Iabu. Piano lessons

[Kennyp]

am trying to teach friend of ds to play the piano. Volunteered to do it when i was drunk, am not getting paid for it.

The child is 9. Hsve been teaching since september. Have made 2% progress. Child really hasnt grasped it at all. Can't recognise any notes, really not getting it.

Hsve tried various different approaches but all hopeless. How do i tell the mum that there is no point with me pursuing it at the moment. Child supposedly practices at home but to no avail.

Mum can be quite aggressive so i dint want to upset her. AIBU?!?! Very, i think. But hve given it time and since no progression since september i really cant see the point in progressing. Thanks

"I'm a good swimmer but couldn't teach someone to swim. Teaching is totally different to doing."

Agree. Seems a shame to write the kid off as unmusical or tone deaf when he hasn't tried lessons with an experienced, qualified teacher.

Your friend doesn't sound much of a friend if you think she will get aggressive if you can't do this favour for her any longer...

Lol, flibbertywidget!!!!

Having read all replies and getting too involved in this for my own good
A. I think the child is tone deaf
B. Have taught my daughter fine so i can do it
C. I agree, child is not as keen as once was
D. I give stickers for remembering a note, although when at home i doubt anything is done
E. Yes i di use the john thomsn books. I thought it was the man from cold feet.

F. I prefer using the alphabet to numbers for my bullet points
G. Could no way teach swimming but piano is very different. Although i sometimes play ina swimming costume. Perhaps thats why the child is not progressing and desperate to leave and retching through the lesson.

Will do one more lesson this week and talk to the child about it. Enjoyment levels are low, so i am probably forcing the issue. Wil be glad when its all over
Thanks again.

You've taught your daughter but I'm afraid that does not a teacher make. Parents may have an affinity with their own children, and be able to explain/demonstrate in a way they can understand. But a music teacher will be able to tailor their teaching to every individual.

And please do not let the child know you think he's "tone deaf". You hear of many people who say they never tried music again after someone told them that :(

To be honest OP I've taught my 3 kids to read and do other things but that really doesn't mean I could teach other people's children.

Like Popcorn says we do tend to have an affinity with our own kids.

I think you should tell mum that he just isnt getting it but september was only a few months ago , maybe he isnt musical and needs more time to pick it up , ask her to send him somewhere else for more intensive tuition as you dont have the time to do it ,

or he maybe doesnt reallly want to learn but mum is pushing him to do it dont get involved in that if its making the little boy miserable ,

I was taught the rudiments of cello by a friend. When we had got to a certqain point, she said that she really couldn't take me any further. I think this was her true feeling in our case but could you use it as an excuse? And pass on a number of a 'proper' piano teacher. If you're not one, of course.

Sadly it sounds like this "friend" is a cheapskate and won't be prepared to cough up for a professional teacher

Is there anything she can teach you in return? I once swapped lessons in something I'm good at for beauty treatments from a friend. If she is a freeloader at least a request would get rid of her.

I would suggest that because you are not being paid, your 'friend' is not taking it seriously. Otherwise she would be making sure the child practiced and be interested in his progress/worried at the lack of it.

The ideas that this is a child who cannot learn to play piano, or that you are someone who cannot teach is a bit of a non argument. What is clear is that you are not the teacher for him, and he is not the pupil for you - sometimes that happens. I'd tell his mum that he's not progressing and she'd better find him another teacher, as you can no longer give your time for free.

I do think anything like this, unless its your own child, should be kept on a professional level, then there are agreed expectations on both sides, and if they are not met then you can part company more easily.