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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that people don't take you seriously if you work from home?

48 replies

redwineformethanks · 19/02/2012 20:09

I previously worked in an office. I now do similar work, but from home. Everyone seems to think I am available at all times to do household chores, prepare dinner etc, because I am at home all day. I am finding this frustrating. When I worked in an office, I felt people had more respect for the fact I was "at work." Now, I feel people take my work less seriously. Any top tips?

OP posts:

NickNacks · 19/02/2012 20:11

Yanbu!!

Yes yes yes- so true! I have a wobbler every week over this!

NickNacks · 19/02/2012 20:12

Sorry no tips- will be looking out for them myself.

MaryAnnSingleton · 19/02/2012 20:13

people are just jealous !

miaowmix · 19/02/2012 20:13

I work from home and the thing that bugs me is friends phoning for a chat... I love chatting, I love my friends, but they wouldn't do this if I was in an office, I always feel mean saying I have a deadline. It's as if they think time is less important sometimes.

schoolchauffeur · 19/02/2012 20:49

Yes I drives me mad too- I work with a very small group of people so I know that work related stuff usually comes in on email or via mobile. I put the home phone on ansaphone when I am working so I only pick up if it is something urgent- otherwise I call them back when I am free. My bugbear is that we live on a main road so everyone sees my car on driveway as they pass by on their way back from shopping/time to kill before collecting kids and drop in for coffee. If I don't answer the door some of them just open it and shout out and others come round to the kitchen where I often work so there is no avoiding them. Started parking the car round the back of the house!!

BrandyAlexander · 19/02/2012 20:56

Yabu. I part work from home. It's all about discipline and expectations. I

BrandyAlexander · 19/02/2012 21:02

Sorry, phone! I have a home office and disappear into it to work only popping out a few times during the day. It's clear that I am no more free for a natter than if I was in the office so I cut off all non-work conversations fairly quickly. I don't do housework/chores etc during the work day. They are my most productive work days, and have been for about 10 years.

NickNacks · 19/02/2012 21:16

That's assuming everyone has a similar job to you, computer/ desk/ hone office based. I can't do that in my job and have to answer the phone/ door in case I'm needed.

miaowmix · 19/02/2012 21:20

Yes, I also get (lovely) friends who occasionally want to pop in for coffee, knowing I'm at home. I'd LOVE to but I am effectively at work. It is frustrating. I need one of those lovely garden summerhouse sheds to work in I think...

Mandy2003 · 19/02/2012 21:50

Same as GreyGardens every time I settle down to start something one particular friend always rings! I do say to her that I make sure I don't ring her while she's working, but it falls on stony ground.

miaowmix · 19/02/2012 22:10

Mandy I factor in 10am every day for a phone call from my best friend, and pretty much dedicate half an hour to our conversation.
We have been speaking on the phone virtually every day since we were 13 though so it's no great hardship, even though we don't exactly have anything to report, it's just completely habitual.
My mum even used to say 'what on earth do you have to talk to X about, you saw her at school', and it's still the same. I do love it though .

Trills · 19/02/2012 22:11

YAB a bit U to refer to "people" as if it's true everywhere and for everyone.

It might be the case at your work, but it's not where I work.

SP0104 · 19/02/2012 22:51

DH runs an internet business from home and I found that once people asked what he did (internet based business consultancy) they never asked again how it was going and never broached the subject with him. I honestly think they think he just stays at home doing nothing !!
I also noticed when I gave up work that family started saying, can you do this, can you pick the kids up, can you get this parcel for me. NO I CAN'T !!!

Pendeen · 19/02/2012 22:58

Although I have an accommodation address for correspondence to my practice (because I don't want my home details advertised on the net) I actually work from home.

I agree that it can sometimes prove difficult, epecially in school holidays but having done this for a few years I seem to be able to manage and most of my friends now recognise that when I'm working I'm 'at the office' and respect this.

SardineQueen · 19/02/2012 23:04

YANBU I find it very hard myself, TBH

Most annoying thing is that my parents would do childcare when I was going "out" to work (very grateful), but when I got the working from home job, despite the fact they said they would be happy to help, in fact they don't understand why I can't do it if I'm at home myself. So they don't do it any more. Um that's a help.

