidence of having the interior life of an ant.

Yabu to believe its as perfect as it seems! Im sure they have their troubles. Why not talk to your dp

agree.

Don't compare yourself to others.

If you want to get married, bring it up with your DP, he might not know how you feel about this.

YANBU to feel a bit sad. It took my DH 5 years to propose, and my best friend got engaged before me after being with her boyfriend for less than a year, so I feel your pain.

DH and I are very happy now though

YABU but so am I in a similar situation (together two years, no dc, plans in pipeline but dependant on other factors)

Their perfect life on facebook is just that - on facebook. It's not real! It's just a way to make up to each other after an argument about who's turn it is to wash up. Do you really want your relationship to be that shallow?

I always think its odd that people think if its on Facebook then it can't be real. Surely it can be both, and that's why its also on Facebook? Why so suspicious? Is it so unfathomable that two people can be deeply in love and happy and want to shout about it? How sad that this is viewed with such suspicion.

YANBU to feel a bit jealous but you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. DH and I look like a great couple on the outside but we argue and silly things too. I think it's normal.
I don't think professing your love on fb is an insight into relationships to be honest.
I think it's important make an effort in the relationship and you don't have to wait for your DP to pop the question :)

Yeah I did think its a bit strange to be putting that kind of stuff on fb tbh. She is a sahm so its really more her posting on his wall most of the time. DP knows how I feel, he says if he could afford a ring we'd be engaged by now
I guess we just have more of a real relationship. I like to think its because we are both quite fiesty that we have dramas every now and again

Tatty, because it smacks of "Pidjie

Can I just point out that 29th February is approaching?
Why not ask him? Then you could choose a ring together, but it could be a token. I was very happy with my £5 fairground ring for ages!

purple I don't know where he's gotten this idea that I need an expensive ring either? I'd be quite happy with a hula hoop until we could get a real one

Then tell him! Cubic zirconia sparkles just as much as a real diamond, doesn't have the potential ethical problems attached, and it's a symbol not the actual love any how

No point comparing yourself with other people, if you're unhappy with something in your own relationship then focus on doing something about that. Talk to your partner about things like marriage and children, don't just sit around being unhappy and waiting indefinitely for him to bring it up.

Sorry to say though the ring thing sounds like an excuse. As you say you don't need an expensive ring to agree to get married (you don't in fact need an engagement ring at all - I don't have or want one).

If you can't afford a ring though, can you afford a wedding? Or would you be happy to have a very quiet minimal one?

I dont understand why people need to show their "love" for each other in fb.....seems a bit false to me, almost like the lady doth protest too much kinda thing!

I had a friend who was like that with her DH...they adored each other, he doted on her, showered her with expensive gifts etc etc......then he fucked off with the office bike and left her with twin girls to bring up!

Just be thankful your relationship is OK..who knows what goes on behind closed doors.

My engagement ring was CZ...I loved it, god bless H. Samuels :)

I know a couple who have an outwardly perfect family. But they constantly argue, score points off each other, and both spend 3-4 nights out a week separately.

DH and I have been married 15 years, never do public declarations of love/affection, but are vv happy together

I've been with dp about 8 yrs - we do have ds together - but I am asking him on 29th feb! Take the initiative and propose

Their relationship isn't perfect, they just don't let you know that they also argue over whose turn it is to do the dishes

When my ex and I were looking at engagement rings we saw a ceylon sapphire for about £450. Then I discovered I was pregnant so we bought a cheaper one, still a ceylon sapphire but less than half the price. I still loved it, the price wasn't important.

It belongs to DD now.

yanbu, their relationship won't be perfect for sure. Surely they should be too busy having great sex rather than updating FB!! Mention to your other half how you feel. No ultimatums or anything. See what he thinks.

We seem to be a perfect couple from the outside too- have had several friends say they're jealous and seem to have become the 'smug marrieds' everyone asks for relationship advice. In reality we've had a really awful couple of years and if it wasn't for our daughter we probably wouldn't have bothered working through it.

I'm always deeply suspicious of couples who claim to 'never argue'- in my experience they are simply not communicating, or avoiding difficult subjects, and it doesn't end well. In his speech at our wedding our best man told us he knows we'll last precisely because we bicker and argue all the time- we still love each other and want to be together at the end of it and the day we stop arguing will be the day we've stopped caring.

she sounds bored if she is posting on his wall all day clearly hasn't discovered MN

Do you tell your DP how much you love him and how much he means to you and how much you would hate to be without him?

(Suspect answer is noooooo.)

Perhaps if you did it would give him the nudge in the right direction.

Not at all. It's easy to feel jealous and I don't think you are being at all unreasonable. As long as you can be happy for them...!

x

Thanks everyone. maddening oh you are so brave I don't think I could propose to DP (he prob wouldn't take me seriously anyway!) and congratulations in advance
DP knows how I feel, I think he just doesn't want to do it half heatedly, he wants to do it when he can afford to do it "properly" although in between saving up for house deposit and two holidays this year we are bit stretched already.
Our friends are also next door neighbours and our walls are so think I'd be able to hear them argue, they must be in a delayed honeymoon stage me thinks!