to think these snide remarks are not necessary?

[Murdochmysteries]

I was in a park with my youngest today who's 6 but the size of a 10/11 year old.

Park sign says it is for 5-10 year olds.

My son was playing by himself, going up and down the slide in the correct manner, waited his turn etc. He keeps himself to himself and is very quiet.

A couple of mothers of similar age children, although if I am going to be as judgy as them may have been only 4 as they were small, were there, and said remarks to each other about it was a shame that some children were obviously unable to read, as the park is only for the under 10s, and why would that boy want to play in the park anyway.

Probably waiting for me to respond or bite, as our children were only ones in there, and it was obvious that was my child.

But they couldn't be bothered to address it to me direct nor did they say anything in my son's ear shot, so I didn't say anything. Foolishly I sat there seething though.

This is not the first time this has happened, with people mistaking height for older years. It does make me cross though.

You really have to tackle this. I know it's hard, but you're going to have this again and again and once you've tackled it once, you will find the strength to do it again.

You should have gone up to the women and said, "I've just heard you say that the park should be for children aged 5 to 10. I agree with you. My son, by the way, is only 6, so he's well within his rights to play here. Hope that's alright with you." Big smile, then go back to your seat.

Just shows how incredibly important it is NEVER to judge others. Planks, specks, eyes etc.

I'm sure I've posted judgey things on here, and thought them, and said them . It's one of the reasons I do feel sad about not being religious any more, as hearing readings about the importance of not judging, turning the other cheek etc really made a difference to my behaviour IMO. Well, at least you turned the other cheek today.

What Imperial said.

Look them straight in the eye - big smile and say "My son is only 6" and watch them squirm x

I would have joined in the conversation and acted innocent and asked when they saw older children there.

I think you should say exactly what Imperial said, and then tell us how the idiots reacted. :)

Agree with Imperial. Good luck :) xx

What a shame you had to put up with these stupid passive aggressive comments. I think next time you should do what Imperial said and show them up!

Yes, tell them and watch them turn pink.

Age limits on parks make me anyway. I have two DDs, three years apart does some prat in the council think DD1 and DD2 are going to suddenly stop playing the games they've always played together just because DD1 has reached the age of 10.

I know parks don't want teens rioting, but preteens still need to run around and still need supervising. They will play where their younger siblings play.
Likewise DD2 has been found on things marked for older DCs.

You can't get in our parks for the teens and smashed glass :(

joanofarchitrave you don't have to be religious to live by the "judge not lest ye be judged" motto.
I would do exactly what Imperial said. No need to be rude, but horrible cowardly comments like the ones from these women aren't ok.

My parents used to say something in those situations.

I was ridiculously tall as a child (only grew 1 inch after 10 though, so stopped at 5'7), and from when I was 2 or 3 people were often really judgey about the fact that I was behaving like a toddler/preschooler or playing with younger children.

So my mum just used to tell them outright that I was playing with 2yos or acting like a 2yo because I was 2.

Same trouble when I started school and was the same height as older children. Used to get told off for not being careful and running into a "younger child" when I was 4 and one of the youngest in the school.

you should have kicked them in the collective cunts

Lovely alliteration there Custardo - I'll store that one away to use as an example with DCs.

for OP. Also a Best Mummy Award for going to the park today instead of sitting on MN like what some of us did

why didn't you just say he is only 6? I'm waiting for the thread saying that they were in the park and someone who was older than the age range was playing there.....

if i was bothered I'd assert his age
and walk away with a smirk

But you said that he looks 10? How were they to know he wasn't? Stop moaning and say something dammit!

Oh Imperial is dead on. Definitely say something next time.

I anticipate having this kind of problem as my DS is very tall for his age. I plan to just correct people calmly and sort of set that example for DS because I'm sure at some times people will say things to him directly and I want him to know how to handle it.

I'd say something too, although they really should learn some tolerance especially as your boy was behaving well.

It never surprises me how freely some people will speak within earshot, believing themselves brave and outspoken (all tut-tutty) usually around friends and yet they do not have the courage to speak to a person directly. Grrrr

Were you worried about making a scene, OP, or think you would be outnumbered?

I probably would have said (innocently)
Oh was that remark intended for me? My son is 6 by the way. Yes yes he's tall, and such a lovely boy!

And then I would BEAM (you know the kind of beam that comes with the all too invisible finger)

Very childish I know, but I would be the one leaving with a smile.

If you find it hard to address it, try saying the same thing each time - I find that helps with DS2, (at the other end of the scale, tiny, with SEN.)

We went to a children's concert today throughout which my DS sat with his coat over his head and his fingers in his ears because he said it was too loud. At the end of the concert some granny sitting behind us with her DS, DIL and young GCs turned to her son and and loudly made some snarky comment. I just looked at them all (the DIL noticed) and I WISH I'd told the witch to mind her own bloody business. Still smarting, can you tell?!

This story has left me a bit seething - why are other parents so snidey?

All the hours and hours I've spent with ds alone in parks and playgrounds, there's no other environment where I've felt so lonely, judged and miserable.

OP, I feel for you and think it would have been very hard to approach these people with a comment, it's always harder as the one on your own. There has been some good advice here though, I wish I'd spoken up for myself more.

I've had this forever with my now 13 yr old DS. I was once at rugby with him when 2 pissed up dads stormed the pitch demanding the ref stop the bloody game! (despite the fact that all players have reg cards). Had it in sift play areas restaurants etc etc made me so angry.

He's now 6th 1 size 13 shoes and last week we were out for a meal and the waitress gave him a pint of Stella that my DH ordered for himself.

Tackle it shut the judgy fuckers up!