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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to bloody throttle dp

22 replies

fedupbeingafool · 18/02/2012 16:54

Honestly, talk about a drama queen Angry

He came home from work Tues night with all the dramatic sniffles and I thought 'Here we go again'. Lo and behold he rings in sick on Wed and spends the WHOLE day in bed. Bear in mind I woke up with the same dose (basically a nasty head cold, achy joints and dizzy spells) but I just got on with it. We have a very demanding toddler so i'd no choice. Thursday, more of the same, most of the day in bed and when he sent me a text looking for tea and painkillers I nearly damn well lost it. Told him I was sick too and who was running behind me. Friday he went to the doc, came home and bed again. Today, he's still in bed. I'm fit to be tied and I just had a huge row with him. Ffs, he's 42 years old not a bloody baby. I'm still feeling like crap but he doesn't care. At least he's getting to rest but having said that I would never take the piss like that and spend the guts of 4 days in bed with the sniffles.

Please ladies, calm me down before I walk out that door and never come back Angry

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 18/02/2012 16:57

That is incredibly selfish. I suppose he thought he was much more ill than you. And the bloody nerve, asking you to bring tea! I'd love to know what the doctor really said. I have no advice for you, I'm afraid - I would have to kill someone who did that to me but can't recommend it!

ISayHolmes · 18/02/2012 16:59

Sympathies, that sounds utterly shit :( What does he think about the fact that you're ill too with what seems to be the same thing?

I would tell him to get up and stop taking the piss. 4 days in bed? That's ridiculous unless you have something severe, which the sniffles are not!

Gumby · 18/02/2012 17:01

I'd give him the baby and check into b&b for the night

izzyizin · 18/02/2012 17:01

Is his bed on wheels? If so, push it out of the door with him on it and then pour yourself a large medicinal scotch.

Original poster
fedupbeingafool · 18/02/2012 17:56

He's like this every time he's sick, drives me mad. I have no idea what the doctor said to him but seeing as there's no prescription it can't be that bad. This particular doctor is useless though, he's often signed dp off work for a week when there's feck all wrong with him Angry

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 18/02/2012 18:02

Have you actually seen the sick notes, though? You don't need one for up to a week off work.

What does he have to say for himself when he's 'better'?

Is he extremely lazy and self centred the rest of the time?

scarletforya · 18/02/2012 18:13

I'd just take to the bed myself and kick him out of it. He can take his turn looking after the toddler now.

What's good for the Goose and all that!

YANBU for wanting to throttle him of course.

GrahamTribe · 18/02/2012 18:18

Why didn't you take the toddler up to the bedroom, put him/her on the bed with DP and tell him that you'll be back at around 11pm after shopping, a meal and a few drinks with friends? He's only behaving like that because you're allowing it to happen. As you say, if you have a toddler to care for you have to get on with it, so give him the toddler.

MissVerinder · 18/02/2012 18:28

fedup I know exactly how you feel. Takes the piss doesn't it? YADNBU.

mumsachocoholic · 18/02/2012 18:31

typical bloody man flu!Angry i know how u feel.
leave the toddler with him for a few hours and go have a treat somewhere tomorrow!

Callisto · 18/02/2012 18:34

If he is taking that much time off work through 'illness' I'd be worried about the security of his job. Not many employers who are going to carry a skiver in this day and age.

Other than that, I'd kick him into touch tbh. I can't stand self-indulgent wimps and whingers.

Jux · 18/02/2012 18:34

OK, arrange for some female mates to come round when he's about, and then talk very loudly about man-flu, take the piss out of those idiotic men who think the wives and girlfriends are taken in by that nonsense etc.

DH heard a conversation of this nature - in fact he was in the same room as us. He clearly decided that he was never going to risk being accused of suffering from man-flu and having women laughing at him behind his back, and has struggled on manfully ever since, which is a huge improvement!

It was particularly nice for me as we hadn't engineered the conversation, it just happened.

DoNotDisturb · 18/02/2012 18:36

Yadnbu. It's the most irritating thing in the world. DH now says to me "it's not my fault I'm weaker than you!" Angry

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 18/02/2012 18:36

YANBU. Hope you get a break, too.

samandi · 18/02/2012 18:37

I actually wish more people would take a day off work when they have a cold. Yesterday was spent with a colleague coughing and sneezing over me and if I catch a cold from him I'll be pretty annoyed.

I also sometimes spend a day in bed when I have a cold, unless I have something pressing to do.

Having said that, of course it's unbelievably selfish to expect you to do all the work at home when you have a kid to look after and when you are suffering from the same thing. And expecting you to look after him as well ... YADNBU.

nobodyspecial · 18/02/2012 18:37

He might be really ill. I've had a cough thats developed into a chest infection, fever, constant cough, sniffles and I can't get out of bed. I've been in bed since Wednesday and I nearly fell down the stairs last night I was so dizzy. I'm on antibiotics but still not feeling any better.

I wonder if this is the first time your DH has done this to you? Mine did this twice, and he bloody heard it from me. Hasn't had the balls to act ill like that again. Infact, at the touch of a sniffle he starts taking all sorts to combat it.

You need to shout/scream/not do ANYTHING, I mean ANYTHING for him. No food. No going out and buying meds. Let him be. He'll never do it again.

DressDownFriday · 18/02/2012 18:38

Take toddler upstairs in your bedroom. Climb in bed next to DH and see what happens.

samandi · 18/02/2012 18:39

Fours days off work with a cold is taking the piss though. If he does that every time he has a cold/is ill I'd be surprised his employers aren't looking into his absence record.

doblet · 18/02/2012 18:39

Have you considered the fact that he may genuinely be feeling really ill?

nobodyspecial · 18/02/2012 18:43

No actually I take that back. Check his temp and keep an eye on him to make sure he's actually ill. I've just had the worlds worse coughing fit. He might really be ill. I don't wish this illness I have on anyone.

Original poster
fedupbeingafool · 18/02/2012 18:43

I had a nosey at the sick note (for his job he needs one if he's out for more than one day). The box for 'acute respitory somethingorother' is ticked. But honestly, this doctor will give a sick note for anything .

When he's better he'll just carry on like normal. He might be in a huff with me as I was so mean to him while he was sick Hmm

He's normally not so bad, would help around the house etc. Just this taking to bed crap really irritates me.

OP posts:
Casmama · 18/02/2012 20:01

It's probably acute respiratory infection which could just mean a cold - if he is a repeat offender I agree with those advising dump the toddler on him tomorrow and disappear for the day.

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