NOT to go to see what's happening - when I hear another adult (family member) 'telling him off'?

[youarekidding]

So had my cousins DD's christening today. Went back to Aunties afterwards. DC's and younger family (18-early 20's) were in the conservatory the rest of us in the lounge. It's always been this way even when I was a child - we were left to it and adults only intervened if needed. And it was whoever was nearest!

I did the tea/coffee distribution and sorted out my Nan's food. Then held my DNephew for a bit and ate myself. I was then holding my other cousins DD (4 weeks) whilst she had a cuppa and some food.

I heard my Auntie asking DS (7) not to do something. He either didn't hear or ignored her and I heard her ask him again. I heard DS then say sorry and my Auntie say "that's OK, just it might break".

From this I took that he hadn't heard, he'd stopped and apologised and was behaving sensibly again.

My Dsis then told me I should go and see what he had done. I said he was fine.

My sister just did a dramatic sigh and muttered something about me being lazy and more interested in the baby.

So AIBU not to intervene when the problem is sorted?

BTW IF he was being naughty and not responding I would have gone but it seemed like a non event to me - and my Auntie didn't even mention it to me. I just think children need to learn if they do something silly/ naughty then any adult can pull them up.

Guess I'm a 'takes a village' kinda gal

Nothing wrong with what you did. It's the way families used to be and it's great yours is still the same :)

Does your sis have kids?

Chipping You seem to think the same as me anyway! And just to make you as jealous as me - my Dad is skiing in the Alps ATM

She has a 3month old DS. She's extremely a tad PFB about him. Did wonder if that affected her judgement!

I'm torn between thinking I may never be able to tell my nephew 'no' and that she'll be grateful for someone else doing it in a few years.

I still firmly believe in the old adage of 'it takes a village to raise a child...' and Auntie had it under control. She was probably chuffed that you didn't rush in all guns blazing and just let her deal with it. Kudos. Sister is a nobber.

My Auntie has 4 children! The three eldest boys! She also has two GD's 9 and 1. I have 1 DS! I think your right that if I hadn't trusted her to deal with it she may have been a little

I think it was fine :)

Different if he had carried on, but you heard he was behaving, so why would you go and see? He didn't need telling again.

I think you were totally right and there was nothing to check up on anyway, it was all dealt with by your auntie and as she didn't even mention it either it was a complete non-event as you say

Your sis wanted the baby but if it was being dealt with fine, if he had been back chatting or continuing to ignore then I would see what was happening

I would have done as you did, my family is similar.

I don't really get your sister's problem.

It was between your DS and his great aunt, you were not part of what was going on. Why insert yourself into proceedings unless needed?

Also, it's perfectly reasonable to be more interested in a new baby you don't see every day than a minor spat involving a 7 year old and a middle-aged woman.

Maybe you could have asked your aunt when she got back what it was that he had done and said you hoped he hadn't broken anything. You could ask DS afterwards, when you're home, what had happened and told him you were glad he stopped it and apologised, and encouraged him not to do it again. That's just hair splitting though.

The sister's idea of one-upping the aunt in her own house is not right imo. She had the situation well in hand and it was her house.

I bet your sister is going through that pfb phase where she thinks she is going to be on her DC's case 24/7.

patti she is definately PFB! Whereas the cousins DD who I was holding is like I was - you want a cuddle - here, take the baby

TBcompletelyH I wouldn't have gone even if I wasn't holding the baby! It's just it seemed a minor thing and not worth moving a sleeping baby for iyswim?

Math your right about asking DS. I did ask him in the car what he was doing when Auntie X asked him to stop - but he couldn't even remember!

Groove In any other situation I would agree - that she wanted the baby. But she was holding her own DS and she won't put him down, and only lets others touch hold him reluctently.

Nagoo I agree - I just don't see the point of having a child told the same thing twice by 2 different people if they've stopped. And I really think he was doing something silly as oppossed to being naughty iyswim? There were 7 other adults aged 19-25 in the room DS was in.

athing I didn't get her problem either Hence why I ask here - never sure if it's me- and everyone else was secretly thinking what she was!

sars thanks, I didn't really think there was much to check on - especially with 7 other adults there!

YANBU. No reason for you to have got involved and it would have undermined your auntie. Is your DSis going to be one of those tiresome mothers that won't let anyone tell off precious little Johnnie ?

ohdear I fear she might

She is possibly feeling very overprotective of her baby and projecting her fears onto your DS. Is she ok? Any signs of PND do you think?

i guess denise from royle family is a "village" kinda gal too lol

i am sure she would have a similar explanation

YANBU Your DS did something he shouldn't have, your aunt dealt with it. I think it's good for children to realise that other adults can tell them off if they're being naughty.

The only time I'd have intervened is if one of mine was being cheeky and then I'd have told them off for that and backed up the adult who was telling them off. In your case it doesn't sound as if that's what happened.

You "ate yourself"?

You weren't unreasonable to leave him to it. The behaviour was dealt with once. Doing it again would only cause anxiety and send the wrong message.

feedme I don't watch Royal Family. Enlighten me. (if I want to know what you mean)!

math she is very protective of her DS, almost to a worrying degree. She says he's a difficult baby, which I've never seen, but I'm not sure sure how much of it is that he can't sit still, be left for 5 minutes and how much is her iyswim? She'll pick him up if she thinks he may cry so has never had the chance to know if he will or not. People (inc me) offered to switch seats so she could put his car seat down and he could be put next to/ by her, but despite the fact he was fine in it and happy she was flustering over him not liking it and needing to be out. This was after her DP had walked past me with it, DN was awake so I said hello to him. She told me off for waking him up . Her DP said he was awake already, and her reply was that people don't need to keep talking to him. I seem to get told off by my younger sister a lot! I don't think it's PND, she does have quite a controlling personality, but I am use to that and don't respond.

rede I'm tasty

chaotic cheek would have got him into trouble! I don't allow any sort of answering back. He knows if an adult tells him off and he doesn't know why/ disputes it he comes to talk to me.