NotWell · 19/02/2012 23:16

I have had to kick DD2 out of her room and make her share with DD1 so I can have an office!

Once the door is shut they know they can't come in! DH is still crap at coping domestically though.

Threeprinces · 19/02/2012 23:43

YANBU - I do the school run in my jeans and arrange client meetings at 9.30 or 10 so I come home and get smartened up if I have a meeting, otherwise I work in jeans.

I think even those who know I work don't seem to actually recognise that I do have to work and don't sit around the house all day. Those who don't know me well probably assume I don't work.

I help in school one morning a week and again it's the type if thing that non working parents do so I'm not convinced they consider me a working mum and are often asking me to do more things in school which I just can't do but end up feeling bad saying no.

Difficult to manage sometimes. I have a dedicated office and try to go in there but am not good at not answering the home phone and I guess people know that. Perhaps I should set certain working hours but the beauty of working for myself is that I work when needed but not when not (my job can vary quite a lot from week to week).

BackforGood · 20/02/2012 00:11

Depends who you mean by "people".
If it's your dp / dcs then you have to set boundaries, and stick to them... "No, sorry, that's a working day" applies if you are in the office, at home, or on the road somewhere.
I do find one of the many advantages of working from home though, is that I can empty the washing machine or put dinner in the oven/slow cooker at the best time for those jobs (I "stop the watch" and this doesn't count as working time, but it takes a lot less time than commuting to my office so my commitment to work doesn't suffer, but the household runs a lot smoother).

Pendeen · 20/02/2012 12:22

There is also an element of jealousy in the "not being taken seriously" attitude.

I do not have to commute, arrange for someone to be in for the heating man or deliveries etc. and thus have far more control and flexibility than someone who is office-based.

redskyatnight · 20/02/2012 12:26

DH works from home part of the time. He deals with colleagues remotely anyway so none of them treat him any differently. DC and I know that he is at work and don't disturb him unless really necessary (the sort of thing I'd have rung him up to ask if he'd worked in an office). He doesn't answer the house phone so no one non-work related can contact him.

And he is at home to do domestic chores, prepare dinner etc where necessary. Which is surely a big perk to being at home?

I genuinely can't think of anyone who treats him less seriously.

wordfactory · 20/02/2012 12:35

YANBU - everyone asumes I am free to do whatever they need becasue I a. work from home and b. work very flexibly...but sometimes I lose the plot.

Every day my Mum says 'so what are you doing today?' and seems genuiniely shocked when I say I'm working. When did she think I actually wrote all these bloody books.

Grumpy today as just back from the States so jet lagged etc...

MidnightWorry · 20/02/2012 12:37

i work from home. my boss thinks he can click his fingers and i jump.

for example, texting me at midnight after droppin gpaper work round at 7ish to say he wants it all done by 6am. then ringing me at 6.15 am to see if he can pick it up again on his way in. um no. fuck off.

I find it really hard working from home, disconnected from work but its good for now.

I dont know.

Avantia · 20/02/2012 12:50

I work part time form home - love it but YANBU .

I do fell that DH doesn't take it seriously but he soon would if the money disappeared !

I can walk the dog to clear my head and now don't even have to do the school run as my DS get themselves off to school .

Also you can browse MN

nobodyspecial · 20/02/2012 13:07

Well I would say YANBU, BUT.....my brother works from home. Every time I have knocked on the door to drop something over (this happens very rarely) he has either been out collecting his daughters from school OR out to the shops. I've also noticed an increase in the amount of time he spends on FB fiddling around with his new timeline and putting up new links.

It's so hard isn't it being able to do all these things whilst at work ..at home...

stealthsquiggle · 20/02/2012 13:13

top tips (sorry, haven't read whole thread because I am at work (at home)):

Don't answer the home 'phone - if people need to contact you, they can call you "at work"
Don't (always) answer the door
Shut the door of whichever room you are working in (for me, this is as much about allowing me to ignore the chaos as it is about signalling to everyone else that I am working)
Set a start/finish time and stick to it as much as possible

..and enjoy the lack of commute!

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